him.
‘Kevin! Could you come here!’ Karen said.
Soon Kevin appeared.
‘What’s the problem?’
‘Equity was growling. I think this dog from across the street was bothering her.’
‘Bothering her?!’ Selby thought. ‘I wasn’t bothering her.’
‘She seems happy enough now,’ Kevin said.
‘Well maybe. But look at the state of him. He looks like he hasn’t had a bath for … for
days’
‘Days?’ Selby thought. ‘I haven’t had a bath for months — and I’m proud of it.’
‘And that fur looks like it’s never seen shampoo,’ Karen added, ‘or conditioner.’
‘He is a bit unkempt,’ Kevin agreed. ‘And he has doggy odour.’
‘I’ll bet he has fleas,’ Karen said.
‘Fleas? Really?’ Kevin said. ‘Then we can’t have him around Equity. If he comes here againI think we’ll have to ask the Trifles to tie him up. Hey, you!’ he said, turning to Selby. ‘Shoo! Go home!’ Selby started back across the street. ‘Fleas? Doggy odour?’ he thought. ‘I’m a dog, for pity’s sake. What do they expect?’
The next day Selby stayed in the Trifles’ front yard moping.
‘Poor Equity,’ he thought. ‘She needs me but I’m not even allowed to go near her. Now I’ll never get her to fall in love with me.’
Selby let these thoughts spin around and around in his head the way thoughts often do and then, suddenly, they came to a screeching stop.
Act III: Selby Gets Kempt
‘That’s it!’ he thought. ‘They don’t like me because they think I’m unkempt. I’m going to fix myself up. When I finish, I’ll be so
kempt
that they’ll want me around all the time. And,’ he added, as a smile flickered across his lips, ‘Equity won’t be able to resist me.’
Selby waited till the Trifles were out and filled the bathtub with warm water.
‘Sheeeesh,’ he thought. ‘I hate baths so this one’s for you, Equity. How about a little bubble action?’ he said, pouring bubble bath into the water.
Selby whipped off his collar and eased himself into the tub.
‘This isn’t so bad,’ he thought. ‘In fact, it’s kind of nice. Rub a dub dub, a dog in a tub,’ he sang as he grabbed the soap. ‘Wait! I should be using shampoo — and that conditioner stuff.’
In a few minutes, Selby was out of the tub and drying himself with a towel. Then he dried himself some more with Mrs Trifle’s hair dryer. Then he grabbed Dr Trifle’s toothbrush and brushed his teeth till they sparkled.
‘Hello, handsome,’ he said, looking in the mirror. ‘Anybody want a date?’
In seconds, Selby was across the street.
‘Hiya, Equity, baby. Here I am again — your dream dog. Have a look and get ready to fall in love.’
Selby turned around like a model in front of her.
‘Have a whiff,’ Selby said, putting his paw in front of her nose. ‘It’s called Evening Serenade. Isn’t that romantic?’
But Equity just put her head down again and closed her eyes.
Act IV: Selby Tries Again
‘That does it!’ Selby thought. ‘Forget this Mister-nice-smelling-pooch stuff, I’m going to teach her to talk the same way I learned to talk — by watching TV.’
Selby looked around to make sure no one was listening.
‘Equity,’ he said. ‘Come here. Follow me.’
Equity opened her eyes and gave him a blank stare.
‘Come! Equity, come!’ Selby said, starting across the street. ‘Come here!’
Equity followed Selby across the street. He had one last look around before he opened the front door and let her in. Then he turned on the TV and put a tape in the video recorder.
‘This is
Hearthwam Heath,’
Selby said. ‘It’s really sad but you’ll love it. This is the bit I was watching when I suddenly realised I couldunderstand people-talk. And it’s going to work for you, too, because I know you’re a sensitive dog.’
Equity lay on the carpet while Selby watched his favourite part of
Hearthwarm Heath.
Finally they got to where Basil the Butler was supposed to send the orphan girl out into
‘Kevin! Could you come here!’ Karen said.
