The Guns of Two-Space

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Authors: Dave Grossman, Bob Hudson
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all the 'fun'... eh?"
    "Shipmates," Melville began, "I've brought you here as witnesses that we did not start this battle. We will not fire until they fire at us, and if they do not fire we'll be perfectly content to go on about our business. If they fire—and I don't think they came out here just to give us a big wet kiss—then I would like to have you on hand to bear witness. An esteemed Earth ambassador," this was said with a respectful, open-handed gesture to Asquith, and the captain's demeanor coupled with his exaggeration of Asquith's position seemed to make the little man stand a bit taller and prouder, "a widely respected Sylvan surgeon," this was said with a slight bow toward Lady Elphinstone, and she nodded back with solemn dignity and perhaps a twinkle of humor in her eyes, "a man of the cloth," to which Brother Theo, their purser, gave a dignified nod with just a hint of self-mockery in it, "two members of the Regiment of Rangers, one of them a Sylvan," the two rangers nodded with wry grins, "and a lieutenant of marines who is also a Dwarrowdelf," at which Broadax exposed her teeth—in what could have been a grin or a snarl—and took a long drag on her cigar, "will all be able to testify that we did not fire first. And I don't think that there is anyone on Earth or all of Westerness who would dare to call you all liars."
    There were nods and confirmations all around on this point, which was reinforced by the solemn nods of the monkeys that sat on their shoulders. Only Asquith did not have a monkey, and his repeated gulps and nods made up for the deficiency. Then Melville turned to his first officer and sailing master. "Mr. Hans, you will take over the upper quarterdeck. Lt. Fielder, you have the conn from the lower quarterdeck. Assuming that they fire, I plan to bore straight into them and sink them long before we have to pass, but if they're still afloat when we meet them, then let us attempt to pass with our redside facing them."
    Fielder and Hans nodded, and then Melville continued. "Very well, any questions? No? Then if my witnesses will please stand in the fo'cs'l here, and Lt. Fielder and Mr. Hans report to your stations, I think it is about time to expect some incoming mail from our Guldur neighbors. God bless you all, my friends, and may God bless our Ship and our endeavors."
    "Amen," said Brother Theo.
    "Aye," replied Broadax. "An' God damn them Guldur bastards to suck vacuum an' freeze in hell!"
    "Amen to that ," drawled Westminster with a nod and a wink as Melville got into position to fire Cuddles.
    The 24-pounders were the Guldur secret weapon, but the Guldur had not figured out how to fire these guns with any accuracy. With any pistol, musket, or 12-pounder in two-space, you fired the gun by sighting it, and then touching the glowing Keel charge at the base of the weapon when you were ready to fire. When you touched the weapon off, you were actually in empathic contact with the Keel, and a good marksman learned how to "tell" the gun where to shoot, in addition to physically aiming the barrel in the conventional manner. To aim a 12-pounder you stood well to the side of the gun and leaned forward to aim down the barrel, in an awkward, hunched-over position, so that when you touched the Keel charge the gun would not hit you as it recoiled violently.
    The 24-pounders were so huge that you could not aim and fire them without being crushed by the recoil. The Guldur dealt with this problem by sighting down the barrel, getting the gun aimed at the target, then stepping back and touching the Keel charge at the base of the barrel. The problem was that this lost a lot of the accuracy. As their master gunner, Mr. Barlet, put it, "You're always firing from old data when you shoot that way. And you can't 'guide' the shot home, you can't 'tell' the gun where to shoot. I just don't know how else to put it, but the bottom line is that the Guldur are only getting about half the potential accuracy from the

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