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said, raising her hand. “I know this is a shock, but that’s unfair.”
    â€œUm, not really,” Marianne snorted, looking at hermom in disbelief. “How long have you known each other?”
    â€œI can understand it’s a lot to take in,” Helena said hurriedly. “But we really do love each other.”
    â€œI have only said two words to Anna, if that—let alone to her dad!” Marianne looked exasperated. “Can’t you be normal and let me get to know someone before you marry them? This is just like Rodney all over again.”
    Rodney Jenson, the man I assumed Marianne was referring to, was the second husband of Helena and a director. They had met while filming and married after dating for a year. It had ended after three months when he’d had an affair with the lead in his next film.
    Or so the papers claimed anyway.
    â€œIt is not like that time,” Helena said, suddenly very serious.
    â€œWhy are you always rushing into things?” Marianne demanded.
    â€œI’m not always rushing into things,” Helena said in a strained voice. “Neither Nick nor myself are spring chickens, darling. I’ve never felt this way before and, well, it just seems right.”
    Marianne let out a loud “Ha!” and swept her glossy hair over her shoulder in dismay. Dad and Helena both turned anxiously to me. I was trying to think of something appropriateto say or do other than running around the room waving my arms about and shouting, “WHAT THE . . . ? I’M SO CONFUSED! I JUST WANT TO HIDE UNDER MY BLANKETS FOR A MOMENT WHILE I WORK OUT WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON. I HATE EVERYONE.”
    Since that probably wasn’t an option, and Marianne had already done the “beautifully glossy but ticked off” response, I decided to go down the sensible and mature route.
    Despite the shock announcement, my burning chin was still a reminder of my earlier comment, and I wanted to give some impression of being a normal human being.
    â€œLet’s just all sit down and discuss this like grown-ups,” I said eventually in a way I imagined someone sensible and mature might do, and took a step backward toward the sofa.
    Unfortunately, I misjudged where the sofa was and instead backed into a side table. I stumbled and grabbed on to a lamp to regain my balance, but my foot got caught. As I fell backward, the lamp came down with me, causing a deafening crash.
    â€¢Â Â â€¢Â Â â€¢
    â€œLet me get this straight,” Danny interrupted at this point in the painful recollection. “You fell over. Onto your back. Flat out. In front of Helena and Marianne Montaine.”
    I nodded gravely.
    â€œThen what happened?” Jess breathed, enraptured by the whole affair.
    â€œIt got worse,” I sighed.
    â€¢Â Â â€¢Â Â â€¢
    Helena and Dad rushed over to help me up. They both made a fuss, sitting me down in the big armchair and asking if my arm hurt. Marianne excused herself to get some fresh air outside. Just before she stalked out through the door, she gave me a look that I could only translate as disbelief. Disbelief, I imagine, that she and I would soon become members of the same family.
    She stepped out of the front door while Dad went to make some tea and Helena sat on the sofa quietly next to me.
    All I could do was stare at her in shock. Eventually she actually had to say, “Anna, are you all right? You’re making me feel slightly uncomfortable.”
    I didn’t want to say that I was all right, because I wasn’t, but I also didn’t want to make the famous actress sitting on my sofa feel uncomfortable. So I decided that instead of staring at her I would stare at the lamp that I had fallen over with. We sat in silence.
    After an ice age, Dad came in with the tray of tea. Marianne also came back in and joined in with the silencethat was encapsulating the room. Her hair was slightly more