Strange Animals

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Authors: Chad Kultgen
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Lafleur. Honestly, I haven’t been involved with this church or any other church for a while. I, um, got some bad news earlier this year, that my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I’ve been taking care of him for the past few months, and I’ve started to feel much more in touch with spiritual things. I’ve been coming to Woodstone a few days a week to services, andthat’s been helping me a lot. So I thought I’d see if coming to something like this could help me even more. That’s about it.”
    Life was so complex, and filled with so many conflicting emotions and thoughts, that there certainly had to be some kind of God who created it all. And each human soul was too precious to end in death. There had to be something more—a heaven, a hell, maybe reincarnation, just something more. Everyone deserved to see the people they loved in life again after death. While medical science had certainly advanced enough to prolong lives, it never really saved anyone. All people died, and science would never be able to stop that from happening, so before you died it was a very good idea to let God know that you put your faith in him. Sex was something that could be engaged in for a wide variety of reasons, and in a wide variety of circumstances, none of which would prohibit you from going to heaven. As long as you were a good person, you would get in. These were things that Gail understood to be true.
    Pastor Preston said, “As we begin to see our loved ones near their time to journey back into God’s glorious kingdom, sometimes it reminds us that we need to be a little more aware of God ourselves. I’m happy to have you here tonight.” Pastor Preston nodded to a man sitting next to Gail and said, “And I know this next great guy here, but no one else does, so tell us about yourself, please.”
    The man seated next to Gail said, “I do indeed know the good Pastor here, because I’m a pastor myself over at Forrest View—Pastor Jacobs. You can call me Ron. I’ve been a pastor there for almost seven years. I have a wife and two sons, who I love like Christ loves me—unconditionally, unless they get out of line, and then I show them wrath just like God does me. Just kidding. Just a joke. Anyway, I know that Jesus wants me to be the best pastor I can be, and I really think that means being as involved as I can be in as many Christlike things as I can be. So I try to stay active in as many different church groups as I can,especially groups outside my own church. I think you can lose sight of being a good Christian if you get locked into your own little spot, and you forget that there are other Christians outside your church who might do things a little differently. Anyway, I just want to help as much as I can, and when Pastor Preston told me he was starting up this group, I told him he could count on me to be here. So here I am.”
    Every person on the planet who has ever lived or would ever live had a calling from Jesus Christ and his father, God Almighty. Following that calling to the best of your ability would lead to eternity in paradise. Ignoring that calling to engage in personal pursuits was a sin punishable by eternal damnation. Science that was more complex than things like phones, televisions, cars, and other functional technologies that aided in daily life was clearly indulged in by people who were ignoring their callings. The primary function of sex was obviously reproduction, and it was something that only a man and wife should engage in, but once the man had his wife, he alone dictated everything that happened in the sexual relationship. No matter how depraved an act might seem, his wife had no choice but to obey her husband and grant him every demand, as long as it involved no other partners or outright denunciations of Christ. These were things that Pastor Jacobs understood to be true.
    Pastor Preston patted Pastor Jacobs on the back and said,

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