Read Online Saving Sara (Redemption #1) by Nicola Marsh - Free Book Online
Authors: Nicola Marsh
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Olly?”
Jake’s heart sank. He didn’t want to talk about this, not when he was still digesting the thought of being Olly’s caregiver now and possibly sometime in the future. But he owed Cilla an explanation and it would be easier to get it out in the open now.
“I resigned from my job six months ago.” He eyed the whiskey and wished he did drink. “There was an accident. One of the planes I serviced crashed soon after takeoff, killing all eighty-nine on board.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake. That must’ve been tough.” Her audible pity didn’t help. He didn’t need to be pitied. He needed to be made accountable. Maybe that’s why he’d taken on Olly. It was a way to redeem himself, if only in his own eyes.
“I was cleared of any wrongdoing,” he said.
“But you still feel guilty anyway.” It was a statement, not a question, and he marveled at how the aunt he hadn’t seen in eighteen years understood him better than anyone else had after the accident.
He nodded. “I was tired on the job that day. Had been on the phone to Rose late the night before, after she finished her shift at the restaurant where she works. We had a huge argument. About Dad, ironically.”
He swallowed the bile that rose whenever he thought of his father’s demise. “Ironic, because after the massive argument I had with Dad, he drank himself into a stupor and fell down the stairs. Though he only killed himself by accident. I killed eighty-nine.”
Cilla puffed up like an outraged bullfrog. “Now you listen to me, young man. You did not kill anyone. Accidents happen. You’re not to blame. You hear me?”
He appreciated his aunt’s protectiveness but he was to blame. He’d bowed to pressure from his superior, who demanded they get all flights that day out on time. So he’d ignored a niggle in his gut that one of the routine checks, one he’d done a thousand times as an aircraft mechanic, wasn’t quite right, despite being unable to pinpoint where that niggle came from.
He’d cleared the plane for takeoff and it had crashed.
That faulty plane hadn’t taken eighty-nine innocent lives.
He had.
He’d killed those people. A horrific nightmare he confronted every single day.
Being cleared of wrongdoing by the aviation authority hadn’t helped. For Jake knew the truth. His actions—or inaction—that day had impacted the lives of countless people and he’d never forgive himself for it.
Cilla stood, towering over him, hands on hips. “You think I don’t know what guilt is? I live with the thought I drove Vernon to his death every single day. I’d had it with his perpetual moaning about how he was going to kill himself, so I plucked up the courage to finally answer back.”
Her chest heaved with the breaths she dragged in. “I told him to go ahead and do it. To stop whining and do us all a favor and follow through on his hollow threats. I taunted him . . .” She pressed the pads of her fingers to her eyes. “When I learned he’d driven his car into that tree deliberately, I beat myself up over it.”
Blown away by her confession, Jake stood and enveloped her into his arms. Cilla let him comfort her for a moment before pushing away.
“But you know something? Guilt can eat away at you. It can stifle your future.” She patted her chest. “After all I’d been through because of that man, I decided I wanted to embrace a new future. He owed me that much.”
Jake could see the point she was trying to make but Cilla’s actions, or words, more precisely, had inadvertently resulted in the death of one man. Jake’s recklessness had killed way too many.
“Promise me you’ll use your time here to put the past to rest and let go of your guilt.” She cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to eyeball her. “Promise me.”
Jake gritted his teeth. “I won’t make promises I can’t keep, but I’ll try to work through my stuff.”
She frowned but released him. “As for your father, your argument didn’t
Jake’s heart sank. He didn’t want to talk about this, not when he was still digesting the thought of being Olly’s caregiver now and possibly sometime in the future. But he owed Cilla an explanation and it would be easier to get it out in the open now.
“I resigned from my job six months ago.” He eyed the whiskey and wished he did drink. “There was an accident. One of the planes I serviced crashed soon after takeoff, killing all eighty-nine on board.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake. That must’ve been tough.” Her audible pity didn’t help. He didn’t need to be pitied. He needed to be made accountable. Maybe that’s why he’d taken on Olly. It was a way to redeem himself, if only in his own eyes.
“I was cleared of any wrongdoing,” he said.
“But you still feel guilty anyway.” It was a statement, not a question, and he marveled at how the aunt he hadn’t seen in eighteen years understood him better than anyone else had after the accident.
He nodded. “I was tired on the job that day. Had been on the phone to Rose late the night before, after she finished her shift at the restaurant where she works. We had a huge argument. About Dad, ironically.”
He swallowed the bile that rose whenever he thought of his father’s demise. “Ironic, because after the massive argument I had with Dad, he drank himself into a stupor and fell down the stairs. Though he only killed himself by accident. I killed eighty-nine.”
Cilla puffed up like an outraged bullfrog. “Now you listen to me, young man. You did not kill anyone. Accidents happen. You’re not to blame. You hear me?”
He appreciated his aunt’s protectiveness but he was to blame. He’d bowed to pressure from his superior, who demanded they get all flights that day out on time. So he’d ignored a niggle in his gut that one of the routine checks, one he’d done a thousand times as an aircraft mechanic, wasn’t quite right, despite being unable to pinpoint where that niggle came from.
He’d cleared the plane for takeoff and it had crashed.
That faulty plane hadn’t taken eighty-nine innocent lives.
He had.
He’d killed those people. A horrific nightmare he confronted every single day.
Being cleared of wrongdoing by the aviation authority hadn’t helped. For Jake knew the truth. His actions—or inaction—that day had impacted the lives of countless people and he’d never forgive himself for it.
Cilla stood, towering over him, hands on hips. “You think I don’t know what guilt is? I live with the thought I drove Vernon to his death every single day. I’d had it with his perpetual moaning about how he was going to kill himself, so I plucked up the courage to finally answer back.”
Her chest heaved with the breaths she dragged in. “I told him to go ahead and do it. To stop whining and do us all a favor and follow through on his hollow threats. I taunted him . . .” She pressed the pads of her fingers to her eyes. “When I learned he’d driven his car into that tree deliberately, I beat myself up over it.”
Blown away by her confession, Jake stood and enveloped her into his arms. Cilla let him comfort her for a moment before pushing away.
“But you know something? Guilt can eat away at you. It can stifle your future.” She patted her chest. “After all I’d been through because of that man, I decided I wanted to embrace a new future. He owed me that much.”
Jake could see the point she was trying to make but Cilla’s actions, or words, more precisely, had inadvertently resulted in the death of one man. Jake’s recklessness had killed way too many.
“Promise me you’ll use your time here to put the past to rest and let go of your guilt.” She cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to eyeball her. “Promise me.”
Jake gritted his teeth. “I won’t make promises I can’t keep, but I’ll try to work through my stuff.”
She frowned but released him. “As for your father, your argument didn’t
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