everyone say that? What’s the saying? Familiarity breeds contempt? I just needed a change of pace.”
“Sounds like,“ he pretended to be deep in thought, “A bad break-up.”
Jaylah wondered if he was asking because he hoped she was single or if he thought women were so fragile after losing a lover they needed to flee to another country to mend. “Something like that,” she said.
“How long were you two together?”
“Five years,” she said, wondering if she should tell him the truth.
He winced. “That has to be tough.”
They walked in silence, minutes passing between them. Although Jaylah liked being able to reshape her history to make herself seem less like a failure, she didn’t want to lie to him. She couldn’t.
“Actually,” she said, breaking the quiet, “I lost my job. I…got fired.”
Jaylah rambled to fill the lull between them. “I’m a writer and I was working for a paper in L.A. One day my editor calls me in to say they’re letting me go. Just like that,” Johnny listened; she kept gushing. “No warning, no conference to say, ‘Hey you need to get your shit together, Jay.’ Just…fired.”
She felt her chee ks getting hot all over again and her voice cracked. “You know what’s the worst part? I spent five years there, even though I knew I could do so much better, because everyone else thought I was this huge success. ‘Oh, Jaylah has her name in the paper. Oh Jaylah gets to go to concerts for free, Oh Jaylah is so lucky,’” she said, nearly in tears. “I followed the rules, I did what everyone expected, and in the end, what did I get?”
She stopped walking and focused on keeping tears from flooding her eyes. For the past month she struggled to repress her emotions, but they came tumbling out, threatening to ruin her good time.
“I’m sorry,” she said , looking up at him. “I must sound like such a madwoman.”
Johnny still hadn’t uttered a word since she launched into her rant. She wondered if she’d scared him off with her blathering. If so, she’d add TURNING JOHNNY OFF to her list of mounting defeats.
“Look, I c an just catch a cab,” she said, offering him a way out. “I’m sure I can find one down—“
Johnny put a finger to her lips, shushing her midsentence. He caressed her face with his large hand and wiped away an escaped tear.
“It’s ok,” he assured her before kissing her on the forehead. “I know how you feel.”
Jaylah did not utter a word; she waited.
She wanted him to kiss her, to part her lips and let his tongue play in her mouth. She wanted to feel his weight crushing down on her as she struggled to hold back her pleasure. She could picture it so vividly, the thought almost made her knees give out.
S he held her breath and waited.
Johnny grabbed her hand and h eld it to his lips. He kissed her palm, then clutched it as he led her to his car. They walked in silence, her hand in his. Not talking, and just barely touching.
Jaylah struggled to make sense of his restraint. She thought he wanted to taste her lips, figured he was close when they were pressed together, but he’d chosen her forehead instead. His decision made her doubt herself. Was she imagining his attraction? Was he just taking pity on her because he thought she was on the verge of a breakdown? A torrent of questions ran through her mind as they walked. She couldn’t figure him out and it vexed her.
Johnny’s car alarm chirped, snapping Jaylah back to reality. He opened her door and waited for her to get in before closing it. She stared out the window, trying to keep disappointment from overtaking her.
“Highbury, right?” he asked, looking over at her.
“Yes,” she said, refusing to return his glance. “Highbury Square. On Avenell Road.”
He flicked on the radio, finally filling the gap between them. Whatever heat they created on the dance floor was surely stamped out by her big mouth, Jaylah figured. She took out her phone to text Jourdan.
“OMW h
“Sounds like,“ he pretended to be deep in thought, “A bad break-up.”
Jaylah wondered if he was asking because he hoped she was single or if he thought women were so fragile after losing a lover they needed to flee to another country to mend. “Something like that,” she said.
“How long were you two together?”
“Five years,” she said, wondering if she should tell him the truth.
He winced. “That has to be tough.”
They walked in silence, minutes passing between them. Although Jaylah liked being able to reshape her history to make herself seem less like a failure, she didn’t want to lie to him. She couldn’t.
“Actually,” she said, breaking the quiet, “I lost my job. I…got fired.”
Jaylah rambled to fill the lull between them. “I’m a writer and I was working for a paper in L.A. One day my editor calls me in to say they’re letting me go. Just like that,” Johnny listened; she kept gushing. “No warning, no conference to say, ‘Hey you need to get your shit together, Jay.’ Just…fired.”
She felt her chee ks getting hot all over again and her voice cracked. “You know what’s the worst part? I spent five years there, even though I knew I could do so much better, because everyone else thought I was this huge success. ‘Oh, Jaylah has her name in the paper. Oh Jaylah gets to go to concerts for free, Oh Jaylah is so lucky,’” she said, nearly in tears. “I followed the rules, I did what everyone expected, and in the end, what did I get?”
She stopped walking and focused on keeping tears from flooding her eyes. For the past month she struggled to repress her emotions, but they came tumbling out, threatening to ruin her good time.
“I’m sorry,” she said , looking up at him. “I must sound like such a madwoman.”
Johnny still hadn’t uttered a word since she launched into her rant. She wondered if she’d scared him off with her blathering. If so, she’d add TURNING JOHNNY OFF to her list of mounting defeats.
“Look, I c an just catch a cab,” she said, offering him a way out. “I’m sure I can find one down—“
Johnny put a finger to her lips, shushing her midsentence. He caressed her face with his large hand and wiped away an escaped tear.
“It’s ok,” he assured her before kissing her on the forehead. “I know how you feel.”
Jaylah did not utter a word; she waited.
She wanted him to kiss her, to part her lips and let his tongue play in her mouth. She wanted to feel his weight crushing down on her as she struggled to hold back her pleasure. She could picture it so vividly, the thought almost made her knees give out.
S he held her breath and waited.
Johnny grabbed her hand and h eld it to his lips. He kissed her palm, then clutched it as he led her to his car. They walked in silence, her hand in his. Not talking, and just barely touching.
Jaylah struggled to make sense of his restraint. She thought he wanted to taste her lips, figured he was close when they were pressed together, but he’d chosen her forehead instead. His decision made her doubt herself. Was she imagining his attraction? Was he just taking pity on her because he thought she was on the verge of a breakdown? A torrent of questions ran through her mind as they walked. She couldn’t figure him out and it vexed her.
Johnny’s car alarm chirped, snapping Jaylah back to reality. He opened her door and waited for her to get in before closing it. She stared out the window, trying to keep disappointment from overtaking her.
“Highbury, right?” he asked, looking over at her.
“Yes,” she said, refusing to return his glance. “Highbury Square. On Avenell Road.”
He flicked on the radio, finally filling the gap between them. Whatever heat they created on the dance floor was surely stamped out by her big mouth, Jaylah figured. She took out her phone to text Jourdan.
“OMW h
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