Read Online Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Audrey Shulman
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of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in the triple sec until fluffy and smooth. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.
A
The Guy Who Directed Adult Films
We should have known something was off by the mustache, but then again, most guys are currently sporting this same sign of bad judgment if they’ve recently purchased a bike or want in on the L.A. improv scene.
The guy in question seemed normal enough by cake-eater standards, gaining some credibility upon mentioning he went to an East Coast school and asking a couple of courteous questions; he even had some nice things to say about the cake. I was just starting to warm up to his bad ’stache and girl jeans when what he did for a living came up.
“I’m an adult film director,” he said, nodding, and took another bite of cake. It was as though he had just told us he was a speech therapist or an accountant, or ran the pretzel kiosk at the mall, as though this particular line of work was so in keeping with contemporary societal norms that it required no further explanation or disclaimer.
“Do you enjoy your work?” one of my friends asked politely, not missing a beat.
I’m not sure how fulfilling this guy found his current career path to be, as I managed to black out during his answer and came to while ordering a virgin mojito.
A
Seedy Cherry Cocktail Cake with Brandy Frosting
For guys inclined toward mixed drinks or those whose work you find to be generally squalid.
For the cake:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1½ cups (300 g) sugar
3 large eggs
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups (300 g) cherries, halved and pitted
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons (90 ml) brandy
¼ cup (60 ml) milk
For the frosting:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
4 cups (400 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2 to 3 tablespoons brandy
2 to 3 tablespoons milk
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the vanilla, then the cherries.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the brandy and milk; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in brandy, to taste, and add milk a little at a time, beating until fluffy and smooth. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.
A
The Guy Who Liked Guys
Maybe I should have been tipped off by the expensive product in this guy’s hair, since mine contained only sweat from the oven and a handful of forgotten bobby pins. Maybe I should have realized something was up by his catalog-quality outfit, since the sleeves of my cardigan were stained with frosting. Or maybe I should have gotten the hint when his circle of hyper-attractive guy friends appeared, who were all just as polished and put together
To make the frosting : Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in the triple sec until fluffy and smooth. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.
A
The Guy Who Directed Adult Films
We should have known something was off by the mustache, but then again, most guys are currently sporting this same sign of bad judgment if they’ve recently purchased a bike or want in on the L.A. improv scene.
The guy in question seemed normal enough by cake-eater standards, gaining some credibility upon mentioning he went to an East Coast school and asking a couple of courteous questions; he even had some nice things to say about the cake. I was just starting to warm up to his bad ’stache and girl jeans when what he did for a living came up.
“I’m an adult film director,” he said, nodding, and took another bite of cake. It was as though he had just told us he was a speech therapist or an accountant, or ran the pretzel kiosk at the mall, as though this particular line of work was so in keeping with contemporary societal norms that it required no further explanation or disclaimer.
“Do you enjoy your work?” one of my friends asked politely, not missing a beat.
I’m not sure how fulfilling this guy found his current career path to be, as I managed to black out during his answer and came to while ordering a virgin mojito.
A
Seedy Cherry Cocktail Cake with Brandy Frosting
For guys inclined toward mixed drinks or those whose work you find to be generally squalid.
For the cake:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1½ cups (300 g) sugar
3 large eggs
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups (300 g) cherries, halved and pitted
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons (90 ml) brandy
¼ cup (60 ml) milk
For the frosting:
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
4 cups (400 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2 to 3 tablespoons brandy
2 to 3 tablespoons milk
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the vanilla, then the cherries.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt.
Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the brandy and milk; stir until just combined. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in brandy, to taste, and add milk a little at a time, beating until fluffy and smooth. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.
A
The Guy Who Liked Guys
Maybe I should have been tipped off by the expensive product in this guy’s hair, since mine contained only sweat from the oven and a handful of forgotten bobby pins. Maybe I should have realized something was up by his catalog-quality outfit, since the sleeves of my cardigan were stained with frosting. Or maybe I should have gotten the hint when his circle of hyper-attractive guy friends appeared, who were all just as polished and put together
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