Read Online The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel by Joseph Torchia - Free Book Online

become one and so I gave it to him. And you know what, Superman? She thought that was real nice. She really did. She even smiled at me which she never did before. And then she asked me who I gave it to? And I said it’s a secret. And she said maybe she could go talk to him and help him become a Catholic so who is it? And I said I better not tell you. And she stopped smiling  and she said I might go to Hell because maybe she might be able to save him and I’ll stop her SO TELL ME, JEROME! So I knew it’d be just as bad if I didn’t tell her as if I did tell her. So I told her. And that’s why the rest of this story is just like the other ones only I didn’t cry, Superman. So maybe I’m getting used to it. Or else maybe I’m getting Super like you. I sure hope so.
      
YOUR FRIEND JERRY and Robert
      
    PS: We’ve been looking pretty close at the comicbooks and we even got a magnifying glass that Robert’s brother Bruno uses for his coin collection. And it don’t look like your Thing is very Super but I can’t really tell since you always wear a swimming suit over your leotards. And so is it? I told Robert it MUST be but we’re not very sure.
      

      
    Dear Man of Steel,
      
    Yesterday in Religion class Sister Mary Justin said men are better than women because Eve listened to The Devil first when he pretended to be a snake. And then Adam listened to Eve. And so they both got in trouble. And that’s why women aren’t good enough to be priests and so they have to be nunns. And that’s why girls can’t be alterboys. And that’s why God had a son and not a daughter. And that’s why God the Father isn’t God the Mother. And I don’t know what the Holy Ghost is because Sister Mary Justin said he’s a bird and not a person. But you know what I’m beginning to think, Superman?
    I’m beginning to think that Things must be more importent than anything else. Even souls. Because women  are allowed to have souls too. I think. And you know what else I think? I think the BIGGER your Thing is then the stronger you are. I mean, look at women—they don’t have any Thing and that’s why they’re so weak. And look at my dad. His Thing is a LOT bigger than Buster’s and that’s why he’s stronger. And Buster’s Thing is bigger than mine and that’s why he’s stronger. And so your Thing must be the BIGGEST Thing in the world, Superman, because you’re stronger than ANYBODY.
    That’s why we’re sending you Robert’s ruler. I already sent you my Catechism and so now it’s Robert’s turn to send you something. What we want you to do is measure it and then tell us how long it is. And if one ruler isn’t enough then you’ll have to buy another one. Or maybe you could get a yard stick. Anyway, if you tell me how long it is then I’ll know how long I have to wait until I become SUPER like you. I hope it won’t be very long. Goodby.
      
Your BEST friends,
JERRY CHARIOT and ROBERT
      
    PS: I measured mine last night and it’s a inch and another little line. That’s pretty good isn’t it?
      
      
      
    DEAR SUPERMAN,
      
    The other day on Monday I asked Mrs. Bacchio if she thought Superman was a Catholic and she thought about it for a while. And then she smiled. And then she said I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE, BUT I GUESS IT’S POSSIBLE.
    And I said WELL WOULD YOU WANT HIM TO BE A CATHOLIC OR WOULDN’T YOU?
    And she said I THINK THAT WOULD BE NICE.
    And I said SO DO I AND SO DOES ROBERT.
    And Robert said AND SO DOES GOD.
    And she laughed and said YES, HE PROBABLY DOES.
    And so I don’t care what the other kids say because I’m GLAD I sent you my Catechism, Superman. And I think it’s too bad that Mrs. Bacchio is a woman because I really like her a LOT. And so does Robert Sipanno. And we think God should of created Mrs. Bacchio instead of Eve because then Adam probly wouldn’t of got in all that trouble. But I guess Adam and Mrs.