Stork Naked

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Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: Humor, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
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species possesses the mind it requires to function optimally. Humans are less rational and more emotional than centaurs, but have their points. You have phenomenal magic together with courage, common sense, and compassion. I love those things in you, literally. I know this is the immediate effect of the elixir, but it would have occurred in the course of our association regardless. You are worthy as a person.”
    Surprise found herself almost overwhelmed by his kind words. That, too, was an effect of the elixir. At the same time she was immensely relieved that the particular effect she had anticipated had not occurred. “Thank you.”
    “Now that we have felt the impact and expressed ourselves, there is no need to address this subject further. We must proceed to accomplish our mission.”
    “Agreed.” But she remained transported by the wonder of it. Love that was not possessive or guilty. That would not interfere with their other commitments.
    They came to the inner verge of the lake and trotted along through the forest there. They were on Lion Mountain, and had not gotten snapped up. They moved on up the slope, their centaur bodies handling the effort well. Now was the time to see if she could work a spell to nullify the effect of the elixir, but maybe it wasn't necessary.
    The ground was solid, but moved somewhat, as might the body of a monstrous animal as it breathed. Which aspect was dominant?
    In due course they reached the summit. Now Surprise could see that it was in the shape of a huge lion's head. At its top, between two peaks in the shape of ears, stood a castle. She realized that the castle was rather like an elaborate hat, or a crown.
    There was no forest surrounding the castle. Instead the area seemed to have been burned. That signaled the nature of its occupant.
    “Something maybe you should know,” Woe Betide piped up. “Here there be monsters.”
    Che halted at the edge of the scorched plain. “You are a child, but of course possess the knowledge of your adult form, excluding matters restricted by the Adult Conspiracy. Your two adult forms have gotten widely around, naturally, in the course of their mischievous quests. What do you know about Lion Mountain?”
    “That there is a deal between Pyra, Mistress of the Mask, and a number of male and female brutes.” Woe spoke with solid vocabulary and syntax, another legacy of her wide background. “Whoever comes through the love lake will fall in love with the first creature of opposite gender seen. Pyra doesn't want that to be her, because for all she knows it could be a three-eyed troll, so she lets assorted monsters surround the castle, and any visitors will encounter one of them first, and fall in love. Then the monster gets to depart with its love-slave.”
    “But doesn't that tend to isolate Pyra?” Surprise asked.
    “Sure. D. Vore once passed her way on other business, and she almost kissed him to death with fiery passion. She was so mad to learn he was already married to Xanth's most beautiful naga princess that she scorched all the furniture.”
    The other children tittered, and the peeve let out a loud caw-caw-caw. Startled, Surprise looked at them, and there were none. They had been left beyond the lake, and she had imagined their likely reaction. She would have to tame her half-guilty imagination.
    “Warning taken, thank you,” Che said. “With respect to both monsters and mistress.” He glanced at Surprise. “Fortunately we shall be able to explain to both that we crossed the lake together, so our love is already taken despite the preemptive effect of the elixir.”
    That did seem to be a viable story, Surprise thought. But she suffered a twinge. She had thought that her love for Che was largely intellectual, in the centaur manner, but now realized that it wasn't limited to that. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and—
    She stifled that thought. It was not Centaurly. She would suppress it and not say anything to him.
    Then Che did a

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