Read Online Trapped by Lawrence Gold - Free Book Online

question the woman’s role in perpetuation of the abuse. They act as if they have no choice but to stay.”
    “Blaming the abused sounds cruel and simplistic, don’t you think?”
    “I don’t blame them. My heart goes out to them. It’s inconceivable to me that men can do such things to those who they’re supposed to love and protect.”
    “I lived through Sandy’s abuse. I saw her reactions . She blamed herself, made excuses for him, and feared that any transgression, often undefined, could set him off.”
    “Don’t you hold your mother partly responsible?”
    Lisa’s eyes filled. “I love Sandy , and yes, I do blame her for what’s happened to her and to me, yet blaming her seems unfair, and it doesn’t make me feel any better.”
    “Hopelessness robs women of life. I’m the prototypical glass-half-full man. I don’t know if it’s in my DNA , or in my upbringing, Lisa, you know the nature vs. nurture argument. I’m embarrassed to say that, for whatever reasons, I’ve always felt that my problems would work their way out.”
    “What’s wrong with that?”
    “It’s an ill-advised way of dealing with our world. When I was young, I was the dupe for my friends’ antics. They shocked my expectations of goodness and fair play. Over time, I learned to deal with people who exalted their own frail egos at the cost of another’s. Deep down, they disappointed me, and people like that continue to disappoint me to this day.”
    “I expected the worst of people,” Lisa said, “and so they rarely surprise me.”
    “In college, and in medical school, I tried cynicism, but it never fit. Instead, when possible, I ignored, deflected, or avoided the malcontents and the manipulators. It works, but it’s only effective if you have no responsibilities.”
    “But you do have responsibilities.”
    “As Shakespeare said, ‘there’s the rub’. I have a predisposition to trust, taking things at face value, but I’m smart enough that I no longer have to learn the hard way.”
    Mike couldn’t decide whether the telephone was a blessing or a curse, but, whichever; they’d, by long-distance, grown closer.
    “When he dies, I’ll come up and help in any way I can.”
     
    The call came on the morning of the eighteenth day of Rudy’s hospitalization. They had found him dead at five in the morning.
    Thank God , she thought that Rudy had decided long ago against burial, and had paid the Neptune Society in advance for cremation. Lisa and Sandy arranged for a private ceremony for their few close friends and a handful of relatives. On a bright Sierra day, Sandy spread Rudy’s ashes on their heavily treed property. Mike held Lisa’s hand throughout the ceremony.
     
    The setting sun cast a forest of shadows streaking across the property and the back deck, where Mike and Lisa sat.
    Lisa held Mike’s hands. “I feel sad at Rudy’s death, but I don’t know why.”
    “Your father was a bastard, but abused children are often ambivalent about the abuser. I don’t know how you feel. It may take time to fully understand it.”
    “I know you’ll think I’m crazy, Mike, but I don’t think that death is the end. Each of us has an immortal soul that continues in one form or another after the body dies.”
    “Right!”
    “Don’t laugh. Many intelligent people think that death is only a phase.”
    “I’m not laughing. It surprises me that you buy into all that spirituality nonsense.”
    “Don’t say that,” she said standing, her face reddening. “Don’t dismiss me, Michael, I don’t like it.”
    “Look, Lisa, you can believe anything you want. The last thing I want to do is try to control you in any way. What makes us good together is that we come to each other freely, and without reservation, but if you pose a question, I’m going to answer it honestly.”
    “Is your mind closed to alternative theories of the universe? A closed mind is a dead -end street.”
    “My mind is open to anything I can see, touch, or