frenzy, her sobbing mingling with Rebecca’s and Stephen’s speech on angels, and Angela Howe shouting from somewhere behind her, and then Jon, close to her, begging her to stop.
Blame and Reflection
‘Please, God, Kate! Stop it!’ He pushed himself between them, putting a hand on Kate’s shoulder to distance her from Rebecca. ‘Kate! Stop! Stop.’
Eventually Kate’s exhausted hands stopped hitting and fell to her sides as if she’d run out of batteries.
‘Kate?’ he breathed.
He saw her eyes focus on him and as they did, the realization of what had happened, of what she’d done, slowly grew. With his hand on his wife’s shoulder, Jon turned to Rebecca, who was hunched and shivering on the floor like a terrified animal. Her arms covered her face, a split lip just visible beneath the crook of an elbow. He reached out to touch her. She recoiled, and as she did the enormity of what had happened fell on him like a dead weight.
He looked then at Angela Howe, who was doing her best to control the gathering crowd. He frantically scanned the faces until he found Lizzie, her bewilderment and terror a reflection of his own. He was torn between going to her and staying with Kate and Rebecca, but when Rebecca made a soft whimpering sound, he dropped to his knees and gathered her in his arms, held her head to his chest, stroked her hair, told her over and over that she was safe. He ventured a glance at Kate, scared in case she caught his eye and saw his shock. But she wasn’t looking at him; her terrified eyes were bolted to Rebecca.
For a split moment it was deathly quiet around them, but then the place erupted. There was a rumble of muttering, the odd scream, people were crying. Angela Howe shouted for someone to call an ambulance. Voices started saying police . He heard Lizzie then, calling out for Kate, saying no, no, no, repeatedly. Jon searched the crowd again, but she’d gone. He called her name, then tried to stand, desperate to find her, but Rebecca clutched at his jacket.
‘Don’t leave me,’ she sobbed softly.
He turned back to Kate. ‘Lizzie?’ he shouted over the noise. ‘Where’s Lizzie? Can you see her?’
Kate didn’t move; she didn’t even register she’d heard his voice.
‘Lizzie!’ Jon called. ‘Lizzie!’
Then Stephen was at his side. He crouched next to him. Leant close to his ear. ‘The police are on their way. You should go with Kate. They have to talk to her.’
‘Rebecca doesn’t want me to leave her,’ he said.
‘I think you’ll have to, Jon,’ Stephen said. ‘Someone needs to be with Kate.’
Jon looked down at Rebecca, who stared back at him. ‘I’m going to leave you with Dr Howe,’ he said, as gently as he could.
Rebecca didn’t let go of him.
Dr Howe held out a hand towards her. ‘Come on, Rebecca. Mr Thorne has to go. You’ll be OK. It’s only for a few minutes; your mother is on her way.’
Rebecca recoiled from Stephen, tucking herself tighter into Jon’s shoulder. ‘No, I want him to stay.’
Jon looked at Kate and her eyes met his. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouthed. ‘I’m so sorry.’
He turned back to Stephen. ‘I’ll stay with Rebecca. She knows me.’
Stephen nodded. ‘Then I’ll accompany Kate.’
Jon’s stomach clenched as he watched Kate walk away from him, the quietened crowd parting like the Red Sea to let her and Stephen Howe through.
He closed his eyes. There was a dreadful throbbing in his head. A sickening sense of foreboding filled him, as if he might never see her again. How on earth had he let this happen? Kate had done something awful and he couldn’t bear to even consider the repercussions, not just from the legal point of view, but on their family, on Lizzie.
He stroked Rebecca’s hair, holding on to her tightly, trying to absorb her shivering, wondering what he could do to make this go away.
Christ , he thought, you idiot. What were you thinking? You saw it in her eyes. You knew she wasn’t up to it. You
Blame and Reflection
‘Please, God, Kate! Stop it!’ He pushed himself between them, putting a hand on Kate’s shoulder to distance her from Rebecca. ‘Kate! Stop! Stop.’
Eventually Kate’s exhausted hands stopped hitting and fell to her sides as if she’d run out of batteries.
‘Kate?’ he breathed.
He saw her eyes focus on him and as they did, the realization of what had happened, of what she’d done, slowly grew. With his hand on his wife’s shoulder, Jon turned to Rebecca, who was hunched and shivering on the floor like a terrified animal. Her arms covered her face, a split lip just visible beneath the crook of an elbow. He reached out to touch her. She recoiled, and as she did the enormity of what had happened fell on him like a dead weight.
He looked then at Angela Howe, who was doing her best to control the gathering crowd. He frantically scanned the faces until he found Lizzie, her bewilderment and terror a reflection of his own. He was torn between going to her and staying with Kate and Rebecca, but when Rebecca made a soft whimpering sound, he dropped to his knees and gathered her in his arms, held her head to his chest, stroked her hair, told her over and over that she was safe. He ventured a glance at Kate, scared in case she caught his eye and saw his shock. But she wasn’t looking at him; her terrified eyes were bolted to Rebecca.
For a split moment it was deathly quiet around them, but then the place erupted. There was a rumble of muttering, the odd scream, people were crying. Angela Howe shouted for someone to call an ambulance. Voices started saying police . He heard Lizzie then, calling out for Kate, saying no, no, no, repeatedly. Jon searched the crowd again, but she’d gone. He called her name, then tried to stand, desperate to find her, but Rebecca clutched at his jacket.
‘Don’t leave me,’ she sobbed softly.
He turned back to Kate. ‘Lizzie?’ he shouted over the noise. ‘Where’s Lizzie? Can you see her?’
Kate didn’t move; she didn’t even register she’d heard his voice.
‘Lizzie!’ Jon called. ‘Lizzie!’
Then Stephen was at his side. He crouched next to him. Leant close to his ear. ‘The police are on their way. You should go with Kate. They have to talk to her.’
‘Rebecca doesn’t want me to leave her,’ he said.
‘I think you’ll have to, Jon,’ Stephen said. ‘Someone needs to be with Kate.’
Jon looked down at Rebecca, who stared back at him. ‘I’m going to leave you with Dr Howe,’ he said, as gently as he could.
Rebecca didn’t let go of him.
Dr Howe held out a hand towards her. ‘Come on, Rebecca. Mr Thorne has to go. You’ll be OK. It’s only for a few minutes; your mother is on her way.’
Rebecca recoiled from Stephen, tucking herself tighter into Jon’s shoulder. ‘No, I want him to stay.’
Jon looked at Kate and her eyes met his. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouthed. ‘I’m so sorry.’
He turned back to Stephen. ‘I’ll stay with Rebecca. She knows me.’
Stephen nodded. ‘Then I’ll accompany Kate.’
Jon’s stomach clenched as he watched Kate walk away from him, the quietened crowd parting like the Red Sea to let her and Stephen Howe through.
He closed his eyes. There was a dreadful throbbing in his head. A sickening sense of foreboding filled him, as if he might never see her again. How on earth had he let this happen? Kate had done something awful and he couldn’t bear to even consider the repercussions, not just from the legal point of view, but on their family, on Lizzie.
He stroked Rebecca’s hair, holding on to her tightly, trying to absorb her shivering, wondering what he could do to make this go away.
Christ , he thought, you idiot. What were you thinking? You saw it in her eyes. You knew she wasn’t up to it. You
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