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Authors: Annoying Actor Friend @Actor_Friend
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than four weeks. So… Like… That’s every tour . SETA was originally
created to protect the integrity of the Production Contract. Production
Contracts are negotiated between the union and producers before SETA, to
prevent concessions granted in the SETA contract from creeping into the
Production Contract. At some point in the process, the SETA contract clawed its
dirty ass out of the sewer where it had been biding time and building strength
crudding up mucous and feeding off pond scum – and slashed the shit out
of the Production Contract.
Fuck It, Cheers!
It was around this time in the national touring
downward spiral that I gave up, married an IATSE member, and moved to Jersey to
sell real estate. I was like, “EFF THIS. I’ll let the stably employed spouse
provide, while I wait for Broadway to call again.” On another note, if you ever
want to know what’s happening with that workshop or out-of-town tryout you did,
talk to the IATSE guys. They know what theatre a show is going into before the
theatre owner.
After I quit touring, I got a bit disconnected from
how things went down between 2008 and 2011. I’ve even logged onto Google to
fill in the holes and complete the code, but it’s unclear exactly when the top
three tiers in the Tiered Production Contract got the “Red Wedding” treatment. It’s
like – one day I woke up and the first national tour of Memphis ,
the Tony Award winner for Best Musical, was on a SETA contract, and I was like
– WTF? SETA all of a sudden had a first, second, and third category.
Pretty soon every tour was SETA. You know that when the Les Miserables tour
goes out SETA, we’re all screwed. Luckily, the “integrity of the Production
Contract” is safe because IT DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE. The only producers who send
out Full Production Contract tours these days are just trying to share the size
of their man parts.
Don’t get me wrong; the SETA tour isn’t all that bad.
The top category’s weekly salary is $917 less than Production Contract, but you
get free housing! You don’t get free housing in New York! You also get $48 a
day to pay for food! I mean, you can buy groceries for one week from a single day
of per diem – unless you get stuck in a hotel with only a refrigerator and
a microwave, which is often. It’s amazing how fast you can burn through $48
before dinner because you don’t have a kitchen, and the thought of microwaving
egg whites one more time is disheartening.
Actors on tour used to live off their per diem and
bank their salary. I’m dating myself, right? In any given city, a healthy
omelet, green juice, Panera lunch, and sensible dinner will put you well over
your per diem – and god forbid you want a glass of wine or toke of reefer
after the show. If you’re without a kitchen on tour and want to save money,
you’re going to have to choose between your bank account and your body. Should
you choose the former, then kiss your waist goodbye, because it’s damn near
impossible to maintain your physique and fit into your costumes when the only
way to bank your salary is via Clif Bars and McDonald’s. #whatididforlove.
SETA also allows you to travel forty hours a week (and
up to ten hours a day) in a bus if it’s necessary. There’s even a clause in the
contract that allows for twelve-hour travel days for every thirteen weeks
– but they can be executed all at once if the producer wishes. That means
that for every fifty-two-week period, you might have to endure a twelve-hour
travel day, four times . I wouldn’t sweat the long travel days. I’m
certainly too old to sit in hip-flexion for ten hours after a five show
weekend, but you should be fine if you allot some of that per diem to Epsom
salt and a foam roller.
The Light is Getting Dimmer
While I could continue discussing why the present
touring life isn’t quite what it was in the past, I think it’s important we
look toward the future. The national tour contract tumbled down the
created to protect the integrity of the Production Contract. Production
Contracts are negotiated between the union and producers before SETA, to
prevent concessions granted in the SETA contract from creeping into the
Production Contract. At some point in the process, the SETA contract clawed its
dirty ass out of the sewer where it had been biding time and building strength
crudding up mucous and feeding off pond scum – and slashed the shit out
of the Production Contract.
Fuck It, Cheers!
It was around this time in the national touring
downward spiral that I gave up, married an IATSE member, and moved to Jersey to
sell real estate. I was like, “EFF THIS. I’ll let the stably employed spouse
provide, while I wait for Broadway to call again.” On another note, if you ever
want to know what’s happening with that workshop or out-of-town tryout you did,
talk to the IATSE guys. They know what theatre a show is going into before the
theatre owner.
After I quit touring, I got a bit disconnected from
how things went down between 2008 and 2011. I’ve even logged onto Google to
fill in the holes and complete the code, but it’s unclear exactly when the top
three tiers in the Tiered Production Contract got the “Red Wedding” treatment. It’s
like – one day I woke up and the first national tour of Memphis ,
the Tony Award winner for Best Musical, was on a SETA contract, and I was like
– WTF? SETA all of a sudden had a first, second, and third category.
Pretty soon every tour was SETA. You know that when the Les Miserables tour
goes out SETA, we’re all screwed. Luckily, the “integrity of the Production
Contract” is safe because IT DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE. The only producers who send
out Full Production Contract tours these days are just trying to share the size
of their man parts.
Don’t get me wrong; the SETA tour isn’t all that bad.
The top category’s weekly salary is $917 less than Production Contract, but you
get free housing! You don’t get free housing in New York! You also get $48 a
day to pay for food! I mean, you can buy groceries for one week from a single day
of per diem – unless you get stuck in a hotel with only a refrigerator and
a microwave, which is often. It’s amazing how fast you can burn through $48
before dinner because you don’t have a kitchen, and the thought of microwaving
egg whites one more time is disheartening.
Actors on tour used to live off their per diem and
bank their salary. I’m dating myself, right? In any given city, a healthy
omelet, green juice, Panera lunch, and sensible dinner will put you well over
your per diem – and god forbid you want a glass of wine or toke of reefer
after the show. If you’re without a kitchen on tour and want to save money,
you’re going to have to choose between your bank account and your body. Should
you choose the former, then kiss your waist goodbye, because it’s damn near
impossible to maintain your physique and fit into your costumes when the only
way to bank your salary is via Clif Bars and McDonald’s. #whatididforlove.
SETA also allows you to travel forty hours a week (and
up to ten hours a day) in a bus if it’s necessary. There’s even a clause in the
contract that allows for twelve-hour travel days for every thirteen weeks
– but they can be executed all at once if the producer wishes. That means
that for every fifty-two-week period, you might have to endure a twelve-hour
travel day, four times . I wouldn’t sweat the long travel days. I’m
certainly too old to sit in hip-flexion for ten hours after a five show
weekend, but you should be fine if you allot some of that per diem to Epsom
salt and a foam roller.
The Light is Getting Dimmer
While I could continue discussing why the present
touring life isn’t quite what it was in the past, I think it’s important we
look toward the future. The national tour contract tumbled down the
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