moment. I wanted us to go to Stone Heath yesterday, so I could tell you and show
you ...”
His words wash over me. “... You know what makes me laugh?” The question is purely rhetorical,
and I don’t bother waiting for a reply. “I actually went to see Alenka to fight for you; to warn her off
and look how that’s turned out. What the hell was I thinking?”
“You were thinking about us Beth,” he asserts, struggling to get the words out
Like a demented fool, I laugh at myself. “Yeah, right. That’s a mistake I won’t make again.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” This is more like it. The man behind the camera speaks.
“It means I don’t need this kind of crap in my life. I thought I needed you. Turns out I don’t
because with you comes a shit load of dark secrets that you haven’t even got the decency to tell me
about. I’ve had enough.”
Every ounce of regret reverberates in his voice. “I think this is a conversation we should save until I
get back.”
“I bet you do. And what will happen then? Will you seduce me; fuck me into submission like all the
others ...?”
“You’re upset Beth. You don’t know what you’re saying.” I hear a change in the tenor of his voice;
it’s becoming more baritone, deep and controlling. He’s close to breaking point and so am I.
“I know what I’m saying Ayden and I know who I am. What I don’t know is who the fuck you are!”
“Yes, you do. You know me better than anyone baby.”
The softness in his voice is too much. It tips me over. “I’m not your baby Ayden, or your little
genie …. I’m the one that got away ...” I hold the phone away from my face and try to hold onto a
rational thought.
What did I just say?
“Beth, Beth ...”
“Don’t call me and don’t send me any songs or flowers or gifts. If you love me, then let me go.” I
cover my mouth to muffle my sobs.
“No.” He yells, making me jump. “Stop! Put this fucking phone next to your ear right now and
listen to me.”
For reasons best known to my heart, I do as he asks.
“Don’t you dare say ‘if ’ I love you because there is no ‘if’ about it. I love you with every breath I
take. I live for you. I’d do anything for you, only you.”
I continue to sniff and allow him to carry on.
“I’m ashamed of myself for what happened yesterday because you didn’t deserve that, but the
photos you saw were not random acts of cruelty. They were two consenting adults acting out their
fantasies. You get that, don’t you? Stop crying and answer me.”
His serious question holds my attention. “Yes ...” I answer, wiping my nose with a dusty tissue.
“I knew where you were forty minutes ago. If I hadn’t wanted you to see the photographs, don’t you
think I would have sent Lester in to carry you out, over his shoulder if necessary? I knew Alenka
would make sure you found out about us. She’s a smart lady who’s in love with me. She treasures
those pictures I took of her; they corroborate her fairy tale fantasy of us being besotted with each
other. But that’s not how it was.”
“No? Then how was it?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.
“It was fantasy fucking, that’s all. When she wasn’t hanging off my arm at some fancy event, she
was on her back in my basement, getting fucked any which way I pleased.”
“Listen to yourself Ayden. You make it sound so cold-blooded and sordid.” I’m gasping at the
thought.
“It was just sex Beth. I explained it to you the very first time we met ...”
I break-in. “I like to fuck beautiful women who want to be fucked by me ...”
“You remembered?” I think I hear a smile in his voice.
“It’s not the remembering I have trouble with, it’s the forgetting,” I sneer.
“Well, now you can forget it because the only woman I will be fucking for a very, very long time is
you.”
He is so sure of himself, I think I should be offended but I’m not. He’s telling me what I need to
hear.
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