Read Online The Last Thing You See by Emma South - Free Book Online Page B

questions with apologies and the training.
    It made me doubt everything I’d seen, heard, and felt that night, everything I’d felt since I met him.  I couldn’t have been that bad at kissing. I mean, nobody had ever complained before.
    For me, it had been the most romantic few seconds of my life. I’d never been able to open up like that to anybody else.  Despite my doubts, every fiber of my being was screaming out to feel that way again, to not let something like that slip through my fingers.  If only Nick would let it happen.
    “Again,” he said.
    I grabbed the right cuff of his jacket with my left hand, hooked my left leg over the top of his arm, and moved my right leg so that my shin was sideways against his belly, then hooked my right arm under his left knee, kicked out with my left leg, and pushed with my right leg.  The combination of movements rolled us to my left and we ended up with him flat on his back and me crouching over him with one knee on his stomach.
    “Good!  Now, from here you could just punch me in the face mercilessly, which would look great, but look where your shin is, right on my bicep with my forearm trapped behind your knee.  You’re basically in position for a biceps slicer.  It’s brutal, but most people wouldn’t know the kind of damage you’re doing, so maybe not any good for your movie.”
    “Hmm,” I said, my mind elsewhere.
    Nick looked at the clock and then back to me.  “Looks like we’re out of time.”
    I sighed.  “I guess so.”
    I stood and Nick rolled to the side, off the mats, and regained his feet near the wall.  All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, rest my head against his chest, and feel him hug me back.  I looked away before I just embraced him on impulse, afraid he’d push me away.
    “I’m gonna get going, Harper,” he said.
    I turned back to him.  “Can you wait until after I’ve changed?  I need to talk to you.”
    “Harper… I can’t do…”
    “OK, just listen.  I don’t know what happened the other night, but it hurts.  You understand that?”
    “I don’t want…”
    “I know.  You don’t want me to be hurt, but I am.  I poured my heart out to you, Nick.  You think I tell that to everybody?”
    “No, I…”
    “I tell it to nobody .  Who could I tell?  I can’t talk to my family, I can’t make them feel like I’m ungrateful for everything they did.  If I talked to somebody else, it would probably go straight to the gossip magazines.  Do you know how it felt like to finally have somebody to talk to?”
    Nick looked down at his hands, idly working at the knot on his belt.  “Yes, I do,” he said quietly.
    “This isn’t you, Nick.  It would be too easy to pretend like you don’t feel anything, a big tough ex-Marine, all tattoos and scars, who doesn’t care about anything anymore.  But I know you do.”
    It was almost too quick to spot, but when I said ‘scars’, I saw him flinch and then tug his rash vest down to make sure his stomach was completely covered.  I furrowed my brow.
    “I see you under there, Nick.  I’d be crazy to not want you in my life, to paraphrase one of my favorite people.”
    Nick smiled unhappily, still looking down.
    “But I don’t want to be hurt.  I can handle it if you don’t want to be with me, I can even take things as slow as you need.  I can’t live with the idea that we didn’t give it a chance if it’s what we both wanted.”
    Nick raised his eyes to meet mine, the fear in them so out of place in a man his size, with his strength, with his background.  I could understand that though.  There’s no training in existence to make you immune to the pain you risk when you give somebody your heart.
    “So what’s it gonna be?” I asked.  “You wanna give us a shot?”
    My words hung out there all alone for a few seconds and I thought he might just let them drop without an answer.  He closed his eyes, a little longer than a blink, and then looked at me. I