Read Online Sex and Other Changes by David Nobbs - Free Book Online

have been looking the subject up during the day. Maybe they had a library at the carriage works, and in amongst all the books about rolling stock she’d come across one about sex changes and had pored through it, eager to understand what he was letting himself in for and to find arguments to supporthim. What a woman! He hoped Mr Beresford realised how lucky he was. Alison was the ideal PA for him. In her work clothes she looked very presentable but not in any way sexy, so there was no risk of Mr Beresford fancying her and his wife perceiving her as a threat.
    They were moving again. He lowered all the windows, to get rid of the sweet tooth-rotting smell from the cake factory.
    When he got to work he’d make an appointment to see Doctor Rodgerson. He would feel easier doing that from the office than from his house.
    He turned left into Brindley Street and then right into the narrow alley that led to the hotel car park. The glass in the roof of the covered car park was tinted, and unwashed, so that the light in there was always an unhealthy yellow.
    He entered the hotel from the back. That way he could see the reception desk through a pair of glass doors before anyone there could see him. He stopped short of the doors and had a sneaky look. There were three guests … sorry, customers … waiting, and only one member of staff to deal with them. Bad! He hurried through the door and approached the desk. He heard one of the customers say, loudly, ‘Am I invisible or what?’
    He went up to the man and said, ‘Can I help you, sir? I’m the manager.’
    â€˜Ah!’ said the man. ‘Can you see me?’
    â€˜Certainly, sir,’ said Nick. ‘In my office straightaway, if you like.’
    â€˜No, no,’ he said. ‘You miss my drift. Can you see me? Am I visible?’
    â€˜Of course you are, sir.’
    â€˜I exist, do I? I am an extant being?’
    â€˜Well of course you are, sir.’
    â€˜Well will you tell that fucking cow on your reception desk that I am?’
    Ferenc, Ferenc, wherefore art thou at this hour?
    He should have said, ‘Sir, I am extremely sorry if the quality of our reception service has not met the standards you expect of the Cornucopia. However, the fault lies not with the one person on duty but with the fact that she has been left on her own, so I would be grateful if you were not insulting to her, and I will deal with you straightaway myself, sir.’
    He should not have said, ‘No, I will not, sir. None of my staff are copulating farm animals and if you can’t be polite I don’t want you in my hotel, so I couldn’t give a damn how long you wait.’
    No doubt he’d be in trouble over that. Hardly consistent with the Cornucopia Code of Conduct. Nor would Head Office be thrilled if he gave as his explanation, ‘I was feeling tense about my sex change.’
    On his way to his office he passed a notice board which stated ‘General Manager – Mr Nick Divot’. Not for long, he thought with relief. ‘Duty Manager – Mr Ferenc Gulyas’. He wondered what Ferenc would have to say about it. They went back a long way, Ferenc and he. A
long
way.
    He felt nervous as he phoned the surgery. Now that was ridiculous. He wasn’t even going to tell them what he was phoning about.
    He would have to wait until the following Tuesday to see Doctor Rodgerson. ‘Unless it’s an emergency.’
    â€˜Er … no, it’s not an emergency.’
    Doctor Humphries could have seen him that morning, but he didn’t want to see Doctor Humphries, nobody did, which was why he could have seen him that morning. He couldn’t say to Doctor Humphries, face to face, ‘I’m going to change sex.’ It would be hard enough even with Doctor Rodgerson.
    The very thought of changing sex made him want to pee. He hurried to the urinals. The cleaning roster hadn’t been signedsince 8.12 and it was