Read Online The Shadow Matrix by Marion Zimmer Bradley - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Marion Zimmer Bradley
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Domenic's accident. And it is
just killing me. I feel as if I have a chest full of broken glass most of the time. I
thought, a few months ago, that I had come home, but now I am starting to doubt it. I
feel as estranged at Arilinn as I did before I came back to Darkover."
"You should have been an actress, Marguerida, because I never suspected how
unhappy you were here."
"Well, there is no help for it, since I don't really want to be a wild telepath. I don't want
to be any sort of telepath at all, frankly. I'd give anything to undo the past. Well, maybe
not anything. I would not give up Mikhail, or you. But it is not enough. I need some
peace, some quiet!"
"You wanted to go to Neskaya, and study with Istvana Ridenow, before you were
persuaded to come to Arilinn. Do you still wish that?"
"If I must be in a Tower, I would rather be with Istvana than anyone. She never makes
me feel as if I have two heads and a tail!"
"Good. I think I can manage that much, daughter. It is the least I can do for you."
Margaret stared at Lew, too astonished to speak for a second. Her heart gave a leap of
delight, of release. Then she steeled herself, afraid that she would be disappointed. It
could not be this easy! "Can you, really?"
Lew looked at her solemnly, but with just the hint of a twinkle in his eyes. "I am not
without influence, you know."
Margaret laughed and then found herself crying again. The sobs rose in her chest,
swelled up into her throat, and broke out of her mouth in spite of her efforts to silence
them. She bent over, holding herself, hugging her arms around her, wailing her grief
and loss. It was a dreadful noise, and she was ashamed of it, but she could not stop,
and Lew made no effort to halt it. Instead, he just sat and waited, as if he understood
how needful it was.
It was completely dark by the time she finally managed to stop weeping, and her face
felt sore. She mopped her cheeks for the hundredth time, blew her nose, and sank back
against the chair, exhausted. And, to her disgust and surprise, hungry. The smell of
dinner wafted through the room, and Katrin appeared in the doorway, a white dab of
flour on her short nose. She looked at Lew, grinned a little, and only said, "I had better
set another place."
Margaret chuckled softly". "One good thing about Dark-over—meals always seem to
appear on time, and frequently."
"Yes, they do. Now go wash your face." He grinned suddenly. "I used to tell you that
on Thetis, didn't I? Your face always seemed to be dirty."
"Yes, Father, you did, and it was. Thank you very much."
"For what?"
"Just thank you." And then she retreated quickly, for the tears were threatening to begin
again. She could not speak all the words that were brimming in her heart, her love for
this man, this father she had so lately discovered. There would, she hoped, be time to
say them, but not with a dirty face and an empty stomach. It would have to keep.
3
Halyn House was so well concealed within a grove of tall trees that Mikhail and his
Guardsmen almost rode by without realizing they had reached their goal. Only a thin
stream of smoke above the trees indicated human habitation, and Daryll's keen eyes
spotted it. At twenty-three, he was the younger of Mikhail's two companions, and by
far the more lively minded, always ready with a jest and not in the least intimidated by
Mikhail's position. Mathias, the other Guardsman, was nearly forty, and of a slow and
sober disposition. Mikhail had known him since he was a child, for he was from the
Alton Domain. He knew he could trust them both completely, and was reassured by
their presence, since the feeling of unease he had had along the road seemed to be
getting stronger the closer they came to their journey's end.
They found their way through the trees with difficulty, for there were many fallen
branches on the little path, wood that should have been collected and set to dry for the
coming winter. As they finally
just killing me. I feel as if I have a chest full of broken glass most of the time. I
thought, a few months ago, that I had come home, but now I am starting to doubt it. I
feel as estranged at Arilinn as I did before I came back to Darkover."
"You should have been an actress, Marguerida, because I never suspected how
unhappy you were here."
"Well, there is no help for it, since I don't really want to be a wild telepath. I don't want
to be any sort of telepath at all, frankly. I'd give anything to undo the past. Well, maybe
not anything. I would not give up Mikhail, or you. But it is not enough. I need some
peace, some quiet!"
"You wanted to go to Neskaya, and study with Istvana Ridenow, before you were
persuaded to come to Arilinn. Do you still wish that?"
"If I must be in a Tower, I would rather be with Istvana than anyone. She never makes
me feel as if I have two heads and a tail!"
"Good. I think I can manage that much, daughter. It is the least I can do for you."
Margaret stared at Lew, too astonished to speak for a second. Her heart gave a leap of
delight, of release. Then she steeled herself, afraid that she would be disappointed. It
could not be this easy! "Can you, really?"
Lew looked at her solemnly, but with just the hint of a twinkle in his eyes. "I am not
without influence, you know."
Margaret laughed and then found herself crying again. The sobs rose in her chest,
swelled up into her throat, and broke out of her mouth in spite of her efforts to silence
them. She bent over, holding herself, hugging her arms around her, wailing her grief
and loss. It was a dreadful noise, and she was ashamed of it, but she could not stop,
and Lew made no effort to halt it. Instead, he just sat and waited, as if he understood
how needful it was.
It was completely dark by the time she finally managed to stop weeping, and her face
felt sore. She mopped her cheeks for the hundredth time, blew her nose, and sank back
against the chair, exhausted. And, to her disgust and surprise, hungry. The smell of
dinner wafted through the room, and Katrin appeared in the doorway, a white dab of
flour on her short nose. She looked at Lew, grinned a little, and only said, "I had better
set another place."
Margaret chuckled softly". "One good thing about Dark-over—meals always seem to
appear on time, and frequently."
"Yes, they do. Now go wash your face." He grinned suddenly. "I used to tell you that
on Thetis, didn't I? Your face always seemed to be dirty."
"Yes, Father, you did, and it was. Thank you very much."
"For what?"
"Just thank you." And then she retreated quickly, for the tears were threatening to begin
again. She could not speak all the words that were brimming in her heart, her love for
this man, this father she had so lately discovered. There would, she hoped, be time to
say them, but not with a dirty face and an empty stomach. It would have to keep.
3
Halyn House was so well concealed within a grove of tall trees that Mikhail and his
Guardsmen almost rode by without realizing they had reached their goal. Only a thin
stream of smoke above the trees indicated human habitation, and Daryll's keen eyes
spotted it. At twenty-three, he was the younger of Mikhail's two companions, and by
far the more lively minded, always ready with a jest and not in the least intimidated by
Mikhail's position. Mathias, the other Guardsman, was nearly forty, and of a slow and
sober disposition. Mikhail had known him since he was a child, for he was from the
Alton Domain. He knew he could trust them both completely, and was reassured by
their presence, since the feeling of unease he had had along the road seemed to be
getting stronger the closer they came to their journey's end.
They found their way through the trees with difficulty, for there were many fallen
branches on the little path, wood that should have been collected and set to dry for the
coming winter. As they finally
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