you said. About Grace. And
then I felt…funny.”
Noah narrows his eyes at me. “Are you feeling sorry
for my sister?”
No. Am I? That’s ridiculous. Though I guess that’s why
I was so angry at Lucifer when I saw how he’d trussed her up like a whore. I
thought it was just because I was thinking of myself, but maybe…
“I… I keep thinking about how Lucifer has her with my
assignment, and how I came right when you called but left her there.” I tell him
everything I’m thinking because I need someone to help me make sense of this.
“You feel guilty about leaving her to do Lucifer’s
bidding without you.” Noah laughs and settles back, like it’s all a big joke.
Well, it doesn’t feel very funny.
“Ugh. If this is guilt, I don’t like it. No wonder
Angels always seem so uptight. They’re trying to keep from spewing their lunch,”
I mumble. “Why on Earth would I be guilty, anyway? Grace made her own decision.
I told her not to do it, but she didn’t listen. It’s not my responsibility.
It’s not my fault Lucifer’s torturing her. Damn her! She’s contagious.”
I realize what I’ve said a minute too late. Noah stops
laughing and strokes the stubble on his face. “You told her not to fall?” he
asks.
“Well, yeah. Lucifer sent me to retrieve her, but I
panicked. I wanted to be with you, and I didn’t care how. I told her she’d be a
slave down here, but I thought maybe upstairs there’d be something to, you know…help
you.” I clear my throat, waiting for the rage.
Noah sits quietly for a minute, though, eyes dark and
brow furrowed so that he looks much older than his sixteen years. “You mean,
like, make me repent so I wouldn’t be the Antichrist anymore or something? How
would that help us be together?” he asks.
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought… I think… I
just didn’t want…” I pull in a deep breath, trying to steady myself so I can
spit it out. Finally, I hug the pillow tighter, pulling my knees up close and
staring at my hands. “I didn’t want you to become him . I love you, and I
didn’t want to lose who you are.”
There. I said it. Out loud. I could use a drink. Even
so, I stay still until I feel his hand brush my cheek.
“You won’t lose me, Keira. I have no desire to be like
Lucifer. In fact, I don’t think he’s doing such a fantastic job. For starters,
if I were in charge, you’d rule beside me. You’re a queen, Keira, not a servant.
Who knows? Maybe I will be in charge one day.”
I draw a sharp breath, eyes snapping to meet his. My
stomach flutters for a whole new reason, but this time it’s about us. Me, a
queen. What a beautiful thought.
But I know Lucifer. I’ve known him for centuries, and
as much as I want to believe in Noah, I can’t picture anyone succeeding if they
tried to take over. Nor can I bear the thought of Noah in the Pit for all of
eternity if he fails. But how can I explain that to Noah without losing him? He’ll
think I don’t “believe” in him.
“Keira?”
I haven’t moved. I’m not even sure if I’ve blinked.
But since I have no words to explain what I’m thinking, I do what I know I’m
good at and throw my arms around him, tackling him to the mattress and drowning
any more treasonous talk with kisses.
“I wonder,” Noah says as I explore every ridge on his
chest, “if I can send her back when I take over. So I don’t have to see her.”
“Hmm?” I ask, focused on his body.
“Grace.”
“Oh.” I stop and roll onto my back next to him. It seems
Grace is going to come between us in bed whether we like it or not. “If you
were in charge, you could take away her Demon status. But you can’t send her
back to Heaven, and she—” I stop before I let the words escape.
“She what?” he asks, leaning on his elbow to see my face.
He has that hard look again.
“It’s just that I can’t imagine her being tortured in
Hell for all of eternity,” I say, my voice breaking, whether from fear
then I felt…funny.”
Noah narrows his eyes at me. “Are you feeling sorry
for my sister?”
No. Am I? That’s ridiculous. Though I guess that’s why
I was so angry at Lucifer when I saw how he’d trussed her up like a whore. I
thought it was just because I was thinking of myself, but maybe…
“I… I keep thinking about how Lucifer has her with my
assignment, and how I came right when you called but left her there.” I tell him
everything I’m thinking because I need someone to help me make sense of this.
“You feel guilty about leaving her to do Lucifer’s
bidding without you.” Noah laughs and settles back, like it’s all a big joke.
Well, it doesn’t feel very funny.
“Ugh. If this is guilt, I don’t like it. No wonder
Angels always seem so uptight. They’re trying to keep from spewing their lunch,”
I mumble. “Why on Earth would I be guilty, anyway? Grace made her own decision.
I told her not to do it, but she didn’t listen. It’s not my responsibility.
It’s not my fault Lucifer’s torturing her. Damn her! She’s contagious.”
I realize what I’ve said a minute too late. Noah stops
laughing and strokes the stubble on his face. “You told her not to fall?” he
asks.
“Well, yeah. Lucifer sent me to retrieve her, but I
panicked. I wanted to be with you, and I didn’t care how. I told her she’d be a
slave down here, but I thought maybe upstairs there’d be something to, you know…help
you.” I clear my throat, waiting for the rage.
Noah sits quietly for a minute, though, eyes dark and
brow furrowed so that he looks much older than his sixteen years. “You mean,
like, make me repent so I wouldn’t be the Antichrist anymore or something? How
would that help us be together?” he asks.
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought… I think… I
just didn’t want…” I pull in a deep breath, trying to steady myself so I can
spit it out. Finally, I hug the pillow tighter, pulling my knees up close and
staring at my hands. “I didn’t want you to become him . I love you, and I
didn’t want to lose who you are.”
There. I said it. Out loud. I could use a drink. Even
so, I stay still until I feel his hand brush my cheek.
“You won’t lose me, Keira. I have no desire to be like
Lucifer. In fact, I don’t think he’s doing such a fantastic job. For starters,
if I were in charge, you’d rule beside me. You’re a queen, Keira, not a servant.
Who knows? Maybe I will be in charge one day.”
I draw a sharp breath, eyes snapping to meet his. My
stomach flutters for a whole new reason, but this time it’s about us. Me, a
queen. What a beautiful thought.
But I know Lucifer. I’ve known him for centuries, and
as much as I want to believe in Noah, I can’t picture anyone succeeding if they
tried to take over. Nor can I bear the thought of Noah in the Pit for all of
eternity if he fails. But how can I explain that to Noah without losing him? He’ll
think I don’t “believe” in him.
“Keira?”
I haven’t moved. I’m not even sure if I’ve blinked.
But since I have no words to explain what I’m thinking, I do what I know I’m
good at and throw my arms around him, tackling him to the mattress and drowning
any more treasonous talk with kisses.
“I wonder,” Noah says as I explore every ridge on his
chest, “if I can send her back when I take over. So I don’t have to see her.”
“Hmm?” I ask, focused on his body.
“Grace.”
“Oh.” I stop and roll onto my back next to him. It seems
Grace is going to come between us in bed whether we like it or not. “If you
were in charge, you could take away her Demon status. But you can’t send her
back to Heaven, and she—” I stop before I let the words escape.
“She what?” he asks, leaning on his elbow to see my face.
He has that hard look again.
“It’s just that I can’t imagine her being tortured in
Hell for all of eternity,” I say, my voice breaking, whether from fear
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