Read Online The Last Thing You See by Emma South - Free Book Online

her off before or something.  Then I remember…”
    A sob shook my body as all the old fear, the horror , of the memory hit me again.  My throat became a wary border control agent for words, taking every ounce of effort I had to force them through between each hitching breath.
    “I remember she… she said… she just looked at me and said… she said…”
    “Harper.  Just breathe.”
    Nick was turned on his side facing me, his hand resting on the hood of the car between us to steady himself.  I grabbed it like a life preserver and sat up, turning my body around to face him and eventually slowing my breathing to the same pace as his.
    “She looked at me and said ‘No wonder your parents didn’t want you’.  That’s my first memory.”
    The eye of the storm passed, and I burst into uncontrollable sobs again until Nick pulled me into a hug and I cried myself empty right there on the hood of my car.  By the time I was done, I felt dizzy like I was mildly drunk without any of the upsides.  My head was resting in the crook of his arm and his other hand was carefully stroking my hair, tucking errant strands behind my ear when the breeze tore them free.
    “That’s the first thing I knew about myself.   I was trash, so bad my own parents didn’t even want me.  All the other kids I knew in the home got chosen by adoptive parents before me, and by the time the Bayliss family came along, I literally didn’t know anybody at all.  I don’t know what they saw in me, I just sat there not even speaking when they first visited.  I didn’t know what laughing was.”
    “Harper, you’re…”
    “I was so grateful to them for getting me out of there, but it sticks with you, you know?”
    “I know.”
    “So a few years go by and, hey, why not audition for Princess Sundancer?  They’re remaking this movie that flopped a while back, what’s the worst that can happen?  Every seven-year-old girl wants to be a fairy princess, right?”
    “That’s my understanding,” said Nick.
    “So I get the role, and I remember thinking 'has the director gone crazy?'  I haven’t even had any acting lessons yet, but with my two years of ballet, the director thinks I have the right look to pull off the fairy princess who gets cursed by a witch and forgets the magic word and forgets the magic dance that makes the sun shine on the kingdom.”
    “Kazoosh!” said Nick.
    “Ah, you saw it?”
    “A long time ago now, yeah.”
    “The magic word was supposed to be ‘Rizam!’ but I came up with my own magic word and the director liked it better,” I said.
    “Rizam?  Blech.”
    “Then the movie does alright, way better than the critics predicted anyway.  I got a few more parts, a few more, taking lessons the whole time.  Then I was in The Last Perfect Day, and it was a legitimate blockbuster, and everything changed.  Suddenly I couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized, like, anywhere in the developed world it seemed.  People scream my name, red carpets are laid out, photo shoots, interviews, autographs, live chatrooms, script readings, auditions.  It hasn't stopped since that movie.  I try so hard and now it’s like everybody wants me.”  I looked up at Nick for a second and then back down again.  “But my first memory is always there.  It’s why I’ll always be scared that none of this is real.  How could it be real when my own parents didn’t want me?  It’s all a trick, right?”
    “Do you want it to be real?” he asked.
    “Some of it.”
    “It’s a shame we can’t choose.”
    Nick propped himself up on his elbow, my head still resting on his arm, and leaned over me.  His face was dim in the darkness with the stars and moon behind him, except for his eyes that were still visibly blue even in the low light.  He was so close that I could feel the warm puffs of his breath on my skin.
    “Harper, maybe you’ve been giving so much for so long you don’t even realize it anymore, but you’re about