Read Online Style and Disgrace by Caitlin West - Free Book Online

to the caller.
    “What if I tell you I don’t give a damn about the consequences? That I’ll get to your… threat when I get to it? What then?”
    Another pause.
    “Really. You’d make that threat? I don’t believe you’re ready for the consequences. Have I not always been loyal to our cause, because if I’m not mistaken, this is the very first time I have ever asked you to find someone else.”
    I watched emotions play across his face. Helplessness, defiance, rage, and finally resignation. Whatever he was talking about, I suspected he was going to have to leave. The paranoia and fear that brought him here were gone at least. I knew I could be alone in the house if necessary. Nearly cheating on my boyfriend seemed to trump supernatural threats.
    Good to know I’ve got my priorities straight.
    Ian hung up the phone and sat down on the opposite side of the couch from me, staring at the floor. I felt an urge to reach out for him, but there was an aura there, something saying to give him his space. He must’ve been the only man I ever knew who could be so frightening while sitting still. I could feel waves of anger coming from him, far more poignantly than I should have.
    Shit, is this some power of mine manifesting? Another part of dad’s legacy? This is not a good time!
    “We tend to operate independently,” Ian said. He was speaking in a quiet monotone. “Each of us is responsible for keeping our eyes out for opportunities or trouble that would require our special talents to solve. That allowed me to do many things that were…outside the realm of what we traditionally would have become involved in.”
    “Such as fulfilling my father’s wish.”
    “Among other things, yes. Ever since I worked with him, I’ve had some trouble with what my side does. I’m not squeamish. It would be a mistake to assume that, but I have seen enough evidence to change my opinion of who is acting for the greater good and who works…for something else. While I don’t particularly care about individual people, I do appreciate humanity as a whole. I would rather not see the world end…if I can help it.”
    “I’m with you there.”
    “You are only there passively. Like the rest of the world, you don’t want to see it end, but given the strength and power to do something about it, you’d choose not to.” He shook his head. “I’ve risked my life, my very existence beyond death to make a difference. What have you done?”
    “I don’t think that’s entirely fair. I only learned about this recently.”
    “I thought you were different.” Ian stood up. “I thought you were special, but instead, you’re the vapid celebrity I first thought you were. You embody everything my side has worked so hard to create. You’re self-absorbed, addicted to pleasure and public adoration. The sum total of your contribution to society will be a handful of songs written to ensnare a dollar rather than make an honest or thoughtful statement.”
    I couldn’t move for several moments after he fell silent. The words rushed over me and I took them in, tallying the damage of each one before I began formulating a retort. There were parts I might not be able to refute. I was addicted to adoration. I loved the fact people enjoyed our music and wrote me messages or talked to me online.
    High school had been a miserable, self-conscious experience where doubt was a better friend than the few ladies I spent time with. College was better, but I was still chafing under the influence of my mother. When I finally met Sammy and Doug, it all changed for the better, but up until then, I was building up a need for acceptance so strong I would’ve sold my soul to get it.
    “So you think just because I’m not interested in risking my life for a cause I don’t understand, I’m less of a person than you?”
    Ian sighed. “No, that’s not it…”
    “It certainly sounded like it. I have to tell you, there’s no way in hell I’d be willing to do what you