Read Online Swim the Fly by Don Calame - Free Book Online Page A

think about making a run for it.
    “I put a lot of work into this new schedule,” he says, pulling a hot-pink piece of paper from a display on the desk. “The least you girls can do is take one.” He holds the sheet out to us.
    Sean cautiously reaches up and takes the page. “Sorry,” he says, using a fake girl-voice that sounds more like Mickey Mouse than anything else.
    “It’s all right.” The guy shrugs. “But make sure to tell your friends. There’s a lot of great new classes this summer.”
    “Mm-hm,” we all say, smiling.
    “Okay, well, have fun.” The guy tucks the earbud back into his ear, sits down, and picks up his book.
    We have to swallow our laughter as we enter the women’s locker room.
    It looks like we’re the only ones here right now, which is good. It’ll give us some time to scout out the best viewing location. The women’s changing room is way different from the guys’. For one thing, it’s all pale yellow. The tiles, the lockers. And it smells way better, too. Not like a ripe hockey bag. The towels are all rolled up and stacked on the counters. There are potted trees in the corners. There are even private shower stalls.
    We’ve got about five minutes until Mandy Reagan’s class is over, which is just enough time for me to use the john. My gut is back in action and I want to be able to enjoy my first naked girl sighting without these annoying cramps.
    “Don’t rip the carpet too loud,” Coop says to me. “Girl farts are different. They’re more like mouse squeaks. You go letting off sonic booms and we’ll be found out for sure.”
    “Yeah, yeah,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”
    I make my way through the maze of lockers and toward the bathroom in the back corner. The door leading to the gym and the studios is just down the hall.
    I’ve never been in a girls’ bathroom before, either, but here it’s not so different from the guys’. There are no urinals, sure, but it’s just as much of a mess. Wet paper towels flung all over the sink counter. Toilet paper on the floor.
    I’m still marveling at all this when a toilet flushes. I’m not so nervous now that we fooled the guy at the front desk.
    I take a deep breath, smile, and start toward the stalls.
    And that’s when one of the stall doors opens —
    And Kelly West steps out.
    I get that plane-suddenly-dipping feeling. Sweat on the back of my neck. Thrumming in my temples.
    “Hi,” Kelly says, barely glancing at me.
    “Hi,” I say with the same bad Mickey Mouse voice Sean just used.
    Kelly stops and looks at me. “Do I know you?”
    I shake my head.
    “You look so familiar,” Kelly says. “What’s your name?”
    “Topaz,” I say softly, looking down. “Excuse me.” I move past Kelly, toward the farthest stall.
    “Wait,” Kelly says.
    I stop but don’t turn to face her.
    “Did you take ballet?” Kelly asks.
    I shake my head again. My intestines seize. I’m going to die if I don’t go to the bathroom right away.
    “This is going to bother me all day. I know you from somewhere.”
    I shrug and reach for the door to the stall.
    “Just turn around. Let me see your face again.”
    If I can just relieve some of the pressure in my gut, Icould deal with this situation better. I figure I can safely let off some quiet gas at this distance.
    I relax just a bit and realize instantly that this was a mistake. There’s nothing quiet about it. There’s a rumbling thunderclap in my boxer briefs followed immediately by full deployment.
    “Ohmygod,” Kelly says, her voice horrified. “I’m sorry.”
    I don’t have to turn around to know that she’s already gone.
    The cesspool stink smacks me in the nose like a baseball bat and I feel the warm stew seeping down my legs. I waddle into the stall and stand there in complete shock.
    What the
hell
do I do now?

I SNAP MYSELF BACK. This is not one of those situations where you want to stand around for any length of time considering your options. You need to do