gel in the glove compartment, and we helped ourselves.
âBut donât you find it weird that Gwendoline is from Oxford and coaching the Cambridge team?â I asked.
âNot at all,â he said, âthe Hawthornes have lived in Cambridge for generations. Gwen went to Oxford because she wanted to do fine art, which you canât do in Cambridge. Seriously, kids, donât look any further. Everyone wants us to winâeveryone except the river and the bug in it.â
He dropped us off in the city center inCambridge, and we had to admit it had been another very bad day for sleuthing.
I gloomily passed by the gate of Christâs College. It was very hot, I thought, even though it was apparently raining. And I was very tired, even though it was only five oâclock. The river air, probably.
âGood evening, Sophie.â
âEvening, parents.â
âHow was the outing? Howâs the article going?â
âNot great.â
âYouâre not very chatty tonight.â
âNo.â
Thatâs when I fell onto the armrest of the armchair, bounced off it, landed on the floor, was even more colorfully sick than Gary and then all I remember is                                                                                                    Â
VII
âEnough, Mother! A week of carrots is enough for anyone. I am not a bunny!
Je ne suis pas un
bunny!
No soy un
bunny! I donât want to see or smell another carrot in my life. I wish carrots would disappear from the surface of the planet. In fact they probably are disappearing, since youâre feeding them all to me.â
âThe problem with Sophie is that sheâs a dramatic little Sarah Bernhardt,â sighed Mum. âEat your carrot puree.â
âIâm warning you, if I do end up turning into a rabbit, Iâll leave perfectly round little turds everywhere in the house. Everywhere. Thatâll teach you.â
âEat your carrot puree.â
âBring me a rare, juicy, sinewy leg of lamb.â
âEat this and then you can have a banana.â
âHow about food for humans? I demand chicken korma and blackberry crumble.â
âNot until you are cured.â
âI am cured! I havenât thrown up in fifteen hours and twelve minutes. Thirteen now. Can I go to school?â
âNo. Eat.â
I yawned, and she took advantage of the open mouth to thrust an enormous spoonful of the disgusting orange paste into it.
âYouâre shuch a bad nurshe,â I shpluttered. âDad ish a mushch better nurshe than you. Heâsh all shweet and caring and he shtrokes my head. Where ish he?â
âAt shursh,â said Mum, âI mean church. Eat your carrots, and then shleep. I mean sleep. Iâm going to work; have a nice day.â
She walked out, and I sighed. It was Friday. Toby, Gemma and I had been out of action for a whole week, and the Boat Race was tomorrow.
In sickness or in health, there was no way Iâdlet the serial poisoner get away with it.
As soon as Mum had left the house, I got out my phone and went click-click-click-call.
âHello-hello?â said Gemmaâs voice at the other end of the line. âWhoâs the lucky person whoâs got the honor of talking to me?â
âSesame,â I said. âBut I think youâll find
youâve
got the honor of talking to
me
.â
âHello, Sess! How long since you last threw up?â
âFifteen hours and twenty-one minutes. You?â
âTwelve hours and two minutes.â
âWeâre basically cured.â
âThatâs what I keep telling my parents, but they
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