Read Online The Undesired Princess by L. Sprague deCamp - Free Book Online

to break a lance with you.”
    “What tournament?” snapped Hobart, feeling like a man caught in quicksand, whose every movement gets him involved more deeply.
    “Why, tomorrow, at Prince Aites’ party!”
    “Not with my nose,” said Hobart.
    “What? But you just said it was not broken! We’ll wear closed helmets, so a mere bump on the nose is no excuse.”
    “It is to me. I’m not going in any tournament.”
    “But, my good Prince, surely you’re no coward?”
    “Not interested, that’s all.”
    The king spoke up: “What’s this about my future son-in-law’s being a coward? After he saved my life—”
    “Your Altitude,” said Valangas, “do you admit that a man is either a coward or he is not?”
    Rollin Hobart spoke loudly: “I said I wasn’t going to enter any damned tournament, and that’s that. Make anything of it you like.”
    The king looked unhappy; General Valangas sniffed contemptuously and began talking to someone else. Hobart asked a few questions about Hoimon, but all he gathered was that the gentlemen of the hunting party knew little and cared less about the activities of members of the brotherhood of ascetics.
    They had to hurry to make the city of Oroloia before dark, for, as Hobart knew by now, there was no twilight. When the sun dropped below the horizon, darkness came down with a clank.
    “The Onyx Room for cocktails in half an hour, my boy,” King Gordius told him before leaving him in the palace. “We’re eating privately tonight. Nois, I’m tired!”
    Half the half-hour was spent by Hobart’s new valet, Zorgon, in a rather futile attempt to sponge out of existence the two beautiful shiners that had appeared around the unwilling prince’s eyes. When he entered the Onyx Room to find Princess Argimanda, and the social lion lapping a gallon of tea out of a bucket, the first words were a chorus from the princess and Theiax: “What happened to your nose?” The princess made a movement toward him, but he had his firm face on and she restrained herself.
    Hobart told them the story of the hunt, and asked Theiax where he had been. The social lion looked sheepish, if one can imagine such a thing.
    Argimanda spoke up: “There’s a lioness in the Pyramidal Mountains, my l—Prince Rollin.”
    “Someday,” rumbled Theiax, “you go hunting with me. You eat plenty of good meat. I kill lots of animals; don’t eat any.”
    “Why not? You mean you kill just for the fun of it?” said Hobart.
    “Sure. I am sport. Sport is one who kills for fun, men tell me; one who kills for practical reason is wicked poacher. You come with me; I show you. When you and Argimanda have cubs, you bring them, too.”
    The princess gave a small sigh, and Hobart was just as glad to see King Gordius come in before the conversation got any more speculative. Following the king came Prince Alaxius and a couple of men carrying two small cannon turned into holders for potted plants.
    “Put them—let’s see—there and there!” said King Gordius. The men lowered the cannon, plants and all to the floor. Gordius said: “At least it’s fairly easy to dispose of those things. You’ve no idea, Rollin, how awkward swords are to beat into plowshares; and as for making spears into pruning hooks, it works all right, but we’ll have enough pruning hooks for ten kingdoms the size of ours. Ah, the drinks!” The butler poured and handed. The king said: “Here’s to a long, happy, and fertile married life, my children!”
    Hobart sipped to hide his expression, and sat down when the king did.
    “Boom!” It went off right under Hobart, who jumped a foot straight up, spilling the rest of his drink.
    The king started a little, too, as did the others. “Nois bless that boy!” he cried. “Wait till I get my hands on him!”
    “Oh, Father,” said the princess, “he’ll be an adolescent tomorrow!”
    “I take it,” said Hobart frigidly, “that you refer to my future brother-in-law, Prince Aites?”
    “Yes,