Read Online The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: John Warren, Libby Warren
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mindfuckers and confidence tricksters. Although they are most prevalent online, drawn there by the anonymity of the exchanges, they aren’t a creation of the computer age. Back, as Libby often puts it, “when dinosaurs roamed the Earth,” people in the scene often made contact through classified advertisements. One knowledgeable individual from that era put the percentage of fake advertisements at more than ninety percent.
One fuel for this engine of deception was the reply mechanism. You were expected to send a letter in a sealed envelope with the advertiser’s code number written in pencil on the outside. This was supposed to be accompanied by a fee and a loose stamp. Since the publishers made money from both selling the advertisement and forwarding the reply, many succumbed to the temptation to create false advertisements and simply pocketed the reply fees (and the unattached stamp). Some recent lawsuits indicate that online dating services may be following a similar strategy to run up their numbers, increase advertising fees and tempt more people into becoming paying members.
As Alphonse Karr put it in 1849, “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose,” or “The more things change the more they stay the same.”
A common form of deception is often called “the mindfucker.” Some of these mindfuckers seem have no malevolent intent, but they are simply confused or terrified by what they want. Others are just intentionally cruel.
The most common encounter of this type begins with the exchange of a series of passionate notes or phone calls, in which she or he seems to be everything you ever wanted and more. You get hotter and hotter – and suddenly the contact is broken off. A crueler scenario could have you traveling hundreds and perhaps thousands of miles to have no one waiting for you when you arrive.
There is really no perfect defense from these people. The old saying, “If it seems too good to be real, it is,” applies. Getting as much information about the submissive as possible before committing to any major inconvenience or making any significant commitment is key. However, many genuine submissives are reluctant to give out much information to a relative stranger because there are nuts masquerading as dominants, too. Therefore, you must strike a balance between what you perceive as a risk and what you have as a need.
The same rule applies to the confidence tricksters. However, they generally reveal themselves in their singleminded search for money. The scenario goes like this – she (males are most often the victims here) seems to be your dream partner. There is an exchange of letters and, perhaps, phone calls. She informs you that she wishes to fly to your arms and dungeon, but she doesn’t have the price of a plane ticket. Would you…?
This is not to say that there are no dominants and submissives who are short on traveling money. However, such a request should send up warning flags. Other clues are typed rather than written letters and an inability or unwillingness to phone you. Again, some people find it easier to type personal letters than to write them, and a small percentage truly lacks the ability to send and receive calls. However, caution is called for.
Fortunately, most tricksters who sink to this kind of work are woefully lacking in skill and intelligence. If they were smarter, wouldn’t they have been running an oil company? I have received “personal” letters that were photocopied, unsigned computer-generated letters and “personal” photographs that had been photocopied from bondage magazines. I don’t really object to them trying to trick me. I just wish they had a higher opinion of my intelligence.
These sort of scams have become so common that some online matching services have posted warnings that email asking for money or originating in certain countries, like Nigeria, are to be looked at skeptically.
Blackmailers are more difficult to deal with.
Fortunately, the
One fuel for this engine of deception was the reply mechanism. You were expected to send a letter in a sealed envelope with the advertiser’s code number written in pencil on the outside. This was supposed to be accompanied by a fee and a loose stamp. Since the publishers made money from both selling the advertisement and forwarding the reply, many succumbed to the temptation to create false advertisements and simply pocketed the reply fees (and the unattached stamp). Some recent lawsuits indicate that online dating services may be following a similar strategy to run up their numbers, increase advertising fees and tempt more people into becoming paying members.
As Alphonse Karr put it in 1849, “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose,” or “The more things change the more they stay the same.”
A common form of deception is often called “the mindfucker.” Some of these mindfuckers seem have no malevolent intent, but they are simply confused or terrified by what they want. Others are just intentionally cruel.
The most common encounter of this type begins with the exchange of a series of passionate notes or phone calls, in which she or he seems to be everything you ever wanted and more. You get hotter and hotter – and suddenly the contact is broken off. A crueler scenario could have you traveling hundreds and perhaps thousands of miles to have no one waiting for you when you arrive.
There is really no perfect defense from these people. The old saying, “If it seems too good to be real, it is,” applies. Getting as much information about the submissive as possible before committing to any major inconvenience or making any significant commitment is key. However, many genuine submissives are reluctant to give out much information to a relative stranger because there are nuts masquerading as dominants, too. Therefore, you must strike a balance between what you perceive as a risk and what you have as a need.
The same rule applies to the confidence tricksters. However, they generally reveal themselves in their singleminded search for money. The scenario goes like this – she (males are most often the victims here) seems to be your dream partner. There is an exchange of letters and, perhaps, phone calls. She informs you that she wishes to fly to your arms and dungeon, but she doesn’t have the price of a plane ticket. Would you…?
This is not to say that there are no dominants and submissives who are short on traveling money. However, such a request should send up warning flags. Other clues are typed rather than written letters and an inability or unwillingness to phone you. Again, some people find it easier to type personal letters than to write them, and a small percentage truly lacks the ability to send and receive calls. However, caution is called for.
Fortunately, most tricksters who sink to this kind of work are woefully lacking in skill and intelligence. If they were smarter, wouldn’t they have been running an oil company? I have received “personal” letters that were photocopied, unsigned computer-generated letters and “personal” photographs that had been photocopied from bondage magazines. I don’t really object to them trying to trick me. I just wish they had a higher opinion of my intelligence.
These sort of scams have become so common that some online matching services have posted warnings that email asking for money or originating in certain countries, like Nigeria, are to be looked at skeptically.
Blackmailers are more difficult to deal with.
Fortunately, the
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