without it, without him .
Sienna forcibly ripped herself from her thoughts, refusing to go down that road this early in the morning, especially when she was already feeling so delicate. Glancing at the clock, she figured she had enough time to quickly roll a joint before dashing to catch the earlier service bus to College, which would get her in forty five minutes ahead of everyone else, leaving her with plenty of time to relax and mentally prepare, on her own, before having to deal with the swarms of adolescent rabble and disappointing lecturers for yet another day. She just prayed she wouldn’t encounter Sam again.
It wasn’t until Sienna was half way down the street, backpack swinging off her shoulder, joint and lighter tucked deeply and safely in her jacket pocket, that she actually looked down at the clothes she was wearing - the same clothes she had worn yesterday, the same clothes she had slept in. The old her would have been embarrassed at her crumpled, un-ironed jeans and the slight discoloration of her black t-shirt where she had spilled a little vodka. But the old her also had friends and a lover - people to impress and make effort for. Who did Sienna Smith have to impress these days?
Her mood and hangover were not helped by the grim stench of the old man who sat in front of her on the bus, or by the magnification of the sun's heat through the un-opened windows, and it was with great relief that she allowed the vehicles automatic doors spew her onto the tarmac of the College’s virtually empty car park. Without hesitation she made her way up the slight slope towards the hidden far corner of the smoking area and the peaceful company of its trees and shrubs. She slipped in through the narrow entrance way, her feet crunching satisfyingly into the gravel as her fingers stroked the smooth, waxy leaves of the shrubberies. She spent a few moments calculating angles and viewpoints, before finally taking a seat on top of the bin in the far right corner - the only spot that couldn’t be seen by anyone in the car park.
The many layers of thick, green leaves above her head had turned the tiny motes of sunshine into soft, shimmering, light green specs of off-color gold dust, filling the tiny area with the impression and essence of being deep in a magical woodland. Once more in the company of nature, Sienna felt herself relaxing and becoming calm, a feeling that was helped along as she lit her doobie and sucked upon it deeply. The popping and crackling of the burning paper and tobacco seemed oddly loud in the tiny, silent space, and Sienna took comfort in the knowledge that - no matter what the day may throw at her, she could always return and seek sanctuary in this magical little corner of peace. She raised her head and blew a thick cloud of smoke up towards the tree tops, her soul placated as she gazed at the beauty of the towering silver birch above her.
“Live for the moment.” She whispered to the silent air, raising an imaginary glass to the distant horizon and imagining the delicate ‘clink’ of a glass raised in response, unsure whether she wanted to laugh or cry, or maybe both.
Sam’s early start had been a damn good idea, even if he said so himself. He had woken with the rising sun, feeling refreshed and eager, if still slightly achy - safe to say it was the best and most positive start to any day he’d had in a long time. He could finally put his problems in perspective - he felt as if he were soaring high above the clouds, looking down on his world from this new vantage point that made everything seem much, much simpler. Yes his life had more than its fair share of problems, and yes they were numerous and burdensome, but he was about to make the change that would fix it all. It was as if a grayscale filter had been removed from his retinas, and only now could he see all the infinite beauty and possibility in the
Sienna forcibly ripped herself from her thoughts, refusing to go down that road this early in the morning, especially when she was already feeling so delicate. Glancing at the clock, she figured she had enough time to quickly roll a joint before dashing to catch the earlier service bus to College, which would get her in forty five minutes ahead of everyone else, leaving her with plenty of time to relax and mentally prepare, on her own, before having to deal with the swarms of adolescent rabble and disappointing lecturers for yet another day. She just prayed she wouldn’t encounter Sam again.
It wasn’t until Sienna was half way down the street, backpack swinging off her shoulder, joint and lighter tucked deeply and safely in her jacket pocket, that she actually looked down at the clothes she was wearing - the same clothes she had worn yesterday, the same clothes she had slept in. The old her would have been embarrassed at her crumpled, un-ironed jeans and the slight discoloration of her black t-shirt where she had spilled a little vodka. But the old her also had friends and a lover - people to impress and make effort for. Who did Sienna Smith have to impress these days?
Her mood and hangover were not helped by the grim stench of the old man who sat in front of her on the bus, or by the magnification of the sun's heat through the un-opened windows, and it was with great relief that she allowed the vehicles automatic doors spew her onto the tarmac of the College’s virtually empty car park. Without hesitation she made her way up the slight slope towards the hidden far corner of the smoking area and the peaceful company of its trees and shrubs. She slipped in through the narrow entrance way, her feet crunching satisfyingly into the gravel as her fingers stroked the smooth, waxy leaves of the shrubberies. She spent a few moments calculating angles and viewpoints, before finally taking a seat on top of the bin in the far right corner - the only spot that couldn’t be seen by anyone in the car park.
The many layers of thick, green leaves above her head had turned the tiny motes of sunshine into soft, shimmering, light green specs of off-color gold dust, filling the tiny area with the impression and essence of being deep in a magical woodland. Once more in the company of nature, Sienna felt herself relaxing and becoming calm, a feeling that was helped along as she lit her doobie and sucked upon it deeply. The popping and crackling of the burning paper and tobacco seemed oddly loud in the tiny, silent space, and Sienna took comfort in the knowledge that - no matter what the day may throw at her, she could always return and seek sanctuary in this magical little corner of peace. She raised her head and blew a thick cloud of smoke up towards the tree tops, her soul placated as she gazed at the beauty of the towering silver birch above her.
“Live for the moment.” She whispered to the silent air, raising an imaginary glass to the distant horizon and imagining the delicate ‘clink’ of a glass raised in response, unsure whether she wanted to laugh or cry, or maybe both.
Sam’s early start had been a damn good idea, even if he said so himself. He had woken with the rising sun, feeling refreshed and eager, if still slightly achy - safe to say it was the best and most positive start to any day he’d had in a long time. He could finally put his problems in perspective - he felt as if he were soaring high above the clouds, looking down on his world from this new vantage point that made everything seem much, much simpler. Yes his life had more than its fair share of problems, and yes they were numerous and burdensome, but he was about to make the change that would fix it all. It was as if a grayscale filter had been removed from his retinas, and only now could he see all the infinite beauty and possibility in the
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