report and got up with a painful grunt, trying to shake off my hangover and wondering which was more urgent, the door or the bathroom. I ultimately chose the door, which I ended up regretting as soon as I opened it, and found Mr. Norton’s ugly face scowling at me, still hitting the door with the head of his cane.
I blinked, half hoping he might disappear once I woke up more. “Mr. Norton?” I rasped.
“Do you have my rent, freeloader?”
“You said I had until the end of the week.”
“It’s a legit question.”
“No, I don’t have it.”
“Then I hope you know a good cheap hotel.”
“Do I have until the end of the week or not?”
“I’m seriously questioning it.”
It was a terrible temptation to just slam the door right on his big, gourd-shaped nose, but my better judgment held out. And I’m really glad I didn’t because of what I saw a second later. “Is the old guy bothering you?” a familiar voice said.
I
looked up, and blinked several times, thinking at first that I must still be delirious from drinking too much. But I soon realized that the person I was seeing behind Mr. Norton was in fact really there.
“Max?” I gasped.
“Hey Billie.”
I think I knocked Mr. Norton right on his rusty hip replacement in my rush to embrace Max. I wasn’t paying attention to the old stinker anymore. I jumped into Max’s arms, throwing my legs around his waist and showering his face with kisses.
“Whoa, whoa, I’m happy to see you too, but easy, girl!”
I calmed down enough to put my feet back on the floor, and guided him into my apartment, stepping over the prone form of Mr. Norton, who grunted up at me, “I think you broke my good hip!”
“And ain’t that a bitch,” I said before closing the door on him.
Max made a move to advance on me, but I held up a hand to stop him, suddenly conscious of my less than auspicious state. “I’m sorry, I’m just a mess right now. I’m kind of hung over, and I really need to pee. And be honest with me, how’s my hair? If it looks like I just slept on the couch after too many Coronas, it’s because that’s exactly what I did.”
“You’re a damn sight better than not seeing you was.”
I was sorely tempted to kiss him some more, but that would have to wait until I was more presentable. “I’ll be back after I freshen up,” I said. “Make yourself at home.”
I relieved myself, showered and brushed my teeth, and was about to step back out of the bathroom when I stopped and looked down at the towel I was wrapped in. I grinned to myself, remembering whose company I was in and decided I should start rethinking some of my trained habits. I hung the towel back on the rack, and stepped out again buck-naked.
Max was apparently hungry as… well, a bear, since I found him with his head in my fridge when I returned. “You don’t have any ham, do you?”
“Never been much of a cook,” I shrugged. “Can you make do?”
“It may not be exactly Chateau le Max but I think I can come up with something. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“Literally just woke up right before you got here.”
“Perfect! Breakfast for two!”
I watched him start pulling ingredients from the fridge, not paying attention to what they were. I was just looking at him. As he set them down on the counter, I stepped up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, finally getting him to look at me. “Max,” I said, “not that I’m not delighted to see you, but what the hell are you doing here?”
“Well isn’t that obvious?” he said, putting a hand on my naked hip. “I missed the fuck out of you, so I came down to see you.”
“After one day?”
“Are you going to stand there and tell me you weren’t dying to see me too?” He had a cocky smirk on his face as he said this, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t right. So I answered him with a
I blinked, half hoping he might disappear once I woke up more. “Mr. Norton?” I rasped.
“Do you have my rent, freeloader?”
“You said I had until the end of the week.”
“It’s a legit question.”
“No, I don’t have it.”
“Then I hope you know a good cheap hotel.”
“Do I have until the end of the week or not?”
“I’m seriously questioning it.”
It was a terrible temptation to just slam the door right on his big, gourd-shaped nose, but my better judgment held out. And I’m really glad I didn’t because of what I saw a second later. “Is the old guy bothering you?” a familiar voice said.
I
looked up, and blinked several times, thinking at first that I must still be delirious from drinking too much. But I soon realized that the person I was seeing behind Mr. Norton was in fact really there.
“Max?” I gasped.
“Hey Billie.”
I think I knocked Mr. Norton right on his rusty hip replacement in my rush to embrace Max. I wasn’t paying attention to the old stinker anymore. I jumped into Max’s arms, throwing my legs around his waist and showering his face with kisses.
“Whoa, whoa, I’m happy to see you too, but easy, girl!”
I calmed down enough to put my feet back on the floor, and guided him into my apartment, stepping over the prone form of Mr. Norton, who grunted up at me, “I think you broke my good hip!”
“And ain’t that a bitch,” I said before closing the door on him.
Max made a move to advance on me, but I held up a hand to stop him, suddenly conscious of my less than auspicious state. “I’m sorry, I’m just a mess right now. I’m kind of hung over, and I really need to pee. And be honest with me, how’s my hair? If it looks like I just slept on the couch after too many Coronas, it’s because that’s exactly what I did.”
“You’re a damn sight better than not seeing you was.”
I was sorely tempted to kiss him some more, but that would have to wait until I was more presentable. “I’ll be back after I freshen up,” I said. “Make yourself at home.”
I relieved myself, showered and brushed my teeth, and was about to step back out of the bathroom when I stopped and looked down at the towel I was wrapped in. I grinned to myself, remembering whose company I was in and decided I should start rethinking some of my trained habits. I hung the towel back on the rack, and stepped out again buck-naked.
Max was apparently hungry as… well, a bear, since I found him with his head in my fridge when I returned. “You don’t have any ham, do you?”
“Never been much of a cook,” I shrugged. “Can you make do?”
“It may not be exactly Chateau le Max but I think I can come up with something. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“Literally just woke up right before you got here.”
“Perfect! Breakfast for two!”
I watched him start pulling ingredients from the fridge, not paying attention to what they were. I was just looking at him. As he set them down on the counter, I stepped up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, finally getting him to look at me. “Max,” I said, “not that I’m not delighted to see you, but what the hell are you doing here?”
“Well isn’t that obvious?” he said, putting a hand on my naked hip. “I missed the fuck out of you, so I came down to see you.”
“After one day?”
“Are you going to stand there and tell me you weren’t dying to see me too?” He had a cocky smirk on his face as he said this, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t right. So I answered him with a
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