The Harder I Fall

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Authors: Jessica Gibson
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know what that’s like, but I don't have to know that to know that you’re worth it. You and Chad, you’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Let us help you; let me in. I love you so damn much. You really have no idea, do you? I see in you all of the things I want to be. You’re strong and so fucking brave. I need you, Becca; I need you in my life.”
    “How can you love me when I’m so broken inside? My heart is shattered into so many pieces. I can't even begin to scrape them all together,” I whispered
    “I love you because you’re you.”
    “How can you be so certain?”
    “Because it’s us, and because there is no other option for me.”
    I let him kiss me, let him erase all of the pain and anger with his love. He cupped my cheeks in his hands and poured his emotion into the kiss. I clung to him, letting him press me against the car door, and I clutched at his shirt, holding bunches of fabric in my hands. His tongue teased against my own, begging for more of me, all of me. I felt his teeth nip along my lower lip as his hands smoothed up my sides.
    I pushed him away, dizzy from everything I was feeling. “We can’t do this here, in front of the police station. Or anywhere for that matter, not until we know what’s going to happen to Chad.” I slid out from under his arm and walked a few steps away, my breathing ragged. We sat down on the curb together.
    “I’m scared of all of this. Of you, of us. I don’t know how to do love. No one besides Chad and Frannie has ever loved me. What if I let myself fall for you and there’s no one there to catch me?” I whispered.
    “I promise you, I will always catch you.” He brought my fingers to his lips.

 

     
     
     
    J OSEPH WAS NOT AT ALL what I’d expected. He was taller than Levi by a few inches, but his hair was a sandy blond color. His demeanor was a lot more serious than Levi’s as well, but I suppose that’s what you want in a lawyer. “Thank you for doing this.” I smiled weakly.
    “I’ll get him out as soon as the judge will hear his case.” He didn't bother responding to my thank you. I sort of liked him; I enjoyed his no nonsense approach to everything. “One thing they are going to want to know is who he’ll be released to. Will that be your mother?”
    “No, definitely not. It will be me if that’s allowed”
    “You’re eighteen, right?” He jotted some notes down on his phone.
    “Yeah.”
    “I’ll see what I can do. Now, what are we going to do about his living arrangements?”
    “He’s going to live with Mom and Dad in New York,” Levi answered.
    Joseph arched a brow and then looked in my direction. “Has your mom agreed to this?”
    “I haven't asked her. Levi just told me your parents had offered.”
    “You’ll need her permission because he’s a minor,” he explained. I knew that the only way she would agree to it was for money, and I didn't have much to offer her. I wasn’t even totally sure about the plan; I had never even met Levi’s parents, and I couldn't be fully comfortable with it until then.
    “This is all moving at light speed. I need to slow it down so I can think. I don’t even know your parents, and I can’t let Chad just move across the country without both of us being comfortable with it.” Fear colored my words; I was afraid of offending them, but I also needed to do what was best for Chad.
    “No one wants to push you into anything.” Levi patted my shoulder. “My parents are coming tomorrow. That way everyone can meet and we can really discuss all of this.”
    Joseph left after that to get some work done, and my head was swimming. “I need some space,” I told Levi.
    He wanted to protest. I could tell he struggled with it, but he just nodded and let me go. I went to the one place that had been my home while I was growing up, my neighbor Jane’s dance studio. There were no classes going on, but she was in the back office when I let myself

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