Read Online The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren - Free Book Online
Authors: John Warren, Libby Warren
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that.) We’ll talk more about these people in a few pages.
Submissives are looking for someone strong in spirit and confident, someone to whom they can entrust their safety. A seemingly frenzied search does not present these qualities to the onlooker.
Perhaps, the best approach for a dominant to take is presented, somewhat tongue in cheek, in this short parable written on Prodigy by a Midwestern dominant.
Somewhere in the stormy North Atlantic, aboard the USS Dominance:
“Captain…our sonar shows subs lurking in the area.” “Easy, Mr. Libido. We’ll let them come to us.”
“Begging your pardon, Captain, but shouldn’t we be seeking them out?”
“Mr. Libido, you obviously don’t know how the USS Dominance retains its control over the high seas.”
A klaxon horn goes off, and an urgent voice blares from the loudspeaker. “Sub sighted off the starboard bow!”
“All hands, this is Mr. Libido! Man your battle stations! Full speed ahead!”
“Mr. Libido! You will rescind those orders and never dare to overstep your authority on my ship again!”
“Captain, the USS Dominance is a dominant ship!”
“Exactly, Mr. Libido. And as a dominant ship under my command she will stay her course while the sub approaches. Stand down from battle stations. Steady as she goes.”
“Captain, as Executive Officer on this ship I must protest your extraordinarily passive behavior in the presence of a sub.”
“Mr. Libido, protest if you will, but the sub will be handled my way, or it will not be handled at all.”
“Sir, do you mean we will capture it by projecting a calm, secure image on the rough seas?”
“Mr. Libido, continue to learn. One day you will be a captain of a dominant ship yourself.”
Rose, a New York submissive, phrased it this way: “I like a guy who respects himself. He is more likely to respect me and my gift to him. He is more likely to take care of himself, and by extension of me. I like a guy who understands that trust of this depth can only evolve if we take our time.
“Some guys always overdrive their headlights, no matter how rotten the driving conditions. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like to travel fast — only that there is a time and place for that and the beginning is figuring out where all the buttons are and what they do.
“Finally, since this is all about domination and submission, shaping behaviors and pleasing each other, I like a guy who understands at least the rudiments of shaping behavior. Some people are natural-born dominants, masters or trainers, but that doesn’t mean the skills can’t be learned. And there are lots of rules about shaping behavior that apply, no matter whom you’re shaping.”
Making contact
There are various media outlets for avowed dominants and submissives to seek each other out: newspapers, magazines, the Internet, clubs and associations.
Whatever the medium, the method is to give and gain trust, for a dominant must earn the trust of a submissive by being trusting, while keeping alert for those who are flying false colors. Submissives look for this trust in an attempt to separate us from the nonconsensual sadists and those who would do them harm. Unfortunately, there are those among them who would use this trust to hurt us.
Because of this danger, it is a good idea not to reveal too much about yourself during initial contacts. This, naturally, is directly at odds with the need to give trust. It is a delicate balance, not susceptible to easy solution.
It’s also good to keep a sense of humor. This may not seem easy when you feel as if your beating heart has been ripped from your chest by some bastard or bitch, but life goes on. It’s important to keep both the victories and defeats in proportion.
Without going into details, I’ll draw an illustration from my own life when things looked extremely black, so black in fact that I was sitting on my porch looking at a shotgun and debating using it to end the pain. As I sat there, I
Submissives are looking for someone strong in spirit and confident, someone to whom they can entrust their safety. A seemingly frenzied search does not present these qualities to the onlooker.
Perhaps, the best approach for a dominant to take is presented, somewhat tongue in cheek, in this short parable written on Prodigy by a Midwestern dominant.
Somewhere in the stormy North Atlantic, aboard the USS Dominance:
“Captain…our sonar shows subs lurking in the area.” “Easy, Mr. Libido. We’ll let them come to us.”
“Begging your pardon, Captain, but shouldn’t we be seeking them out?”
“Mr. Libido, you obviously don’t know how the USS Dominance retains its control over the high seas.”
A klaxon horn goes off, and an urgent voice blares from the loudspeaker. “Sub sighted off the starboard bow!”
“All hands, this is Mr. Libido! Man your battle stations! Full speed ahead!”
“Mr. Libido! You will rescind those orders and never dare to overstep your authority on my ship again!”
“Captain, the USS Dominance is a dominant ship!”
“Exactly, Mr. Libido. And as a dominant ship under my command she will stay her course while the sub approaches. Stand down from battle stations. Steady as she goes.”
“Captain, as Executive Officer on this ship I must protest your extraordinarily passive behavior in the presence of a sub.”
“Mr. Libido, protest if you will, but the sub will be handled my way, or it will not be handled at all.”
“Sir, do you mean we will capture it by projecting a calm, secure image on the rough seas?”
“Mr. Libido, continue to learn. One day you will be a captain of a dominant ship yourself.”
Rose, a New York submissive, phrased it this way: “I like a guy who respects himself. He is more likely to respect me and my gift to him. He is more likely to take care of himself, and by extension of me. I like a guy who understands that trust of this depth can only evolve if we take our time.
“Some guys always overdrive their headlights, no matter how rotten the driving conditions. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like to travel fast — only that there is a time and place for that and the beginning is figuring out where all the buttons are and what they do.
“Finally, since this is all about domination and submission, shaping behaviors and pleasing each other, I like a guy who understands at least the rudiments of shaping behavior. Some people are natural-born dominants, masters or trainers, but that doesn’t mean the skills can’t be learned. And there are lots of rules about shaping behavior that apply, no matter whom you’re shaping.”
Making contact
There are various media outlets for avowed dominants and submissives to seek each other out: newspapers, magazines, the Internet, clubs and associations.
Whatever the medium, the method is to give and gain trust, for a dominant must earn the trust of a submissive by being trusting, while keeping alert for those who are flying false colors. Submissives look for this trust in an attempt to separate us from the nonconsensual sadists and those who would do them harm. Unfortunately, there are those among them who would use this trust to hurt us.
Because of this danger, it is a good idea not to reveal too much about yourself during initial contacts. This, naturally, is directly at odds with the need to give trust. It is a delicate balance, not susceptible to easy solution.
It’s also good to keep a sense of humor. This may not seem easy when you feel as if your beating heart has been ripped from your chest by some bastard or bitch, but life goes on. It’s important to keep both the victories and defeats in proportion.
Without going into details, I’ll draw an illustration from my own life when things looked extremely black, so black in fact that I was sitting on my porch looking at a shotgun and debating using it to end the pain. As I sat there, I
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