Read Online The Harder I Fall by Jessica Gibson - Free Book Online

was the worst part. I kept wondering what I was going to say to him when they brought him in. I sat on a cold metal bench waiting for what felt like forever. When they finally brought him out, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He had grown since the last time I’d seen him; he was taller than me now when we used to be eye to eye.
    “Don’t cry,” he whispered from across the table.
    “Chad…” I choked out his name. “I’m so sorry.”
    “This isn’t your fault. I made my own choices.”
    “Why? Why were you using?”
    “I wasn’t. I was going to sell them. I needed the money. The bank is going to take the house. Mom was laid off pretty much right after you left. The unemployment doesn’t cover much more than food for us. Well, and her booze. I just thought... I just thought that I could maybe help and that she wouldn’t be so sad anymore.”
    “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on? I could have come home to help.” I knew mom had been lying to me for years about money. Things were worse than I could have imagined.
    He shook his head. “You’re right where you need to be, Becs. I’m sorry that you had to come home to deal with this mess.”
    “Chad, I’m always here for you. No matter what, it’s you and me. I’m going to get you out of here as soon as I can.”
    We talked for a few more minutes before the guard came back and told Chad his time was up. “I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” I hugged him for as long as we were allowed. “Be safe.”
    I sobbed as I watched him be led back out of the room in handcuffs. No fifteen-year-old boy should have to go through this.
    I didn’t even remember getting my things and walking back out to Levi; I was so lost in my own misery. He had me in his arms as soon as I was through the doors. He crushed me against him and stroked my hair as I cried. “Come on, let’s go somewhere else and talk.” We walked back out to the car with his arm draped around my shoulders protectively.
    “What happened?” he asked gently when we were sitting in the car.
    “He wasn't using, only selling. The worst part is that he was doing it to help my mom. They’re going to lose the house since my mom lost her job. I’m going to drop out of college and come home. He shouldn’t have to shoulder this alone.”
    He shook his head. “I can’t let that happen, Becca.”
    “This is real, Levi; you can’t fix everything. Chad needs me home more than I need to be in college. I have to help him.”
    “I’m not saying that I can fix everything. I just can't let you leave school. I didn't want to say it like this, but I love you. I knew it that first night when you spilled beer all over me, and the first time I saw you dance. I can't let you leave. We can try and fix this for Chad. Joseph will help. My mom even said that Chad could come live with them in New York; you could see him as much as you wanted.”
    This was all too much; I needed to get away. How could he love me? I shook my head. “No,” I said, as I got out of the car.
    “What do you mean no?” He slammed his door and walked around to my side.
    “Look, I appreciate the thought, but Chad and I aren’t some charity case that needs a place to sleep and a hot meal. I can help him; we’ll be fine on our own.”
    “Damn it, Becca, let me in. Why won’t you let me in?” He looked at me pleadingly.
    “Do you know what it feels like to not be good enough? To have everyone around you look at you like you’re trash? To have a mother who has never loved you? That’s my life, Levi; it’s what I’ve lived for as long as I can remember. So, you’ll have to excuse me if I can’t just accept that you love me, that you want to help me.”
    I couldn’t stop the tears, or the rage I had kept inside my whole life. He held me tightly against his chest while I poured it all out, not saying a word as I beat against him with my fists, and then he held me up when my legs would no longer hold me.
    “No, I don’t