mourning for Joe. He’s in a much better place. I know you believe that as much as I do. And you’re not mourning for Dustin. He’s too young to remember his father. He just wishes he had one. You’re mourning for yourself, and I think six years is long enough. No, it’s too long - it’s selfish and it’s not fair to the people who love and care about you. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, and while we’re here the Lord expects us to celebrate and enjoy his gifts. Life is for the living, Sandi.”
Sandi began to cry and responded angrily. “You’re not the one who pulled the plug on her husband. You’re not the one who killed the father of her child. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Honey, I’m the one who put you in that position. You didn’t have a choice. If you need to blame somebody for the hand you were dealt, then blame me. And I do understand all about the taking of life. I understand it far too well.”
Sandi was doing her best to compose herself. “Can we talk about why him now?”
Rodger smiled softly. “That’s an easy one. You’ve googled him haven’t you?”
Sandi shook her head yes as she dried her tears on her shirtsleeve and blew her nose in a paper napkin.
“Let me tell you about a guy in Korea.”
Sandi was more than surprised that her father had made two references to the war he had fought. Two references in the last five minutes. He never spoke about it. He tersely ended all conversation that even touched on it. Maybe the old man was finally dealing with some demons of his own.
“He was in my platoon, and woke up with a hell of a hangover one day. Claimed he was sick and reported to the infirmary. So his platoon got ambushed that morning and took god-awful casualties. His best friend was killed. They had always covered each other’s backs. After that, he volunteered for every dangerous mission that came along. Everybody said he was trying to commit suicide by volunteering. Probably was. But he had to do it. It was the only way he could deal with the guilt and prove that he wasn’t a coward.”
“Did he make it?”
“Somehow. Got a bunch of medals. Everybody said he was a hero, but he knew better.”
Sandi understood his point. Sam also had something to prove before he could move on. It was time to lighten up the mood before she left for work. She gave him her best dumb blond look. “So you’re saying Sam’s trying to commit suicide by taking this job?”
Rodger scowled. “It’s a comparative metaphor, not a literal one, bonehead.”
Sandi challenged the old man with her tone. “Where do you get all those big words? Do you even know what they mean?”
“Yeah, I do. Because I read instead of sitting in front of the flickering mind mush machine all night. It’s a good thing that kid of yours doesn’t take after his mother.”
Sandi smiled. “He is a smart one isn’t he? Says he wants to be a vet like his Uncle Jack.”
“Well, you tell him his Uncle Jack’s a wuss. Cows and horses need vets a lot more than poodles and hairless cats.”
Betty Rimes was roused out of another task. “I warned you once already, Rodger. Why don’t you put your boots on and think about getting a little work done around this place.”
“Oh, settle down. I’m just kiddin’ around. But Sandi has a point about Dustin. Looks like I’ll need some more grandbabies around here if I’m gonna con one of ‘em into taking over this place someday.”
Sandi jumped up and planted a big kiss on her father’s cheek. “It’s definitely time for me to go. And I really am late. I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too. You have a good day, honey.”
It was 11:15 on a bright fall morning. Sam was using both hands to maneuver the creaking Land Cruiser around the spiraling entrance ramp to the short term parking garage at Albuquerque International Airport. Sandi
Sandi began to cry and responded angrily. “You’re not the one who pulled the plug on her husband. You’re not the one who killed the father of her child. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Honey, I’m the one who put you in that position. You didn’t have a choice. If you need to blame somebody for the hand you were dealt, then blame me. And I do understand all about the taking of life. I understand it far too well.”
Sandi was doing her best to compose herself. “Can we talk about why him now?”
Rodger smiled softly. “That’s an easy one. You’ve googled him haven’t you?”
Sandi shook her head yes as she dried her tears on her shirtsleeve and blew her nose in a paper napkin.
“Let me tell you about a guy in Korea.”
Sandi was more than surprised that her father had made two references to the war he had fought. Two references in the last five minutes. He never spoke about it. He tersely ended all conversation that even touched on it. Maybe the old man was finally dealing with some demons of his own.
“He was in my platoon, and woke up with a hell of a hangover one day. Claimed he was sick and reported to the infirmary. So his platoon got ambushed that morning and took god-awful casualties. His best friend was killed. They had always covered each other’s backs. After that, he volunteered for every dangerous mission that came along. Everybody said he was trying to commit suicide by volunteering. Probably was. But he had to do it. It was the only way he could deal with the guilt and prove that he wasn’t a coward.”
“Did he make it?”
“Somehow. Got a bunch of medals. Everybody said he was a hero, but he knew better.”
Sandi understood his point. Sam also had something to prove before he could move on. It was time to lighten up the mood before she left for work. She gave him her best dumb blond look. “So you’re saying Sam’s trying to commit suicide by taking this job?”
Rodger scowled. “It’s a comparative metaphor, not a literal one, bonehead.”
Sandi challenged the old man with her tone. “Where do you get all those big words? Do you even know what they mean?”
“Yeah, I do. Because I read instead of sitting in front of the flickering mind mush machine all night. It’s a good thing that kid of yours doesn’t take after his mother.”
Sandi smiled. “He is a smart one isn’t he? Says he wants to be a vet like his Uncle Jack.”
“Well, you tell him his Uncle Jack’s a wuss. Cows and horses need vets a lot more than poodles and hairless cats.”
Betty Rimes was roused out of another task. “I warned you once already, Rodger. Why don’t you put your boots on and think about getting a little work done around this place.”
“Oh, settle down. I’m just kiddin’ around. But Sandi has a point about Dustin. Looks like I’ll need some more grandbabies around here if I’m gonna con one of ‘em into taking over this place someday.”
Sandi jumped up and planted a big kiss on her father’s cheek. “It’s definitely time for me to go. And I really am late. I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too. You have a good day, honey.”
It was 11:15 on a bright fall morning. Sam was using both hands to maneuver the creaking Land Cruiser around the spiraling entrance ramp to the short term parking garage at Albuquerque International Airport. Sandi
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