Soon Kevin appeared.
‘What’s the problem?’
‘Equity was growling. I think this dog from across the street was bothering her.’
‘Bothering her?!’ Selby thought. ‘I wasn’t bothering her.’
‘She seems happy enough now,’ Kevin said.
‘Well maybe. But look at the state of him. He looks like he hasn’t had a bath for … for
days’
‘Days?’ Selby thought. ‘I haven’t had a bath for months — and I’m proud of it.’
‘And that fur looks like it’s never seen shampoo,’ Karen added, ‘or conditioner.’
‘He is a bit unkempt,’ Kevin agreed. ‘And he has doggy odour.’
‘I’ll bet he has fleas,’ Karen said.
‘Fleas? Really?’ Kevin said. ‘Then we can’t have him around Equity. If he comes here againI think we’ll have to ask the Trifles to tie him up. Hey, you!’ he said, turning to Selby. ‘Shoo! Go home!’ Selby started back across the street. ‘Fleas? Doggy odour?’ he thought. ‘I’m a dog, for pity’s sake. What do they expect?’
The next day Selby stayed in the Trifles’ front yard moping.
‘Poor Equity,’ he thought. ‘She needs me but I’m not even allowed to go near her. Now I’ll never get her to fall in love with me.’
Selby let these thoughts spin around and around in his head the way thoughts often do and then, suddenly, they came to a screeching stop.
Act III: Selby Gets Kempt
‘That’s it!’ he thought. ‘They don’t like me because they think I’m unkempt. I’m going to fix myself up. When I finish, I’ll be so
kempt
that they’ll want me around all the time. And,’ he added, as a smile flickered across his lips, ‘Equity won’t be able to resist me.’
Selby waited till the Trifles were out and filled the bathtub with warm water.
‘Sheeeesh,’ he thought. ‘I hate baths so this one’s for you, Equity. How about a little bubble action?’ he said, pouring bubble bath into the water.
Selby whipped off his collar and eased himself into the tub.
‘This isn’t so bad,’ he thought. ‘In fact, it’s kind of nice. Rub a dub dub, a dog in a tub,’ he sang as he grabbed the soap. ‘Wait! I should be using shampoo — and that conditioner stuff.’
In a few minutes, Selby was out of the tub and drying himself with a towel. Then he dried himself some more with Mrs Trifle’s hair dryer. Then he grabbed Dr Trifle’s toothbrush and brushed his teeth till they sparkled.
‘Hello, handsome,’ he said, looking in the mirror. ‘Anybody want a date?’
In seconds, Selby was across the street.
‘Hiya, Equity, baby. Here I am again — your dream dog. Have a look and get ready to fall in love.’
Selby turned around like a model in front of her.
‘Have a whiff,’ Selby said, putting his paw in front of her nose. ‘It’s called Evening Serenade. Isn’t that romantic?’
But Equity just put her head down again and closed her eyes.
Act IV: Selby Tries Again
‘That does it!’ Selby thought. ‘Forget this Mister-nice-smelling-pooch stuff, I’m going to teach her to talk the same way I learned to talk — by watching TV.’
Selby looked around to make sure no one was listening.
‘Equity,’ he said. ‘Come here. Follow me.’
Equity opened her eyes and gave him a blank stare.
‘Come! Equity, come!’ Selby said, starting across the street. ‘Come here!’
Equity followed Selby across the street. He had one last look around before he opened the front door and let her in. Then he turned on the TV and put a tape in the video recorder.
‘This is
Hearthwam Heath,’
Selby said. ‘It’s really sad but you’ll love it. This is the bit I was watching when I suddenly realised I couldunderstand people-talk. And it’s going to work for you, too, because I know you’re a sensitive dog.’
Equity lay on the carpet while Selby watched his favourite part of
Hearthwarm Heath.
Finally they got to where Basil the Butler was supposed to send the orphan girl out into
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