Stork Naked

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Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: Humor, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
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be her hobby. She has time to give it full attention.”
    Pyra returned with a tray. “I do. Plants make excellent companions, demanding little, providing sweet flowers and tasty fruits.” She set the tray on a stone table. “Baked apples, toasted buns, baked potatoes, roasted chestnuts, burned beans, boiling beverage—I'm afraid I'm not good with cold refreshments.”
    “These will certainly do,” Che said, as the two of them attacked the meal with ferocious appetites.
    “One man passed by here some time ago with the talent of growing plants on animals. He offered to grow some on the monsters, but I declined. So we don't have any plants here that rare.”
    “Surely just as well,” Surprise agreed, suppressing a shudder. She didn't care even to visualize such a plant.
    “It is not that I am possessive of the Mask,” Pyra said as they ate. “Indeed, I wouldn't mind giving it up in exchange for a decent life with a worthwhile companion. It's that I am responsible for it, and until I find a successor, I must meet my responsibility. Someone who won't mind the isolation.”
    “That is understandable and worthy,” Che said around a mouthful. “It is a potent device that could cause much mischief if wrongly used.”
    “It certainly could. That is why it is here. The isolation is to protect it, not me. But apart from that, you would have difficulty using it without considerable training. Like other powerful tools, it seems simple but is not simple to control.”
    Surprise noted that the woman was not at all as the demoness had described her, eagerly grabbing any available man. She was reasonable and lucid. That was an incidental warning: don't be too quick to trust what demons said. However, the news about the monsters surrounding the castle had been accurate. So it wasn't smart to be too quick to disbelieve, either.
    They caught up on their meal enough to abate their sudden hunger and discuss the matter with better attention. “Thank you for the excellent repast,” Che said.
    “That was very kind of you,” Surprise said.
    Pyra thawed further. “You're welcome. Do you wish to see the Mask now?”
    Che elevated on eyebrow in an appealing way he had. “You do not hide it?”
    “There is no need. No one else could use it, as I said, and few reach the castle unscathed. Here is the Mask.” She lifted a square frame from the table beside the food tray.
    “It was under our noses!” Surprise exclaimed.
    Pyra shrugged, causing waves of fire to radiate from her shoulders. “As you see, this is a blank screen. That is deceptive. It is always active, but reverts to an everything state when not in use. What are you looking for?”
    “My baby,” Surprise said. “My human baby. I'm not really a centaur.”
    “I wondered. You did seem a bit emotional for that species, but of course centaurs vary, and the love elixir would stir up whatever passions you possess. But if you have a baby, how is it that you do not have it with you?”
    “That is my frustration. The stork brought it, then concluded that I was not old enough, and took it away undelivered. Now I mean to find it and get it back, though I confess I don't see how some mask can help me.”
    “It is a Reality Mask. It should be easier to understand once I demonstrate it.”
    “Please do,” Che said.
    Pyra held the frame up before her so that her face was hidden behind its pane. “When and where did this occur?”
    “This morning, at my home,” Surprise said, bemused. “Where my parents Grundy Golem and Surprise Elf live.”
    “Golem residence, morning,” Pyra murmured.
    The panel glowed and became a picture of the Golem house. The peeve perched on a tree branch outside it, watching for passing strangers. “That's it!” Surprise cried.
    “Fast forward,” Pyra said.
    The picture quivered. The bird zipped into the house. A monk chip scurried by at blinding velocity. Then a big bird plummeted down to the ground. It was the stork, with a bundle suspended

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