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Authors: Betony Vernon
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“think of the sexual region of a woman as a sacrificial altar, her hairs as the sacrificial grass, her skin as the elixir dispenser, the two lips of her Yoni [female genitals] as the tongues of flame that rise up from the offering.” Hindi women were invited to visualize the lingam (penis) as the living embodiment of the transcendental force—the god Shiva. Set your imagination free and allow your own psycho-sensual visualizations to manifest. Reinforcing the mind-body-spirit interrelation will enhance the orgasm’s impact.
Become aware of how the orgasm reflex manifests in your body. The next time you are on the verge of an orgasm, observe what is happening. Are you in a state of physical tension rather than relaxation? Are your legs, buttocks, shoulders, back, and neck taut? Are you holding your breath? If so, you are on the verge of having a tension orgasm—a common, unconscious habit related to “fast sex.” Muscular rigidity increases when we hold our breath, which does not allowthe orgasmic wave to mount to its full potential. While tension may permit us to cum faster, it actually slows rather than facilitates the flow of blood to the genitals, resulting in genitally localized sensations that more closely resemble repressed sneezes than deep, rolling waves of full-body pleasure. While tension orgasms can come in handy if you have no time or energy for anything but a “quickie,” they reveal only a fraction of our orgasmic pleasure capacity.
Learn to relax into your pleasure. Remind yourself to breathe into the sensations you are experiencing as your pleasure mounts, rather than holding your breath. Deep, full breaths send pure oxygenated blood throughout the entire body, including the genitals. So
breathe
with ecstatic purpose: let fresh oxygen relax the mind and purify and enliven the entire body. A calm mind is a more creative mind, which leads the body to become more receptive to pleasure. The disciplines of yoga and meditation incorporate breath awareness and control in the earliest stages of the practice. Their techniques can be utilized in the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony to great effect. As many yogis say, “Where the mind goes, the body follows.”
ORGASMS: THE SEXUAL DANCE
Both the male and female genitals are nestled in a congregation of blood vessels. During arousal, blood surges into the penis and the clitoral system, and as pleasure mounts and crests, endorphins, the body’s “love drug,” are injected into the bloodstream, transporting us higher into the sexual dimension. Endorphins increase our tolerance to pain while chemically reinforcing our perception of pleasure. Over the course of a lengthy sexual ritual, they will also evoke a divine glow. Take a look at yourself in a mirror after you have flown on the wings of ecstasy, and you will see for yourself … there is simply no greater beauty enhancer than deeply gratifying sex.
Many people presume that men’s and women’s orgasms are exactly alike, but there are several crucial differences. For one, the mounting of sexual tension that leads to climax in women may take longer than it does in their male counterparts; however, the time shortens radically when women are masturbating alone and concentrating exclusively on their own pleasure. Because of this presumption of similarity, women who can’t adapt to the limitations of sexual urgency during partner sex and arrive at the finish line with a single orgasm of their own were considered frigid. Today, however, we know that the inability to experience orgasm during partner sex is linked to a question of timing. “Fast sex” does not allow a woman, any more than it permits a man, to explore her multifaceted pleasure capacity or savor truly deep levels of sexual satisfaction.
Another crucial difference between male and female orgasms is that when men ejaculate during orgasm, it is usually a signal of the end of the sexual encounter. In order to attain another erection and achieve
Become aware of how the orgasm reflex manifests in your body. The next time you are on the verge of an orgasm, observe what is happening. Are you in a state of physical tension rather than relaxation? Are your legs, buttocks, shoulders, back, and neck taut? Are you holding your breath? If so, you are on the verge of having a tension orgasm—a common, unconscious habit related to “fast sex.” Muscular rigidity increases when we hold our breath, which does not allowthe orgasmic wave to mount to its full potential. While tension may permit us to cum faster, it actually slows rather than facilitates the flow of blood to the genitals, resulting in genitally localized sensations that more closely resemble repressed sneezes than deep, rolling waves of full-body pleasure. While tension orgasms can come in handy if you have no time or energy for anything but a “quickie,” they reveal only a fraction of our orgasmic pleasure capacity.
Learn to relax into your pleasure. Remind yourself to breathe into the sensations you are experiencing as your pleasure mounts, rather than holding your breath. Deep, full breaths send pure oxygenated blood throughout the entire body, including the genitals. So
breathe
with ecstatic purpose: let fresh oxygen relax the mind and purify and enliven the entire body. A calm mind is a more creative mind, which leads the body to become more receptive to pleasure. The disciplines of yoga and meditation incorporate breath awareness and control in the earliest stages of the practice. Their techniques can be utilized in the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony to great effect. As many yogis say, “Where the mind goes, the body follows.”
ORGASMS: THE SEXUAL DANCE
Both the male and female genitals are nestled in a congregation of blood vessels. During arousal, blood surges into the penis and the clitoral system, and as pleasure mounts and crests, endorphins, the body’s “love drug,” are injected into the bloodstream, transporting us higher into the sexual dimension. Endorphins increase our tolerance to pain while chemically reinforcing our perception of pleasure. Over the course of a lengthy sexual ritual, they will also evoke a divine glow. Take a look at yourself in a mirror after you have flown on the wings of ecstasy, and you will see for yourself … there is simply no greater beauty enhancer than deeply gratifying sex.
Many people presume that men’s and women’s orgasms are exactly alike, but there are several crucial differences. For one, the mounting of sexual tension that leads to climax in women may take longer than it does in their male counterparts; however, the time shortens radically when women are masturbating alone and concentrating exclusively on their own pleasure. Because of this presumption of similarity, women who can’t adapt to the limitations of sexual urgency during partner sex and arrive at the finish line with a single orgasm of their own were considered frigid. Today, however, we know that the inability to experience orgasm during partner sex is linked to a question of timing. “Fast sex” does not allow a woman, any more than it permits a man, to explore her multifaceted pleasure capacity or savor truly deep levels of sexual satisfaction.
Another crucial difference between male and female orgasms is that when men ejaculate during orgasm, it is usually a signal of the end of the sexual encounter. In order to attain another erection and achieve
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