her options open. I think you’re lovely, though. I can’t see why she’d want to see anyone else.” As she spoke, she gestured a verbal rainbow with her arm, arcing her hand across the sky as she said “anyone else”.
“Good,” said Tom.
Janet shuddered upwards, removing her hand momentarily. She stared at Tom in drunken confusion, her features slowly adjusting and then reacting to the news.
“Good?” she said. “Good?”
At this point, Tom processed exactly what she’d said to him. “Hold on a minute,” he said with a degree of urgency. “What other man?”
Janet roared her approval. “Oh, you’re so masculine!” she declared.
Tom stood up. At first, he was outraged at what he was hearing. Then, as he stood looking at Janet swaying in her inebriated state, he realised that this was a golden opportunity.
“Excuse me, Janet,” he said and set off to find Amy. Janet’s hand snaked out to grab his arm, demonstrating a dexterity that her state didn’t justify.
“Room 303,” she said with a wink.
Tom walked off, happy to ignore said advance. As he walked through the masses of drunken people talking loudly, attempting to dance on their own or clinging tearfully to pieces of Perspex with their name on it, he became increasingly outraged. It was one thing to be propositioned by a drunken grandmother, but it was quite another to discover that your imaginary girlfriend was being hypothetically unfaithful to you.
“There you are,” he said, seeing Amy side-on in a crowd. Grabbing her arm, he smiled and added, “Can I have a word, please?”
Amy looked at the crescent of people wondering what could be so crucial that she needed to be dragged away, while a few female co-workers looked at each other conspiratorially.
“Won’t be two shakes,” announced Tom.
He kept hold of Amy’s arm and actively dragged her through the crowd. Resting beside an ornate, white-and-gold glass door in a small alcove, he let go, resulting in her landing with a judder.
“What’s all that about?” she said affronted, dusting herself down.
“It’s about the bloke from the gym, that’s what it’s about.”
Amy looked horrified. “Oh God, she didn’t?”
“She did,” Tom spat back.
“ It’s not as if…” Amy began, before Tom cut her off in her tracks.
“Don’t even t ry it. I don’t mind coming here and playing the part of your dutiful boyfriend, but I’m not going to be made to look like some kind of prick because you’re telling everyone at work that I’m not The One and that you’re doing some other bloke behind my back.”
Amy took some degree of umbrage at his tone. “I didn’t tell anyone that – I just said we went for drinks!”
Tom looked up to ensure that no one was within earshot. “And that’s OK, is it? Here I am trying to be this rock in your life and you’re making me look like a bloody fool. It’s not on, Amy. Honestly, you’re taking the piss.”
Amy looked genuinely nervous at Tom’s real and growing irritation. It was true that the permutations for disaster had been greater than she’d anticipated, but she’d been sure that her burgeoning relationship with the gym guy wouldn’t have been one of those factors.
“Look,” she said sheepishly, “I’m sorry. Really. It’s just that I met this guy a few weeks ago and we got on. He asked me out for a drink and, well, I went. I know I didn’t tell you. I just thought – I don’t know. After my recent record, I just wanted to meet someone without anyone knowing. No pressure, no expectations. Anyway, he asked me out again and then Janet saw him and me at the gym. She’s just joined. Thinks it’s full of musclemen who want to find a MILF.”
Tom was too angry to be nauseated by the image.
“So I just told her that I was having second thoughts about us and that we might not last the distance. But then this guy didn’t call back when he said he would, so I just forgot about him and assumed that she would,
“Good,” said Tom.
Janet shuddered upwards, removing her hand momentarily. She stared at Tom in drunken confusion, her features slowly adjusting and then reacting to the news.
“Good?” she said. “Good?”
At this point, Tom processed exactly what she’d said to him. “Hold on a minute,” he said with a degree of urgency. “What other man?”
Janet roared her approval. “Oh, you’re so masculine!” she declared.
Tom stood up. At first, he was outraged at what he was hearing. Then, as he stood looking at Janet swaying in her inebriated state, he realised that this was a golden opportunity.
“Excuse me, Janet,” he said and set off to find Amy. Janet’s hand snaked out to grab his arm, demonstrating a dexterity that her state didn’t justify.
“Room 303,” she said with a wink.
Tom walked off, happy to ignore said advance. As he walked through the masses of drunken people talking loudly, attempting to dance on their own or clinging tearfully to pieces of Perspex with their name on it, he became increasingly outraged. It was one thing to be propositioned by a drunken grandmother, but it was quite another to discover that your imaginary girlfriend was being hypothetically unfaithful to you.
“There you are,” he said, seeing Amy side-on in a crowd. Grabbing her arm, he smiled and added, “Can I have a word, please?”
Amy looked at the crescent of people wondering what could be so crucial that she needed to be dragged away, while a few female co-workers looked at each other conspiratorially.
“Won’t be two shakes,” announced Tom.
He kept hold of Amy’s arm and actively dragged her through the crowd. Resting beside an ornate, white-and-gold glass door in a small alcove, he let go, resulting in her landing with a judder.
“What’s all that about?” she said affronted, dusting herself down.
“It’s about the bloke from the gym, that’s what it’s about.”
Amy looked horrified. “Oh God, she didn’t?”
“She did,” Tom spat back.
“ It’s not as if…” Amy began, before Tom cut her off in her tracks.
“Don’t even t ry it. I don’t mind coming here and playing the part of your dutiful boyfriend, but I’m not going to be made to look like some kind of prick because you’re telling everyone at work that I’m not The One and that you’re doing some other bloke behind my back.”
Amy took some degree of umbrage at his tone. “I didn’t tell anyone that – I just said we went for drinks!”
Tom looked up to ensure that no one was within earshot. “And that’s OK, is it? Here I am trying to be this rock in your life and you’re making me look like a bloody fool. It’s not on, Amy. Honestly, you’re taking the piss.”
Amy looked genuinely nervous at Tom’s real and growing irritation. It was true that the permutations for disaster had been greater than she’d anticipated, but she’d been sure that her burgeoning relationship with the gym guy wouldn’t have been one of those factors.
“Look,” she said sheepishly, “I’m sorry. Really. It’s just that I met this guy a few weeks ago and we got on. He asked me out for a drink and, well, I went. I know I didn’t tell you. I just thought – I don’t know. After my recent record, I just wanted to meet someone without anyone knowing. No pressure, no expectations. Anyway, he asked me out again and then Janet saw him and me at the gym. She’s just joined. Thinks it’s full of musclemen who want to find a MILF.”
Tom was too angry to be nauseated by the image.
“So I just told her that I was having second thoughts about us and that we might not last the distance. But then this guy didn’t call back when he said he would, so I just forgot about him and assumed that she would,
Similar Books
