too. It was just a few drinks – honest. I should’ve realised that Janet wouldn’t be able to keep her trap shut. Sorry.”
Both of them stood in silence, staring at each other – conducting the rest of their conversation through a kaleidoscope of glares.
“You’ve made me look like a dick tonight, Amy,” Tom barked.
Amy had little ground to defend. “I know and I’m sorry – I really never thought it would come out. I thought she’d have forgotten all about it.”
Tom stood up and inhaled, taking in the room. The blur of anonymous faces and sounds amplified what he was feeling. He was irritated, not so much at Amy’s silly deception – he’d forgive her for that – but rather by the situation they’d both got themselves into. She’d been an ideal cover for him at work and he was her reserve boyfriend to appease an increasingly demanding family. A family that was convinced she was lesbian or had something wrong with her. It was agreed that Tom would be wheeled out only if push came to shove, and only if Amy hadn’t found someone suitable before then.
“There you are!” came the shrill voice, seemingly from behind a pot plant. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t find you in the mass of bodies. Did you win?”
The question from Aunty Edith seemed like a peculiar one. Both Tom and Amy stared back at her as if she was speaking in a foreign language. “Didn’t that woman say you were up for an award?”
Tom, having been jolted back to reality, nodded. “Yes, she won.”
Edith smiled, reached out and squeezed both their arms. “I bet you’re very proud of her, aren’t you?” she said, staring at Tom.
“Oh, yes,” he replied breathlessly. He looked over at Amy’s chastened features and added, “Words can’t quite describe how I’m feeling right now.”
Amy smiled and looked away, blushing somewhat. Edith had seen enough. “You don’t have to blush on my account, dear. I know all about love.”
Amy was about to interject when Edith produced a leather diary from her clutch purse. “Now, my dears, I’ve just spoken to your mother, Amy – by the way, she says you must call her the minute you get in; she doesn’t care how late it is – and we’ve agreed that you’ll both stay at your parents’ on the 20th.”
Tom looked perplexed. “The 20th?” he asked, straight-faced, wondering what else Amy hadn’t told him. “What’s happening on the 20th?” he spat at her.
Edith looked at him, much as she would her Labrador if it had tracked mud into the house. “Yes, dear. The 20th is my daughter’s wedding. Claire? Amy must’ve said something about it? You’re both coming, of course.”
Tom shot a look in Amy’s direction that would’ve reduced her to a small heap of ash on the floor if it could. Trying to retain some decorum in full sight of this formidable matriarch, he was having none of it.
“The 20th of this month? I’m really sorry but I have a work function to attend. If only I’d known earlier, but I’m afraid my boss has said that it’s mandatory. I am sorry.”
Edith immediately put her poker face into action. “Oh, really?” she asked, sensing a false hand in play.
“I’m afraid so,” said Tom, nodding.
“If only it was the 20th of the month after next!” she said, looking at Tom. A trap set.
“Exactly,” said Tom, unaware of where this was heading.
“You’d have been free then, I bet!” she said, smiling and nodding as if employing the subtle art of hypnosis on him. Tom mirrored her nodding, then shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows at the same time, as if to suggest disappointment.
“Good. Because it is the month after that, so we’ll see you both there. And don’t worry, my darlings, we’ll make sure you have a lovely double room all to yourself. I’m no prude. And you never know, the mood might take you – weddings do get one in the mood for other weddings, you know!”
Tom stood, dumbstruck. Amy was transfixed on a
Both of them stood in silence, staring at each other – conducting the rest of their conversation through a kaleidoscope of glares.
“You’ve made me look like a dick tonight, Amy,” Tom barked.
Amy had little ground to defend. “I know and I’m sorry – I really never thought it would come out. I thought she’d have forgotten all about it.”
Tom stood up and inhaled, taking in the room. The blur of anonymous faces and sounds amplified what he was feeling. He was irritated, not so much at Amy’s silly deception – he’d forgive her for that – but rather by the situation they’d both got themselves into. She’d been an ideal cover for him at work and he was her reserve boyfriend to appease an increasingly demanding family. A family that was convinced she was lesbian or had something wrong with her. It was agreed that Tom would be wheeled out only if push came to shove, and only if Amy hadn’t found someone suitable before then.
“There you are!” came the shrill voice, seemingly from behind a pot plant. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t find you in the mass of bodies. Did you win?”
The question from Aunty Edith seemed like a peculiar one. Both Tom and Amy stared back at her as if she was speaking in a foreign language. “Didn’t that woman say you were up for an award?”
Tom, having been jolted back to reality, nodded. “Yes, she won.”
Edith smiled, reached out and squeezed both their arms. “I bet you’re very proud of her, aren’t you?” she said, staring at Tom.
“Oh, yes,” he replied breathlessly. He looked over at Amy’s chastened features and added, “Words can’t quite describe how I’m feeling right now.”
Amy smiled and looked away, blushing somewhat. Edith had seen enough. “You don’t have to blush on my account, dear. I know all about love.”
Amy was about to interject when Edith produced a leather diary from her clutch purse. “Now, my dears, I’ve just spoken to your mother, Amy – by the way, she says you must call her the minute you get in; she doesn’t care how late it is – and we’ve agreed that you’ll both stay at your parents’ on the 20th.”
Tom looked perplexed. “The 20th?” he asked, straight-faced, wondering what else Amy hadn’t told him. “What’s happening on the 20th?” he spat at her.
Edith looked at him, much as she would her Labrador if it had tracked mud into the house. “Yes, dear. The 20th is my daughter’s wedding. Claire? Amy must’ve said something about it? You’re both coming, of course.”
Tom shot a look in Amy’s direction that would’ve reduced her to a small heap of ash on the floor if it could. Trying to retain some decorum in full sight of this formidable matriarch, he was having none of it.
“The 20th of this month? I’m really sorry but I have a work function to attend. If only I’d known earlier, but I’m afraid my boss has said that it’s mandatory. I am sorry.”
Edith immediately put her poker face into action. “Oh, really?” she asked, sensing a false hand in play.
“I’m afraid so,” said Tom, nodding.
“If only it was the 20th of the month after next!” she said, looking at Tom. A trap set.
“Exactly,” said Tom, unaware of where this was heading.
“You’d have been free then, I bet!” she said, smiling and nodding as if employing the subtle art of hypnosis on him. Tom mirrored her nodding, then shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows at the same time, as if to suggest disappointment.
“Good. Because it is the month after that, so we’ll see you both there. And don’t worry, my darlings, we’ll make sure you have a lovely double room all to yourself. I’m no prude. And you never know, the mood might take you – weddings do get one in the mood for other weddings, you know!”
Tom stood, dumbstruck. Amy was transfixed on a
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