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father and family stability because my father is sometimes the legend of Mephistopheles made manifest.
    A girl that lights me up so hard, like nothing else in the world can.
    A girl that isn’t my girlfriend.
    This is all so fucked up.
    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not cheating on my girlfriend with Lexi.
    Do I want to?
    Hell no. What I really want to do is dump Kaylee so I can be with Lexi. That’s what I fucking want.
    Can it happen?
    Do humans have the ability to magically sprout wings and fly ?
    Apparently, I wasn’t born to have anything I want. Fuck my free will, or any possible desires born from it. It’s all about what my father wants for me.
    He has my entire destiny mapped out.
    I approached him last week, letting him know I planned to leave Kaylee.
    And why.
    I know. Stupid me, right?
    His words . . . Man, they made me want to break shit.
    “Kaylee is a Whittacker, boy. Clearly, you’re as stupid as I always figured you were. You want to leave a Whittacker for a Berkman? Did you forget what I did to her father when he thought he could get in my way? Do I have to get rid of her too? Or are you just doing this to prove to me what a disappointment you truly are?”
    Ah. My father. King of the Assholes.
    Here’s the thing: I’d leave Kaylee any way if Lexi showed me even a hint of interest. Like that .
    I’ve seen small glimpses, little things here and there that make me believe . . . If I’m going to go up against my father, make Lexi his target, I need to know for sure.
    There can be no doubt.
    All I think about is her wanting me back. Being with her. It keeps me up at night, messes with my concentration at school.
    A never-ending secret fantasy since the girl started developing into a woman.
    I slide the key into the lock, opening the back door of the gym, all the while shaking my head at myself.
     

4

     
     
     
     
     
    It’s normal that I want Lexi as much as I do, you know? She’s always been one of the nerds; no living, breathing guy with a functioning dick gives a fuck.
    Lexi chose early on in the sixth grade to alienate herself from the popular kids in school. Back then, we’d called them every infantile name in the book. Nerds. Losers.
    I say “we”, because thanks to my father’s social circle, I’d been drafted into the popular crew the moment I stepped foot in school.
    Even back then, Lexi had been adorable. Round, blue-gray eyes. Full pink lips. Those big blond curls falling over her shoulders.
    No wonder she grew up into what most guys at school have dubbed “the Destroyer.” Adorable isn’t the only adjective she can proudly claim. Her style isn’t particularly In-Your-Face sexy—something Kaylee and her clique love to tease Lexi about relentlessly—but nothing in the world can hide that type of attractiveness.
    It’s blatant. Wild. Leaks into every part of her personality, so that just the sound of her breathing leaves you panting in response.
    Watching her walk leaves you a throbbing, pre-coming mess.
    Hearing her voice keeps you up all night, jacking off back to back, because you can’t stop imagining what it’d be like to hear her moan your name.
    I’m sure you can guess the real reason Kaylee and all her friends despise Lexi. They know damn well that all the guys at school walk around in a haze of sexual fantasies, all thinking about the one girl that doesn’t even try to get their attention.
    Nerds, emo-fucks, and jocks alike are ready to prostrate themselves at Lexi’s feet, sans clothing, if she would so much as smile in their direction.
    Anger sparks at the thought. As always. I can’t deal with that reality. Hate ruminating on how all the other guys want her as much as I do. That shit drives me crazy in ways even my father can’t.
    Pushing it all aside, I glance at the purple gift bag I’m holding as I walk into the gym.
    It’s Lexi’s eighteenth birthday today.
    I never forgot the day her birthday falls on. Not even after we were separated at ten.
    I’m