had been brought up here? What did she think of him? What opinion did she have of his manhood?Tears of rage stung his eyes. He could not put up with such insult. Suddenly he flung himself against her. He bit her neck like an angry animal.
âHey!â
Lee fought back and she was quite strong. He was surprised by her strength and eased off a bit. He was still struggling with her but at the same time he also said in quite a begging voice, âCome and lie on the bed with me.â
âNo, why should I?â
âPlease,â Gopi said.
âCertainly not.â
Then he let her go and lay down on the bed by himself. He lay there face downward and appeared in despair. She didnât know what to do about him. She wanted to get back to the window and look out and be filled by those wonderful sensations. But she couldnât just leave him lying there. Reluctantly she went and sat on the bed beside him. He didnât move. She couldnât see his face because it was buried in a pillow. âTurn around,â she said. âLook at me.â
âNo, no. Please go away.â
Although she would not at all have minded going away, it was not in her nature or upbringing to turn from distressful situations. She saw that they would have to have this out and prepared herself.
He raised his head to see what she was up to: then he flung himself round to face her. âYes, go. I know you want to.â
âNo, I donât.â
âYes, you want to get away from me. Because you hate and despise me.â
âHate and despise?â she repeated. âWhy are you talking like that to me?â
âItâs the truth.â He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and saw he had her attention. âYou know itâs the truth,â he said. Perhaps they could have a quarrel. He wouldnât at all have minded that. Quarrels heated people, raised their emotions for one another; they could be exciting.
But Lee was not disposed to quarrel. She was busy criticizing herself. It was not true that she hated and despised Gopi but if he felt that way, obviously something had gone wrong, she had failed him somewhere. âGopi, I like you,â she said with sincerity.
âThen why did you push me away?â
âI didnât mean to. I was thinking of something else.â
What to make of her? A girl who had been brought to a hotel roomâhad been led upstairs in full public viewâand now she said she had been thinking of something else. And this was not an inexperienced, unknowing Indian girl like his sisters, but a Western girl who was traveling all round the world by herself. Everyone knew that Western girls were brought up on sex, lived on sex. She must have slept with many, many men, over and over again. This thought suddenly excited and infuriated him. Who was she to push him away?
âYouâre a bitch!â he cried.
âThatâs not fair, Gopi,â she protested. âI didnât mean to hurt your feelings. I never thought of it, thatâs all.â
âNever thought of it! As if you English or American girls ever think of anything else! Everyone knows it. Everyone knows what you are.â
âWell, some of us,â Lee admitted, trying her very best to be impartial and truthful. âBut itâs not true about everyone, you canât say that. Itâs not true about me.â
Actually, he believed her. There was something disappointingly upright and cool about her as she sat there right next to him on the bed, prepared for serious discussion. But he didnât want to admit it to be true. He wanted to think about her as one thought about these girls, as the people downstairs thought about her.
âThen why did you come upstairs with me?â he taunted her. âOnly for what? Only to sit here and talk and have conversation?â
âAnd see the view.â
He wanted to laugh and he wanted to cry. Everything was going so
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