Read Online Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life by David Topus - Free Book Online
Authors: David Topus
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the middle or toward the front. Likewise, someone who is hunched over their computer in the corner of the hotel lobby is likely less available than the person sitting on the sectional sofa where there is room for others to sit nearby. These are subtle yet significant clues about how available someone is, and they are important guides for you as you approach your potential new acquaintance.
Chapter at a Glance
People telegraph information about themselves in indirect but clear ways.
Notice logos on clothing or travel items and insignias on jewelry or technology.
These clues are ideal for helping formulate relevant conversation starters.
Chapter 12
Avoid Judging People From a Distance
We tend to evaluate others based on surface assessments of how they look, how they’re dressed, or what they’re doing. It’s human nature to make up stories about people based on what truly amounts to superficial data. And because it is superficial, the formulas we use don’t always hold up. We think to ourselves: That person doesn’t look friendly because she’s frowning instead of smiling. This person doesn’t look like he’s influential because he’s wearing cutoffs and has a few days’ growth on his face. Or that person probably isn’t worth meeting because she just got out of an older model car.
Have you ever read The Millionaire Next Door? Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko’s book lets us in on an important fact: most millionaires drive old cars. And most have never spent more than a few hundred dollars on a suit. And oh, by the way, some of the most successful entrepreneurs don’t even bother to shave every day.
No doubt, we as random connectors are seeking those who represent the greatest potential for having a mutually beneficial relationship. But just as a priceless piece of sterling silver may not appear so on the surface, a hugely valuable connection may be waiting for you at the bus stop, in the coach section of the airplane, or in the share-a-taxi line at the hotel. So although your preliminary assessment of another person may be right, it may also be wrong. And making the wrong call about a potential connection could be costly. It might cause you to miss out on making one of the most valuable contacts of your lifetime, just because you presumed that the woman standing in front of you in line at the coffee shop in a running suit isn’t the CEO of a company who happens to be on vacation. . .or working from home that day.
Chapter at a Glance
People don’t always look like what or who they are.
Making an assumption about someone could be very costly.
Some of the most influential people are understated in terms of dress and attitude.
Chapter 13
Don’t Be Overeager
When you attempt to talk to someone in a public venue for the purpose of networking, the way in which you reach out has everything to do with the result you get. In other words, it’s all about the approach, with the venue being an important consideration. If you are in a place where the other person has overtly or implicitly agreed to socialize or be met, then that person is fair game. It is mutually understood that the person is willing to engage, and you have permission to strike up a conversation. Since both parties know this, the other person is less likely to be guarded or feel that you are trespassing in his or her personal space. Trade shows, industry conferences, professional events, and parties are obviously networking bonanzas; most everyone is open and receptive to making new relationships. You might say they’re “all-you-can-meet” buffets.
However, random connecting differs from these kinds of venues in that you are approaching people in places where the other party has not necessarily agreed to be met. This is where your approach becomes so essential. It is especially important to be cognizant of the creep factor—not the
Chapter at a Glance
People telegraph information about themselves in indirect but clear ways.
Notice logos on clothing or travel items and insignias on jewelry or technology.
These clues are ideal for helping formulate relevant conversation starters.
Chapter 12
Avoid Judging People From a Distance
We tend to evaluate others based on surface assessments of how they look, how they’re dressed, or what they’re doing. It’s human nature to make up stories about people based on what truly amounts to superficial data. And because it is superficial, the formulas we use don’t always hold up. We think to ourselves: That person doesn’t look friendly because she’s frowning instead of smiling. This person doesn’t look like he’s influential because he’s wearing cutoffs and has a few days’ growth on his face. Or that person probably isn’t worth meeting because she just got out of an older model car.
Have you ever read The Millionaire Next Door? Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko’s book lets us in on an important fact: most millionaires drive old cars. And most have never spent more than a few hundred dollars on a suit. And oh, by the way, some of the most successful entrepreneurs don’t even bother to shave every day.
No doubt, we as random connectors are seeking those who represent the greatest potential for having a mutually beneficial relationship. But just as a priceless piece of sterling silver may not appear so on the surface, a hugely valuable connection may be waiting for you at the bus stop, in the coach section of the airplane, or in the share-a-taxi line at the hotel. So although your preliminary assessment of another person may be right, it may also be wrong. And making the wrong call about a potential connection could be costly. It might cause you to miss out on making one of the most valuable contacts of your lifetime, just because you presumed that the woman standing in front of you in line at the coffee shop in a running suit isn’t the CEO of a company who happens to be on vacation. . .or working from home that day.
Chapter at a Glance
People don’t always look like what or who they are.
Making an assumption about someone could be very costly.
Some of the most influential people are understated in terms of dress and attitude.
Chapter 13
Don’t Be Overeager
When you attempt to talk to someone in a public venue for the purpose of networking, the way in which you reach out has everything to do with the result you get. In other words, it’s all about the approach, with the venue being an important consideration. If you are in a place where the other person has overtly or implicitly agreed to socialize or be met, then that person is fair game. It is mutually understood that the person is willing to engage, and you have permission to strike up a conversation. Since both parties know this, the other person is less likely to be guarded or feel that you are trespassing in his or her personal space. Trade shows, industry conferences, professional events, and parties are obviously networking bonanzas; most everyone is open and receptive to making new relationships. You might say they’re “all-you-can-meet” buffets.
However, random connecting differs from these kinds of venues in that you are approaching people in places where the other party has not necessarily agreed to be met. This is where your approach becomes so essential. It is especially important to be cognizant of the creep factor—not the
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