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as close to perfect as it gets.  It’s not because you’re so beautiful and it’s not because you’re so talented, although you are both of those things.  It’s because you care so much about the people around you.  You can’t fake that, and it’s not a matter of how hard you try to care, it’s just who you are, you can’t help it.  Just don’t forget to care for yourself sometimes too.  I think anybody who didn’t want you in their life is crazy.  They lost out on something special.”
    At that moment, of all the things in the world I wanted to be real, I wanted Nick to be real the most.  It was hard to believe I was here, at the place I usually only came alone to, with somebody like him.
    There was more to him than a sexy bad boy exterior, more than the muscle-bound villain I’d thought of when I first saw him.  So much more.  I brought my hand up along his strong back, to the rear of his neck, and gently stroked there with my fingers as I looked into his eyes.
    Our lips could only have been a couple of inches apart. Under my hand, I could feel Nick shivering in anticipation or some kind of self-restraint that was barely holding up under the pressure.  After pouring my heart out I felt like it was filling up with something else, something better, and a voice just kept repeating in my mind kissmekissmekissme .
    “Kiss me,” I said.  And he did.
    Nick closed the distance and I tilted my head, waiting until the last moment to shut my eyes as his lips touched mine.  I pulled him harder against me, and his hand slid up my cheek to bury itself in my hair as we kissed even deeper.
    Our lips parted for a moment with a wet sound and a quick pant from me, then found each other again.  From behind my closed eyelids, Nick felt like a huge strong presence just above me.  He was the source of that something that was filling up my heart, which was pounding as hard as it ever had in my whole life.
    My job made me an expert in fake kisses, and this wasn’t one of them.  This was real, I was sure of it.  I moved my hand to the bottom of his shirt and slid it underneath, feeling the hard curves of his abs, the line of one of his scars.
    Our lips came apart again and I let out a shivery breath of excitement. Feeling his bare skin under my fingertips at last was magic.  Real magic that made it feel like the sun was coming up and shining on me for the first time.
    Then the hood of the car made a loud, metallic crumpling sound, and I felt it move under us as our weight finally seemed to put a dent in it.  It startled me a little, but the effect it had on Nick couldn’t have been more dramatic if a gunshot had suddenly gone off.
    He gasped as if in panic and pushed my hand away, leaping off the car and standing next to it, facing away from me as I scrambled to a sitting position.  I looked around wildly for some kind of danger but saw none.
    “What is…” I began.
    “I’m sorry,” he said.
    “It’s OK.  We’ll pop the hood and push it out from the other side, no harm no…”
    “No.” He turned around and moved his hand back and forth in his direction and mine.  “This.  I’m sorry about this.  I can’t.  We need to go.”
    “What are you…”
    But he was already walking back to the gate.

Chapter 12: Harper
    You don’t know the meaning of ‘awkward’ until there’s a man between your legs who apparently really doesn’t want to be there.  I wasn’t sure if Nick would want to continue training me in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but he did eventually confirm by replying to my messages.
    Now Nick was in my ‘guard’, which meant that I was on my back, he was kneeling between my legs, and my legs were wrapped around his waist.  It hurt to have him so near and yet so far.
    Physically he was near, but mentally he seemed to have put up some walls and was doing his level best to maintain them.  I tried to talk to him about the night at the lookout, to find out what I did wrong, but he avoided the