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anointed few and guide them safely through their trials so that no harm may come to them while they are in your service. I ask that you use them as you use me, to do your bidding, and allow us to vanquish the dark forces that Satan would use against us and against your glorious kingdom. Amen.”
    They all repeated “Amen” and Pastor Preston continued, “Okay, I know what you’re thinking: ‘I got some oil on my head. Now what?’” They all laughed, some clearly happy to have a lightening of mood and a moment to acknowledge collectively, passively, that this was a little out of the ordinary compared to any other kind of church group they had ever joined. He said, “The reason I wanted to anoint you guys tonight—sorry, guys and gals—is that I feel we are truly at war with dark-side forces that are threatening our way of life. The dark one has been andalways will be trying to destroy this world and all human souls that reside on it, but I feel we are living very near to the end times, which is when he is at his greatest power, and it’s up to us to stay strong and fight with all our might against everything he set in motion. So why did I anoint you tonight? Because you are now soldiers of Christ Jesus, and you are in a war.”
    James looked around and saw that Brad and some others were getting a little uncomfortable again, but he wasn’t at all. This made sense to him in a way that nothing he’d ever thought or felt about Christ had. He began to think that perhaps the reason he’d never heard God’s voice before was that he’d been doing the wrong thing. He’d been living a life so far from God’s plan, so far from his calling, that God didn’t even know how to talk to him. He was a soldier, a warrior for God, not a floor sweeper. Maybe he had been too humble in his life, while God had planned for him to be brazen, to stand in the face of evil and fight against it in Christ’s name. Thinking of himself in this way, James began to feel a new sense of purpose, and he knew that, just as Pastor Preston had said, his presence in that meeting was part of God’s plan.
    Pastor Preston said, “Come on, now, you’re all soldiers! Getting anointed is a heck of a lot better than having to go through boot camp, isn’t it? Can I get a hallelujah?”
    A few of the attendees, James included, said, “Hallelujah.”
    Pastor Preston said, “That’s it? God can’t hear you all the way up in heaven. Shout it out. Hallelujah! ”
    This time everyone joined in. Pastor Preston said, “That’s it. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Soldiers of Christ, hallelujah!”
    Soon everyone in the room was chanting “hallelujah” at a high volume. It gave James a new sense of power and pride. Pastor Preston said, “And now, my soldiers, it’s time for our first mission, which is obviously completely voluntary, but I think it’ll be fun for everyone. It’ll be in a few weeks and we’ll have doughnuts. It’ll just be a good time.
    â€œSo here’s what it is. As I’m sure you’re all aware, one of Satan’s most successful military campaigns in recent years has been his attack on the sanctity of marriage. Thank Almighty God that our glorious state hasn’t fallen. But, as you know, our neighboring state can’t say the same. Now, this doesn’t mean that we can’t take up the fight for our Christian brothers and sisters who live only a few hundred miles away. We have to be willing to go to where the fight is, instead of waiting for it to come to us, because by that time it might be too late. And on top of that, we’re soldiers. Soldiers get deployed to wherever they’re needed most. So we’re deploying in two weeks, and then we’re going to march.”
    Pastor Preston carried on, giving the details of the march, which he had planned to lead to the steps of a city