Read Online Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman - Free Book Online
Authors: Audrey Shulman
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and salt.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the yogurt; stir until just combined. With a rubber spatula, gently fold in the egg whites until thoroughly incorporated. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : In a chilled bowl, using a chilled whisk or electric mixer with the whisk attachment, whip the cream and lime juice until stiff peaks form. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top. Garnish with strips of lime.
A
MEMORABLE CAKE REJECTIONS
(1) “I just opened my beer.”
(2) “We just spent three hours at Souplantation.”
(3) “I’m more of a pie person.”
(4) “Can you get that off of our table?”
(5) “I’m allergic to pumpkin.”
(6) “I just came from a party with cake.”
(7) “It’s gym day.”
(8) “I’m an alcoholic.”
(9) “I’m not exactly a chocolate guy.”
(10) [Too intoxicated to formulate answer.]
A
The Guy Who Thought This Was an Art Project
He’d noticed me rotating around the bar for the past hour or so, doling out cake to strangers before making my way to his table. “I love you and what you’re about,” he said, gesturing toward me and my handful of plastic forks. It was the equivalent of a sophisticated high-five from one aesthete to another.
It took me a moment to realize that he was under the impression that my cake-related actions were solely in the name of art.
We were in the type of place where it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for a girl to be offering cake as a creative endeavor; most of the other patrons were ethereal hipsters in overalls or couples in head-to-toe vintage discussing the current crisis in Syria. Ke$ha had just walked out of a corner room.
Perhaps this guy imagined I would return home and put together a found object installation based on my experiences that night, or make a three-dimensional pie chart out of discarded food and videotape myself eating it the next day for breakfast. He wasn’t seeing this for the endgame that it was, which, while imaginative, was really just about finding someone to make out with on a regular basis.
The assumption was flattering; not only did I seem wildly creative, but also maybe I wasn’t looking as suspicious as I thought.
You may find yourself in an unintentional performance piece.
A
Sangria Party Cake with Triple Sec Frosting
For sculptors, dancers, interdisciplinary artists, or anyone who looks like they belong in a Free People catalog.
For the cake:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup (200 g) sugar
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon orange flavoring
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup (120 ml) red wine
For the frosting:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 cups (300 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
3 tablespoons triple sec
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the lime juice and orange flavoring.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the wine; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the yogurt; stir until just combined. With a rubber spatula, gently fold in the egg whites until thoroughly incorporated. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : In a chilled bowl, using a chilled whisk or electric mixer with the whisk attachment, whip the cream and lime juice until stiff peaks form. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top. Garnish with strips of lime.
A
MEMORABLE CAKE REJECTIONS
(1) “I just opened my beer.”
(2) “We just spent three hours at Souplantation.”
(3) “I’m more of a pie person.”
(4) “Can you get that off of our table?”
(5) “I’m allergic to pumpkin.”
(6) “I just came from a party with cake.”
(7) “It’s gym day.”
(8) “I’m an alcoholic.”
(9) “I’m not exactly a chocolate guy.”
(10) [Too intoxicated to formulate answer.]
A
The Guy Who Thought This Was an Art Project
He’d noticed me rotating around the bar for the past hour or so, doling out cake to strangers before making my way to his table. “I love you and what you’re about,” he said, gesturing toward me and my handful of plastic forks. It was the equivalent of a sophisticated high-five from one aesthete to another.
It took me a moment to realize that he was under the impression that my cake-related actions were solely in the name of art.
We were in the type of place where it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for a girl to be offering cake as a creative endeavor; most of the other patrons were ethereal hipsters in overalls or couples in head-to-toe vintage discussing the current crisis in Syria. Ke$ha had just walked out of a corner room.
Perhaps this guy imagined I would return home and put together a found object installation based on my experiences that night, or make a three-dimensional pie chart out of discarded food and videotape myself eating it the next day for breakfast. He wasn’t seeing this for the endgame that it was, which, while imaginative, was really just about finding someone to make out with on a regular basis.
The assumption was flattering; not only did I seem wildly creative, but also maybe I wasn’t looking as suspicious as I thought.
You may find yourself in an unintentional performance piece.
A
Sangria Party Cake with Triple Sec Frosting
For sculptors, dancers, interdisciplinary artists, or anyone who looks like they belong in a Free People catalog.
For the cake:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup (200 g) sugar
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon orange flavoring
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup (120 ml) red wine
For the frosting:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 cups (300 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
3 tablespoons triple sec
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the lime juice and orange flavoring.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the wine; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center
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