Read Online The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz by Ron Jeremy - Free Book Online

idea what to do next. Should I touch her? Wait for her to touch me first? I looked at Samantha and managed a feeble smile. She laughed at my tentativeness and shoved me to the ground.
    “Don’t worry, kid,” she said. “I promise I’ll be gentle.”
    She grabbed my boner and gave it a few strokes. It was more of a friendly hello than anything overtly sexual. But as soon as the cameras began rolling, her mouth dived onto it and began sucking like a category 5 hurricane. It felt amazing, but my attention kept drifting over to the crew members, who were hovering over us on all sides. It was impossible to concentrate with so many eyes on me, and within a matter of minutes, my erection had disappeared.
    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
    “It’s okay,” Samantha said, letting my flaccid penis fall out of her mouth.
    “This doesn’t usually happen, I swear.”
    “How can we help?” the director asked. If he was annoyed by my inability to perform, he wasn’t letting on. He voice was calm and encouraging. “Do you want to go see the fluffer again, or would—?”
    I jumped up and ran toward the stairs like somebody was chasing me. “Yes, thanks, that’d be great,” I said, all but pushing a cameraman out of the way.
    When I got upstairs, Christie was already working on the next guy. He looked up at me with panic in his eyes, probably assuming that it was his turn to perform.
    “Listen, I hate to be a bother,” I said, “but do you mind if I borrow her for a minute?”
    “Excuse me?” he said.
    I pulled Christie to her feet and dragged her out of the room.
    “Just five minutes and then I swear, she’s all yours.”
    We found an empty bedroom and Christie started blowing me again. But it wasn’t working this time. I kept thinking about all the cameramen and gaffers and grips and makeup people downstairs, waiting for me and expecting me to come waltzing in with an erection that could cut glass. I needed something a little more intense to put me in the right mind-set.
    “Can I ask a favor?” I said to Christie. “Would you be offended if I ate you out a little?”
    “Sure,” she said with a shrug, “knock yourself out.”
    I know this may surprise you, but I’ve always preferred giving head to receiving it. There’s nothing I enjoy more than being face-deep in a woman’s snatch. And though this may sound like bragging, I’m very good at it. Maybe it’s because I like to eat. Vagina, lasagna, whatever.
    It was working. My penis was beginning to show signs of life. Just to be on the safe side, I stood up and rubbed it against her pussy. I didn’t insert it, just rubbed the tip against her lips. That was another technique of mine, which I’d been using since my teens. There was a time when girls called me Ron “Just the Tip” Jeremy. It’s not as penetrating as actual sex, and I’ve found that it’s the perfect way to get a girl nice and wet, because you’re rubbing the clitoris under the hood.
    Sometimes, when I was about to have actual sex (often anal), a girl would say, “I don’t know if this will work,” or “You’re too big.”
    “How big is your boyfriend?” I’d ask.
    “Six inches.”
    “Fine. I’ll only put in four.”
    It worked every time. And the excitement of just being in the vicinity of a vagina was usually enough to make me hornier than a dog in heat.
    Though my erection was as stiff as could be expected, I wanted to be sure. No point in returning to the set only to go limp again. Perhaps something a bit more adventurous would ensure that my boner stayed at attention.
    “Do you mind if we screw?” I asked Christie. “Just a stroke or two?”
    “Sure,” she said, with enough enthusiasm to let me know that she wasn’t just being polite.
    “Want to just ride me?”
    “Sure,” she said. She threw me to the bed and jumped on top of me, slipping my cock inside her without the slightest hesitation.
    It was at that exact moment that a PA came barging into the room. “Are