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Authors: Kirsten Rees
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but I couldn’t help but notice the few seconds delay before he reacted. He didn’t follow when I went to run my arm under some cool water in the bathroom. The red mark burned into my flesh reminded me of the branding they would do in the old days to show something or someone belonged to a person.
He stubbed out a cigarette on her arm? Alex felt intense anger run through him and cracked his knuckles in frustration. It was so hard to read about something that had already happened and still wish he could do something to stop it. For a moment he considered not going any further, after all, he hadn’t really learnt anything that helped how he was feeling and if anything he was just getting more desperate about the whole situation when it was already too late to do anything about it.
Outside the bathroom a queue seemed to be forming and I couldn’t help overhearing a conversation.
“Did you see who’s here?” A girl's voice echoed through the wooden door.
“Yeah I know.” A second girl responded with little indication if she was pleased about it or not.
“Wonder who he’s seeing now!” The first girl seemed determined to turn this into a conversation.
There was a moments silence and she spoke again.
“Seriously Michelle, tell me you didn’t go there again. You know what Christian’s like.” she continued.
“I know. I just can’t say no to him.” the other girl replied.
I’d heard one of Chris’s friends mention a Michelle once but it was a common name. I realised then that even after all our time together, I had only assumed Chris's full name was Christopher. Standing alone in the bathroom, my arm had begun to go numb under the cold tap but I couldn't move. Suddenly a loud banging came at the door and I remembered I was holding up a queue.
By one am I was home as usual that night, but for the first time I didn't push the insecure thoughts to the back of my mind. Laid in bed, unable to sleep, I considered that Chris would eventually get bored of me if he hadn't already. I wasn't sure how long his interest with me would last and it only made me want him more.
Most of the time I spent time with Chris was at those parties, in crowded rooms, and with his friends. On the few occasions he invited me to his flat, it was to celebrate something that had gone well in his job. I enjoyed those times more than any other - we would make dinner together and talk and laugh and he would be so gentle with me. Especially after the cigarette incident, he seemed to be all the more sweet and affectionate toward me.
Last night had been one of those nights and we had had a pleasant evening just the two of us. I made dinner and he laid the table and it felt like a properly grown up, couple-like thing to do. Afterwards we watched one of his DVDs in bed, with me curled against his side. His eyelids blinked heavily before he closed them and I lay beside him watching his chest rise and fall. I made sure to set my alarm on my phone for my curfew and set it on vibrate - I had to be home on time but more importantly I didn't want to wake him. I knew it was wrong to care more about making him angry by waking him, than about angering my Mother because I fell asleep and worried her.
As much as I'd have loved to wander around his flat a little, I didn't dare move from his side in case he woke and caught me snooping. So I contented myself daydreaming about us together. I moved a wisp of hair from his eyes and gently touched his cheek. I laid my hand on his chest and felt the faint taps of his heartbeat.
Sometimes we would sit together on his bed with me in his lap with his guitar in mine and his arms around me. He would hold my fingertips against the guitar strings and strum whatever verse came to mind. When he was in a good mood, it would be a quiet melody and I wasn't sure if it was the soft notes or being so close to him that sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his chest against my back, his fingers pressed against
He stubbed out a cigarette on her arm? Alex felt intense anger run through him and cracked his knuckles in frustration. It was so hard to read about something that had already happened and still wish he could do something to stop it. For a moment he considered not going any further, after all, he hadn’t really learnt anything that helped how he was feeling and if anything he was just getting more desperate about the whole situation when it was already too late to do anything about it.
Outside the bathroom a queue seemed to be forming and I couldn’t help overhearing a conversation.
“Did you see who’s here?” A girl's voice echoed through the wooden door.
“Yeah I know.” A second girl responded with little indication if she was pleased about it or not.
“Wonder who he’s seeing now!” The first girl seemed determined to turn this into a conversation.
There was a moments silence and she spoke again.
“Seriously Michelle, tell me you didn’t go there again. You know what Christian’s like.” she continued.
“I know. I just can’t say no to him.” the other girl replied.
I’d heard one of Chris’s friends mention a Michelle once but it was a common name. I realised then that even after all our time together, I had only assumed Chris's full name was Christopher. Standing alone in the bathroom, my arm had begun to go numb under the cold tap but I couldn't move. Suddenly a loud banging came at the door and I remembered I was holding up a queue.
By one am I was home as usual that night, but for the first time I didn't push the insecure thoughts to the back of my mind. Laid in bed, unable to sleep, I considered that Chris would eventually get bored of me if he hadn't already. I wasn't sure how long his interest with me would last and it only made me want him more.
Most of the time I spent time with Chris was at those parties, in crowded rooms, and with his friends. On the few occasions he invited me to his flat, it was to celebrate something that had gone well in his job. I enjoyed those times more than any other - we would make dinner together and talk and laugh and he would be so gentle with me. Especially after the cigarette incident, he seemed to be all the more sweet and affectionate toward me.
Last night had been one of those nights and we had had a pleasant evening just the two of us. I made dinner and he laid the table and it felt like a properly grown up, couple-like thing to do. Afterwards we watched one of his DVDs in bed, with me curled against his side. His eyelids blinked heavily before he closed them and I lay beside him watching his chest rise and fall. I made sure to set my alarm on my phone for my curfew and set it on vibrate - I had to be home on time but more importantly I didn't want to wake him. I knew it was wrong to care more about making him angry by waking him, than about angering my Mother because I fell asleep and worried her.
As much as I'd have loved to wander around his flat a little, I didn't dare move from his side in case he woke and caught me snooping. So I contented myself daydreaming about us together. I moved a wisp of hair from his eyes and gently touched his cheek. I laid my hand on his chest and felt the faint taps of his heartbeat.
Sometimes we would sit together on his bed with me in his lap with his guitar in mine and his arms around me. He would hold my fingertips against the guitar strings and strum whatever verse came to mind. When he was in a good mood, it would be a quiet melody and I wasn't sure if it was the soft notes or being so close to him that sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his chest against my back, his fingers pressed against
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