my throat, the air between us too thick to swallow.
“You have no idea how badly I want to track down that guy and make him pay for what he did to you...for treating you that way.”
His words knocked me back from the physical response flooding my body, and I frowned at him. “How is that any different than what you do?”
He blinked a couple times and hefted the air from his lungs. Our faces were so close, I felt it rush across my face. “Maybe there’s no difference...I don’t know...” He angled a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. “But I’ve never told anyone I loved them or that I wanted to be with them so they’d have sex with me. I can’t tell you how angry it makes me that he did that to you.”
A tremor rolled through him, something palpable, more than jealousy. I knew it then. He truly did care about me. This friendship was as real as I felt it was. Yeah, there was more to it, this simmering attraction that I didn’t know how much longer we could ignore.
Christian abruptly withdrew his leg and edged back in his chair.
Because we both understood it. The connection we shared was too important to ruin it by giving into the physical.
I faked a smile. “It’s fine...really, I’m over it. It was for the best. Believe me.”
~
Time passed so quickly. Before I could make sense of it, November had come, along with it, the approaching winter that had ushered in a new feel in the air.
Christian had become a mainstay in my life, my closest friend, the one who I felt securest with. He was a comfort that wrapped around my body and spread all the way to my bones whenever he was near.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Christian from where I sat lengthwise on his couch. With my back propped up against the arm and my knees bent, I rested my bare feet on the soft suede of the cushions and balanced my calculus book on my thighs.
Christian’s apartment was so much more comfortable than mine, and we’d taken to studying here. A decent-sized kitchen sat off to the left of the entrance, and the dining nook and living room took up the rest of the open space. Down a small hall to the back was his bedroom and bath. Where my apartment had one small window over my bed, Christian’s apartment was open, two windows in his living room and one in his bedroom, something that felt like a total luxury. During the day it was brighter in here, a natural warmth flooding the room as rays of light slanted in from between the buildings on the opposite side of the street. And at night...I loved it here at night. Lights seeped in, boasting the city and everything it had to offer. Horns blared and voices rose from the sidewalk below.
Christian’s couch had become my spot, and I relished in it now, snuggled against the plush fabric as I tried to maintain focus on my homework.
He sat on the floor, his legs stretched out beneath the coffee table and his back against the sofa. That head of black hair teased me from where it rested just at the juncture of where I had my knees bent. Tonight it was all over the place, sticking up in every direction. His hands continually came up to rush through it as if he were frustrated—probably because he was. If I wanted to, I could reach out and touch , run my fingers through the softness. I could only imagine how his head would tilt back in undeniable pleasure, could almost hear a low rumble emitted from deep within his chest, how the sound would vibrate up my arm and cover me whole.
My hand twitched.
Sometimes that desire was so great I almost gave in to it, but we both always pushed it aside because the friendship we shared was so much greater than any fleeting attraction could ever be.
We studied together almost every night, but it wasn’t uncommon for us to get distracted, many times talking into the deep hours of the night about everything and anything. While we were so much the same, there was also so much between us that was different—the way we
“You have no idea how badly I want to track down that guy and make him pay for what he did to you...for treating you that way.”
His words knocked me back from the physical response flooding my body, and I frowned at him. “How is that any different than what you do?”
He blinked a couple times and hefted the air from his lungs. Our faces were so close, I felt it rush across my face. “Maybe there’s no difference...I don’t know...” He angled a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. “But I’ve never told anyone I loved them or that I wanted to be with them so they’d have sex with me. I can’t tell you how angry it makes me that he did that to you.”
A tremor rolled through him, something palpable, more than jealousy. I knew it then. He truly did care about me. This friendship was as real as I felt it was. Yeah, there was more to it, this simmering attraction that I didn’t know how much longer we could ignore.
Christian abruptly withdrew his leg and edged back in his chair.
Because we both understood it. The connection we shared was too important to ruin it by giving into the physical.
I faked a smile. “It’s fine...really, I’m over it. It was for the best. Believe me.”
~
Time passed so quickly. Before I could make sense of it, November had come, along with it, the approaching winter that had ushered in a new feel in the air.
Christian had become a mainstay in my life, my closest friend, the one who I felt securest with. He was a comfort that wrapped around my body and spread all the way to my bones whenever he was near.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Christian from where I sat lengthwise on his couch. With my back propped up against the arm and my knees bent, I rested my bare feet on the soft suede of the cushions and balanced my calculus book on my thighs.
Christian’s apartment was so much more comfortable than mine, and we’d taken to studying here. A decent-sized kitchen sat off to the left of the entrance, and the dining nook and living room took up the rest of the open space. Down a small hall to the back was his bedroom and bath. Where my apartment had one small window over my bed, Christian’s apartment was open, two windows in his living room and one in his bedroom, something that felt like a total luxury. During the day it was brighter in here, a natural warmth flooding the room as rays of light slanted in from between the buildings on the opposite side of the street. And at night...I loved it here at night. Lights seeped in, boasting the city and everything it had to offer. Horns blared and voices rose from the sidewalk below.
Christian’s couch had become my spot, and I relished in it now, snuggled against the plush fabric as I tried to maintain focus on my homework.
He sat on the floor, his legs stretched out beneath the coffee table and his back against the sofa. That head of black hair teased me from where it rested just at the juncture of where I had my knees bent. Tonight it was all over the place, sticking up in every direction. His hands continually came up to rush through it as if he were frustrated—probably because he was. If I wanted to, I could reach out and touch , run my fingers through the softness. I could only imagine how his head would tilt back in undeniable pleasure, could almost hear a low rumble emitted from deep within his chest, how the sound would vibrate up my arm and cover me whole.
My hand twitched.
Sometimes that desire was so great I almost gave in to it, but we both always pushed it aside because the friendship we shared was so much greater than any fleeting attraction could ever be.
We studied together almost every night, but it wasn’t uncommon for us to get distracted, many times talking into the deep hours of the night about everything and anything. While we were so much the same, there was also so much between us that was different—the way we
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