Read Online Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Audrey Shulman
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as he was.
Before I knew it, they’d congregated around my cake in their unwrinkled shirts, asking polite questions and drawing me in with their mature conversational skills, voiced in dreamy baritones. It was like hanging out with civilian Ryan Gosling times four.
The guy I’d met first complimented my frosting and my eyes must have glazed over, betraying my blatant hetero attraction.
“Um, you should know we’re all gay,” he said gently, acknowledging his stunning friends. It was almost as if he expected me to take back the cake I’d just given to them.
“The cake is for everyone!” I said, waving a hand. “Of course I knew that.” I hadn’t.
They had really seemed straight—if only by the fact that they actually wanted to eat the cake.
A
Peachy Keen Cake with Minty Frosting
For the LGBT contingent, but can also be served up for a straight audience any day of the week.
For the cake:
1 cup (2 sticks/230 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1½ cups (300 g) sugar
3 large eggs
1 cup (280 g) pureed peaches (canned is fine; you’ll need one 15-ounce/425-g can of sliced peaches, drained)
½ cup (85 g) white chocolate chips, melted and cooled slightly
2½ cups (315 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
For the frosting:
¼ cup (50 g) sugar
2 large sprigs mint, torn
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
4 cups (400 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
1 to 2 tablespoons milk, if needed
Mint leaves, for garnish
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the peaches and the white chocolate.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : In a small saucepan, combine the sugar, mint, and ¼ cup (60 ml) water and bring to a boil over medium heat. Let cool completely, then strain into a cup and discard the mint; you should have about 3 tablespoons of mint simple syrup.
Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in the syrup until fluffy and smooth, adding milk a little at a time, if needed. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top and sides. Garnish with mint leaves.
A
The Guy Who Took My Cake
I must have given this guy the impression that I was very literally trying to get rid of my cake as, without a word, he took it from my hands and started offering it to other people at the bar, flat-out stealing my job. To stop him would have been to acknowledge there was a strategy behind the distribution, so I looked on helplessly as he worked the crowd, handing out the spoils of my labor. It was only when I saw him start advertising to a group of single girls that I felt it grounds to intercede, gently guiding him back to our table and reclaiming what was left of the beautiful cake.
While I privately resented him the rest of the time he sat with us, I had to give him credit for his tenacity.
I suppose this gesture should have been interpreted as helpful, not as an effort to overthrow my one-woman hostessing show. The guy had no way of knowing that this particular cake took me two-and-a-half hours to make and I only had fifteen to eighteen small- to medium-size pieces at my disposal.
I won’t pretend I’m not subconsciously
Before I knew it, they’d congregated around my cake in their unwrinkled shirts, asking polite questions and drawing me in with their mature conversational skills, voiced in dreamy baritones. It was like hanging out with civilian Ryan Gosling times four.
The guy I’d met first complimented my frosting and my eyes must have glazed over, betraying my blatant hetero attraction.
“Um, you should know we’re all gay,” he said gently, acknowledging his stunning friends. It was almost as if he expected me to take back the cake I’d just given to them.
“The cake is for everyone!” I said, waving a hand. “Of course I knew that.” I hadn’t.
They had really seemed straight—if only by the fact that they actually wanted to eat the cake.
A
Peachy Keen Cake with Minty Frosting
For the LGBT contingent, but can also be served up for a straight audience any day of the week.
For the cake:
1 cup (2 sticks/230 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1½ cups (300 g) sugar
3 large eggs
1 cup (280 g) pureed peaches (canned is fine; you’ll need one 15-ounce/425-g can of sliced peaches, drained)
½ cup (85 g) white chocolate chips, melted and cooled slightly
2½ cups (315 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
For the frosting:
¼ cup (50 g) sugar
2 large sprigs mint, torn
½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
4 cups (400 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
1 to 2 tablespoons milk, if needed
Mint leaves, for garnish
To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the peaches and the white chocolate.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one layer to a serving platter.
To make the frosting : In a small saucepan, combine the sugar, mint, and ¼ cup (60 ml) water and bring to a boil over medium heat. Let cool completely, then strain into a cup and discard the mint; you should have about 3 tablespoons of mint simple syrup.
Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in the syrup until fluffy and smooth, adding milk a little at a time, if needed. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top and sides. Garnish with mint leaves.
A
The Guy Who Took My Cake
I must have given this guy the impression that I was very literally trying to get rid of my cake as, without a word, he took it from my hands and started offering it to other people at the bar, flat-out stealing my job. To stop him would have been to acknowledge there was a strategy behind the distribution, so I looked on helplessly as he worked the crowd, handing out the spoils of my labor. It was only when I saw him start advertising to a group of single girls that I felt it grounds to intercede, gently guiding him back to our table and reclaiming what was left of the beautiful cake.
While I privately resented him the rest of the time he sat with us, I had to give him credit for his tenacity.
I suppose this gesture should have been interpreted as helpful, not as an effort to overthrow my one-woman hostessing show. The guy had no way of knowing that this particular cake took me two-and-a-half hours to make and I only had fifteen to eighteen small- to medium-size pieces at my disposal.
I won’t pretend I’m not subconsciously
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