Read Online The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan, Chris Webb - Free Book Online
Authors: Thomas W. Phelan, Chris Webb
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about the safety of the child, childproof
the room, secure any windows and remain outside the door during the
time out, but try not to let the child know you’re there. And don’t forget
the one-minute-per-year rule for the length of the rest period. Remember
that you may not increase the length of the time out simply because you’re
in a bad mood. You can increase the length of time out—to a point—if
the child did something that is exceptionally bad.
Once children learn they can’t get out of the room, they will stop
tantruming and calmly accept the brief period of quiet.
13. What if the child won’t come out?
You probably know the answer to this one: Relax and enjoy yourself!
You go to the bedroom door and say, “Time’s up.” Your son or daughter
replies, “I’m never coming out again as long as I live!” Don’t say, “Good!”
or anything like that. Just walk away—never chase a martyr.
On the other hand, do not cheat by inadvertently extending the time
out. Imagine your child’s time out was for five minutes. You just noticed,
though, that you had gotten distracted and eight minutes have elapsed.
You think,“Oh, it’s so peaceful! And she’s being so quiet in her room! I
TWENTY QUESTIONS 49
don’t have the heart to let her out.” Wrong—no fair. Keep an eye on the
clock or timer, then tell the child when the time is up. If your girl has
fallen asleep—and if it’s OK for her to nap at this time of day, let her
snooze for a bit.
Some kids always want a hug and some reassurance when time
out is over. What do you do? Give them a hug! But be careful with these
little huggers. If a child repeatedly requests a hug, you’d better check to
make sure you’re doing the 1-2-3 correctly. Some kids, of course, are
just very sensitive and any kind of discipline upsets them a little. Other
children, however, need reassurance because you were too harsh—emo-
tionally or physically—before you sent them to the room. So if you get
a little hugger, make sure you’re gently following the No-Talking and
No-Emotion rules.
14. Help—my kids go nuts when I’m on the phone!!
This question brings back vivid memories to all parents. It seems that there
are no parents in the entire world whose children don’t act up when the
parents are on the phone. Lots of kids start running around and screaming
as soon as the infernal device rings.
At our house the dog would also get into the act. The phone would ring
and the dog would bark. The dog’s bark was a signal to the kids,“We’ve
got another victim on the line, get down here and let’s torture them for a
while!” Then they’d all be running around, yelling and barking and hav-
ing a wonderful time. Whoever was on the phone, though, would feel
trapped and frustrated.
Why does it seem that children always act up when you’re on the
phone? At first I thought it was because the kids were jealous because
their parent was talking to someone else and ignoring them. There may
be some of this feeling, but now I believe the main reason is that the
youngsters think you are helpless . The kids seem to believe that since
your head is attached to the phone, you won’t be able to do anything to
counter their raising a ruckus.
What you do is count the children just as you would if you weren’t
on the phone—much like when you have other people over. While you’re
on the phone you have somebody else present—but only listening, not
50 1-2-3 MAGIC
watching. You may have to interrupt your conversation to count. You
may have to put the phone down, explain what you’re doing to the person
you’re talking to, or even hang up so you can escort a little one to her
room. Long distance calls can become more expensive, but whatever it
takes, do it. Otherwise the children will know that you are a sitting duck
every time someone calls and you’ll get the royal treatment.
This phone routine is not easy in the beginning.
the room, secure any windows and remain outside the door during the
time out, but try not to let the child know you’re there. And don’t forget
the one-minute-per-year rule for the length of the rest period. Remember
that you may not increase the length of the time out simply because you’re
in a bad mood. You can increase the length of time out—to a point—if
the child did something that is exceptionally bad.
Once children learn they can’t get out of the room, they will stop
tantruming and calmly accept the brief period of quiet.
13. What if the child won’t come out?
You probably know the answer to this one: Relax and enjoy yourself!
You go to the bedroom door and say, “Time’s up.” Your son or daughter
replies, “I’m never coming out again as long as I live!” Don’t say, “Good!”
or anything like that. Just walk away—never chase a martyr.
On the other hand, do not cheat by inadvertently extending the time
out. Imagine your child’s time out was for five minutes. You just noticed,
though, that you had gotten distracted and eight minutes have elapsed.
You think,“Oh, it’s so peaceful! And she’s being so quiet in her room! I
TWENTY QUESTIONS 49
don’t have the heart to let her out.” Wrong—no fair. Keep an eye on the
clock or timer, then tell the child when the time is up. If your girl has
fallen asleep—and if it’s OK for her to nap at this time of day, let her
snooze for a bit.
Some kids always want a hug and some reassurance when time
out is over. What do you do? Give them a hug! But be careful with these
little huggers. If a child repeatedly requests a hug, you’d better check to
make sure you’re doing the 1-2-3 correctly. Some kids, of course, are
just very sensitive and any kind of discipline upsets them a little. Other
children, however, need reassurance because you were too harsh—emo-
tionally or physically—before you sent them to the room. So if you get
a little hugger, make sure you’re gently following the No-Talking and
No-Emotion rules.
14. Help—my kids go nuts when I’m on the phone!!
This question brings back vivid memories to all parents. It seems that there
are no parents in the entire world whose children don’t act up when the
parents are on the phone. Lots of kids start running around and screaming
as soon as the infernal device rings.
At our house the dog would also get into the act. The phone would ring
and the dog would bark. The dog’s bark was a signal to the kids,“We’ve
got another victim on the line, get down here and let’s torture them for a
while!” Then they’d all be running around, yelling and barking and hav-
ing a wonderful time. Whoever was on the phone, though, would feel
trapped and frustrated.
Why does it seem that children always act up when you’re on the
phone? At first I thought it was because the kids were jealous because
their parent was talking to someone else and ignoring them. There may
be some of this feeling, but now I believe the main reason is that the
youngsters think you are helpless . The kids seem to believe that since
your head is attached to the phone, you won’t be able to do anything to
counter their raising a ruckus.
What you do is count the children just as you would if you weren’t
on the phone—much like when you have other people over. While you’re
on the phone you have somebody else present—but only listening, not
50 1-2-3 MAGIC
watching. You may have to interrupt your conversation to count. You
may have to put the phone down, explain what you’re doing to the person
you’re talking to, or even hang up so you can escort a little one to her
room. Long distance calls can become more expensive, but whatever it
takes, do it. Otherwise the children will know that you are a sitting duck
every time someone calls and you’ll get the royal treatment.
This phone routine is not easy in the beginning.
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