looked at life and our goals for the future. Streaks of selfishness were so blatantly obvious in some of Christian’s words, the things he would say that would take me aback, reminding me of how distinctly different we were.
But here in this place, with Christian on the floor and me on his couch, those things couldn’t touch us. I settled into that safety, this place that was ours, where Christian was comfortable enough to put all those pretenses aside.
Christian groaned from the floor and his head dropped back onto my leg. He cut his blue eyes my direction. “This sucks ass.”
“What sucks?” I trained my attention on my book in front of me and kept writing, pretending I didn’t love the way he felt against me, that I didn’t savor in the slight pressure that slipped through my jeans and caressed my skin, that I didn’t love the sound of his voice even when it projected the most ridiculous words.
I already knew what was coming.
“This class sucks, is what.” A mischievous grin lighted at the edge of his lips. “Seriously, when do they think we’re ever going to use any of this garbage? It’s a complete waste of time.”
I laughed and nudged him with my leg. His body rocked a little then settled farther against mine. “Don’t you know that’s what college is about...students spending years gathering useless information they’ll never use again, going hopelessly into debt, just so they feel smarter than the rest of their family? I mean, that’s why I worked so hard to get here, anyway.” Sarcasm rolled off my tongue. He was such a whiner. For being one of the smartest guys I knew, he sure found a way to complain about every subject, every night. I subtly rolled my eyes. Clearly, he liked the sound of his voice as much as I did.
One side of his mouth tipped up with the cutest smile that perfectly matched the tilt of his head. “Fine, it’s not useless .” He reached up and pinched my thigh. “But right now, I can’t think of a single time in my life when I’m going to use it.”
A vain attempt was made at ignoring the heat spreading up my leg. “Quit complaining. You’re going to kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.”
This time he really laughed. It vibrated through the cushions and crawled across my skin. I tried to hold in the smile, tried to memorize the way it made me feel.
From the top of the coffee table, the sharp ring of Christian’s phone sliced into the room.
Of course, Christian’s phone rang constantly. I was never so blunt to ask who was calling, found I’d rather not know if it was some girl on the line. The truth was, I didn’t want to know anywhere he went or what he did once he walked me back to my apartment each night. He had no obligation to me, but that didn’t mean I could stomach knowing who he was running off to jump in bed with the second I was out of his sight.
Glancing at the screen, he lifted his face to the ceiling and exhaled heavily before he answered. “Hello.”
These were the only times when I paid attention, when I turned my ear to the conversation happening beside me. I listened when they caused Christian’s shoulders to sag and sucked his light from the room. I was disgusted by it. His parent’s pressures were so ingrained in him, held him hostage in a place I was sure Christian didn’t even know he was a prisoner. Every time they called, it was the same, never questioning how he was but what he had done, what he had achieved, pushed him some more. I’d slowly begun to hate them, resenting them for forcing their son toward something that was so obviously holding him back. Christian insisted this was what he wanted for his life, and I knew part of him truly did want to be an attorney, but I could clearly see striving toward his father’s goals for him was more of a burden than a blessing.
“Hi, Dad.”
Through the phone, I could hear his father start right into him. The words were muffled, but a clear hostile coercion.
“Yeah, I got
But here in this place, with Christian on the floor and me on his couch, those things couldn’t touch us. I settled into that safety, this place that was ours, where Christian was comfortable enough to put all those pretenses aside.
Christian groaned from the floor and his head dropped back onto my leg. He cut his blue eyes my direction. “This sucks ass.”
“What sucks?” I trained my attention on my book in front of me and kept writing, pretending I didn’t love the way he felt against me, that I didn’t savor in the slight pressure that slipped through my jeans and caressed my skin, that I didn’t love the sound of his voice even when it projected the most ridiculous words.
I already knew what was coming.
“This class sucks, is what.” A mischievous grin lighted at the edge of his lips. “Seriously, when do they think we’re ever going to use any of this garbage? It’s a complete waste of time.”
I laughed and nudged him with my leg. His body rocked a little then settled farther against mine. “Don’t you know that’s what college is about...students spending years gathering useless information they’ll never use again, going hopelessly into debt, just so they feel smarter than the rest of their family? I mean, that’s why I worked so hard to get here, anyway.” Sarcasm rolled off my tongue. He was such a whiner. For being one of the smartest guys I knew, he sure found a way to complain about every subject, every night. I subtly rolled my eyes. Clearly, he liked the sound of his voice as much as I did.
One side of his mouth tipped up with the cutest smile that perfectly matched the tilt of his head. “Fine, it’s not useless .” He reached up and pinched my thigh. “But right now, I can’t think of a single time in my life when I’m going to use it.”
A vain attempt was made at ignoring the heat spreading up my leg. “Quit complaining. You’re going to kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.”
This time he really laughed. It vibrated through the cushions and crawled across my skin. I tried to hold in the smile, tried to memorize the way it made me feel.
From the top of the coffee table, the sharp ring of Christian’s phone sliced into the room.
Of course, Christian’s phone rang constantly. I was never so blunt to ask who was calling, found I’d rather not know if it was some girl on the line. The truth was, I didn’t want to know anywhere he went or what he did once he walked me back to my apartment each night. He had no obligation to me, but that didn’t mean I could stomach knowing who he was running off to jump in bed with the second I was out of his sight.
Glancing at the screen, he lifted his face to the ceiling and exhaled heavily before he answered. “Hello.”
These were the only times when I paid attention, when I turned my ear to the conversation happening beside me. I listened when they caused Christian’s shoulders to sag and sucked his light from the room. I was disgusted by it. His parent’s pressures were so ingrained in him, held him hostage in a place I was sure Christian didn’t even know he was a prisoner. Every time they called, it was the same, never questioning how he was but what he had done, what he had achieved, pushed him some more. I’d slowly begun to hate them, resenting them for forcing their son toward something that was so obviously holding him back. Christian insisted this was what he wanted for his life, and I knew part of him truly did want to be an attorney, but I could clearly see striving toward his father’s goals for him was more of a burden than a blessing.
“Hi, Dad.”
Through the phone, I could hear his father start right into him. The words were muffled, but a clear hostile coercion.
“Yeah, I got
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