the snow.
‘This always gets to me,’ Selby thought as he wiped away a tear. ‘I wonder if Equity thinks it’s sad, too.’
Just then Selby heard Equity sniffle. She sniffled once, she sniffled twice and then she sniffled again.
‘It’s working!’ Selby said. ‘Equity! You must understand what’s going on! You must understand English now! You understand me now, don’t you? Equity, I love you. But don’t try to speak. It’s all too soon, darling. You can tell me that you love me later after you’ve practised talking for a while.’
Equity’s sniffle turned into a sniff. She got up and sniffed the air, then followed the smell to Selby’s bowl which was filled with Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits. In a second, she’d gobbled the lot. Selby looked on in disbelief.
‘Oh, no, you weren’t sad after all. You were just hungry. Oh, Equity! How can you stand those awful things?!’ Selby felt his feelings for Equity slipping away. ‘Selby, you’re being very very silly,’ he said to himself. ‘Tell me that she’ snot shallow. Tell me she’s not just a hairdo on legs.’
Act V: Selby Tries to Forget Equity
‘There’s something odd about Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said, later that day. ‘He smells different. I don’t know what it is. He even feels different when you pat him.’
‘I am different,’ Selby thought. ‘That’s the problem. I’m not a dog anymore. Not quite dog and not quite person. I wish I’d never learned to talk. If I was just a dog dog then maybe Equity would like me. Now I wish I’d never met her either. I’m just going to have to snap out of it and put her out of my mind.’
A minute later the doorbell rang. Mrs Trifle opened it and there was Karen looking a bit upset.
‘Equity’s gone missing,’ she said. ‘We’ve driven all around and we can’t find her.’
‘That’s terrible,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Don’t worry, she’ll turn up. She does have a collar with your phone number on it, doesn’t she?’
‘Yes, but I’m still worried,’ Karen said. ‘Oh, listen, I meant to ask you earlier, which is the best cable TV network to get?’ ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘We want to get cable TV. All we get is two TV stations and they’re kind of fuzzy.’
‘There’s no cable TV here,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Just two stations. If one gets too fuzzy we just turn to the other one. It’s simple. Life here really is quite simple.’ ‘Yes, I guess it is.’
Selby lay there thinking of Equity. ‘Mrs Trifle is right — she’ll probably turn up. But she’s a city dog. I don’t think she understands the country. And if she’s lost on Gumboot Mountain, she could be lost forever. I’d better go looking. And here I am trying to forget her!’
Selby headed down streets and across fields till he reached the woods near Gumboot Mountain. All the while he called her name and listened. ‘Equity! Equity! Come here!’
Finally he heard a distant bark.
‘That’s her bark!’ he thought. ‘I’d recognise it anywhere.’
Selby made his way through a valley until he found Equity standing on the other side of a muddy ditch. When she saw him, she wagged her tail furiously.
‘Come here!’ Selby said. ‘Come on!’
She started down into the ditch but stopped and looked up helplessly at Selby.
‘It’s just a little mud,’ Selby said. ‘Come on.’
Equity put her paw out onto the mud and then stepped back and barked at it.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ Selby said. ‘Here, I’ll help you.’
Selby stepped into the mud, sinking up to his belly.
‘Crumbs! This is deep.’
Selby struggled towards Equity. Suddenly, when he was halfway there, she leapt from her side and landed right in the middle of his back. In a second, he was up to his ears in the mud.
‘Hey! Get off me!’ he thought (but couldn’t say because his mouth was full of mud). ‘You’re drowning me!’
As quickly as she’d landed on him, Equity jumped off again to the other side of the ditch. Selby struggled
‘This always gets to me,’ Selby thought as he wiped away a tear. ‘I wonder if Equity thinks it’s sad, too.’
Just then Selby heard Equity sniffle. She sniffled once, she sniffled twice and then she sniffled again.
‘It’s working!’ Selby said. ‘Equity! You must understand what’s going on! You must understand English now! You understand me now, don’t you? Equity, I love you. But don’t try to speak. It’s all too soon, darling. You can tell me that you love me later after you’ve practised talking for a while.’
Equity’s sniffle turned into a sniff. She got up and sniffed the air, then followed the smell to Selby’s bowl which was filled with Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits. In a second, she’d gobbled the lot. Selby looked on in disbelief.
‘Oh, no, you weren’t sad after all. You were just hungry. Oh, Equity! How can you stand those awful things?!’ Selby felt his feelings for Equity slipping away. ‘Selby, you’re being very very silly,’ he said to himself. ‘Tell me that she’ snot shallow. Tell me she’s not just a hairdo on legs.’
Act V: Selby Tries to Forget Equity
‘There’s something odd about Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said, later that day. ‘He smells different. I don’t know what it is. He even feels different when you pat him.’
‘I am different,’ Selby thought. ‘That’s the problem. I’m not a dog anymore. Not quite dog and not quite person. I wish I’d never learned to talk. If I was just a dog dog then maybe Equity would like me. Now I wish I’d never met her either. I’m just going to have to snap out of it and put her out of my mind.’
A minute later the doorbell rang. Mrs Trifle opened it and there was Karen looking a bit upset.
‘Equity’s gone missing,’ she said. ‘We’ve driven all around and we can’t find her.’
‘That’s terrible,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Don’t worry, she’ll turn up. She does have a collar with your phone number on it, doesn’t she?’
‘Yes, but I’m still worried,’ Karen said. ‘Oh, listen, I meant to ask you earlier, which is the best cable TV network to get?’ ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘We want to get cable TV. All we get is two TV stations and they’re kind of fuzzy.’
‘There’s no cable TV here,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Just two stations. If one gets too fuzzy we just turn to the other one. It’s simple. Life here really is quite simple.’ ‘Yes, I guess it is.’
Selby lay there thinking of Equity. ‘Mrs Trifle is right — she’ll probably turn up. But she’s a city dog. I don’t think she understands the country. And if she’s lost on Gumboot Mountain, she could be lost forever. I’d better go looking. And here I am trying to forget her!’
Selby headed down streets and across fields till he reached the woods near Gumboot Mountain. All the while he called her name and listened. ‘Equity! Equity! Come here!’
Finally he heard a distant bark.
‘That’s her bark!’ he thought. ‘I’d recognise it anywhere.’
Selby made his way through a valley until he found Equity standing on the other side of a muddy ditch. When she saw him, she wagged her tail furiously.
‘Come here!’ Selby said. ‘Come on!’
She started down into the ditch but stopped and looked up helplessly at Selby.
‘It’s just a little mud,’ Selby said. ‘Come on.’
Equity put her paw out onto the mud and then stepped back and barked at it.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ Selby said. ‘Here, I’ll help you.’
Selby stepped into the mud, sinking up to his belly.
‘Crumbs! This is deep.’
Selby struggled towards Equity. Suddenly, when he was halfway there, she leapt from her side and landed right in the middle of his back. In a second, he was up to his ears in the mud.
‘Hey! Get off me!’ he thought (but couldn’t say because his mouth was full of mud). ‘You’re drowning me!’
As quickly as she’d landed on him, Equity jumped off again to the other side of the ditch. Selby struggled
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