say what kind of work they do?’
‘They work at home — something to do with computers and money. One of those Internet things,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘She said that they moved here because life in the country is simple.’
‘Is it?’
‘Well she thought so. Then she asked me which cafe in Bogusville had the best cappuccinos.’
‘You mean those frothy little cups of coffee?’ Dr Trifle said.
‘Yes. She seemed surprised when I said there was only one cafe and they only had normal coffee. She also wanted to know which was the best gym and the best tennis club to join. I had to tell here that there weren’t any.’
‘I guess life here is more simple than in the city,’ Dr Trifle said, thoughtfully. ‘Speaking of puppies — I feel sorry for their dog.’
‘Equity is her name,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Why do you feel sorry for her?’
‘Equity, Equity, Equity,’ Selby thought, saying her name over and over in his head. ‘I’ll bet it’s the name of some ancient goddess. The goddess of beauty — or love. Oh Equity! Oh Equity! Oh Equity! I think I feel a poem coming on:
‘Her fur shines like the morning dew
It shimmers when she prances, too
It looks great from every angle
It’s loose and smooth and doesn’t ever
seem to tangle.’
‘She looks a bit lonely,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘She just lies around the front yard all day. I wonder if she’d get along with Selby.’
‘Oh, I hope so,’ Selby sighed. ‘My little heart is going to burst! I’m so in love I could faint. Or maybe I’ll swoon. Swooning sounds safer than fainting.’
As the joggers turned the corner at the end of the street the graceful dog turned her head, briefly.
‘She’s looking this way!’ Selby thought, fighting the urge to wave to her. ‘I wonder if she noticed me.’
Selby had visions of a glorious romance. Selby and Equity. Equity and Selby. He imagined himself scribbling their names on fences and drawing hearts around them.
‘I’ve got to make her fall in love with me,’ Selby thought. ‘Hmmm, how will I do it?’
Act II: Selby’s Plan
The next morning Selby slowly crossed the street to where Equity lay with her head on her paws.
‘What if she can’t stand the sight of me?’ he thought. ‘What if I can’t get her to notice my inner qualities? What if she bites me? Oh, look at her. She’s even more beautiful close up. My thoughts are spinning around in my head! I can hardly focus my eyes! I’m in agony — but it’s wonderful. Here comes another poem:
‘Oh heart, oh heart, oh I’ve been smitten
If love’s a bite, then I’ve been
bitten I’m all confused and I’m in pain!
Hang on! I think it bit me on the brain!’
‘What’s the best thing about me?’ Selby wondered. ‘Well, I’m not the most handsome dog in the world — and I’m short. But I have a good personality. That’s it! Hmmm, how do I show her my personality? I know: I’ll teach her to talk and then I’ll tell her Gary Gaggs’ jokes and things like that.’
‘Equity?’ Selby said out loud. ‘Equity?’
Equity gave him a startled stare.
‘My name is Selby,’ Selby said, pointing to himself.
Equity blinked and then looked at him again.
‘Try to say “Selby",’ Selby went on. ‘Ssssssssssss. Put your teeth together and your tongue at the top of your mouth and then blow. Sssssssss, like that. Ssssssssseeeeellllllllby.’
Equity tilted her head this way and that but didn’t make a sound.
‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to confuse you,’ Selby said. ‘How about saying “great” Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!’
‘Grrrrrrrrrrr,’ Equity growled back, adding a couple of barks.
‘Okay, stay cool,’ Selby said. ‘Now try putting an “ate” on it. Grrrrrrrrrr-ate!’
‘Grrrrrrrrrr!’ Equity growled.
‘Hang on, this isn’t
anger,
it’s
English.
Say “Selby is grrrrrrrr-ate"!’
‘ Grrrrrrrrrr,’ Equity growled again.
‘This isn’t working.’
Selby was just wondering what to do next when he heard a voice behind
‘They work at home — something to do with computers and money. One of those Internet things,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘She said that they moved here because life in the country is simple.’
‘Is it?’
‘Well she thought so. Then she asked me which cafe in Bogusville had the best cappuccinos.’
‘You mean those frothy little cups of coffee?’ Dr Trifle said.
‘Yes. She seemed surprised when I said there was only one cafe and they only had normal coffee. She also wanted to know which was the best gym and the best tennis club to join. I had to tell here that there weren’t any.’
‘I guess life here is more simple than in the city,’ Dr Trifle said, thoughtfully. ‘Speaking of puppies — I feel sorry for their dog.’
‘Equity is her name,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Why do you feel sorry for her?’
‘Equity, Equity, Equity,’ Selby thought, saying her name over and over in his head. ‘I’ll bet it’s the name of some ancient goddess. The goddess of beauty — or love. Oh Equity! Oh Equity! Oh Equity! I think I feel a poem coming on:
‘Her fur shines like the morning dew
It shimmers when she prances, too
It looks great from every angle
It’s loose and smooth and doesn’t ever
seem to tangle.’
‘She looks a bit lonely,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘She just lies around the front yard all day. I wonder if she’d get along with Selby.’
‘Oh, I hope so,’ Selby sighed. ‘My little heart is going to burst! I’m so in love I could faint. Or maybe I’ll swoon. Swooning sounds safer than fainting.’
As the joggers turned the corner at the end of the street the graceful dog turned her head, briefly.
‘She’s looking this way!’ Selby thought, fighting the urge to wave to her. ‘I wonder if she noticed me.’
Selby had visions of a glorious romance. Selby and Equity. Equity and Selby. He imagined himself scribbling their names on fences and drawing hearts around them.
‘I’ve got to make her fall in love with me,’ Selby thought. ‘Hmmm, how will I do it?’
Act II: Selby’s Plan
The next morning Selby slowly crossed the street to where Equity lay with her head on her paws.
‘What if she can’t stand the sight of me?’ he thought. ‘What if I can’t get her to notice my inner qualities? What if she bites me? Oh, look at her. She’s even more beautiful close up. My thoughts are spinning around in my head! I can hardly focus my eyes! I’m in agony — but it’s wonderful. Here comes another poem:
‘Oh heart, oh heart, oh I’ve been smitten
If love’s a bite, then I’ve been
bitten I’m all confused and I’m in pain!
Hang on! I think it bit me on the brain!’
‘What’s the best thing about me?’ Selby wondered. ‘Well, I’m not the most handsome dog in the world — and I’m short. But I have a good personality. That’s it! Hmmm, how do I show her my personality? I know: I’ll teach her to talk and then I’ll tell her Gary Gaggs’ jokes and things like that.’
‘Equity?’ Selby said out loud. ‘Equity?’
Equity gave him a startled stare.
‘My name is Selby,’ Selby said, pointing to himself.
Equity blinked and then looked at him again.
‘Try to say “Selby",’ Selby went on. ‘Ssssssssssss. Put your teeth together and your tongue at the top of your mouth and then blow. Sssssssss, like that. Ssssssssseeeeellllllllby.’
Equity tilted her head this way and that but didn’t make a sound.
‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to confuse you,’ Selby said. ‘How about saying “great” Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!’
‘Grrrrrrrrrrr,’ Equity growled back, adding a couple of barks.
‘Okay, stay cool,’ Selby said. ‘Now try putting an “ate” on it. Grrrrrrrrrr-ate!’
‘Grrrrrrrrrr!’ Equity growled.
‘Hang on, this isn’t
anger,
it’s
English.
Say “Selby is grrrrrrrr-ate"!’
‘ Grrrrrrrrrr,’ Equity growled again.
‘This isn’t working.’
Selby was just wondering what to do next when he heard a voice behind
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