Read Online Redemption by Kaye Draper - Free Book Online Page B

of this alive, her money was on Isaac.  She felt
utterly alone with this knowledge.  His words before had resonated with
her more than he realized.  She knew exactly what he meant.  It seemed
like someone should know her.
    "I
like to read," she blurted abruptly.
    Isaac
gave her a startled look, but something in her face made him smile and squeeze
her hand.  "Really?"
    She
nodded and rushed on, her words halting and awkward.  "I read all the
time.  So I don't feel alone.  I have stacks and stacks of books.  Towers
of them.  I can never get rid of them once I've read them; they're like
old friends.  And I drink mint tea and sit on the floor of my apartment, under
the only decent window, where I can feel the sun and remember what it’s like to
be warm inside."
    He
laughed, a deep, rich sound that made her chest ache.  "What kinds of
things do you read?" he asked with genuine curiosity.
    Rebecca
looked at the world around them, like the wilderness from a storybook.  "Fantasy,"
she said.  "Romance.  Books with magic and happy endings."
    His
smile deepened as his gaze followed hers to the world around them. 
"Imagine that."  She laughed.  His hand engulfed hers
completely, and it only made her feel smaller, in danger of disappearing. 
She clung to his hand like a lifeline.
    "I
was lucky," she said, not looking at him, ashamed, knowing that her
troubles were nothing compared to his.  "I had a happy childhood with
both parents and a big house.  I didn't have any brothers or sisters, but
I had a dog.  A big Newfoundland called Tinkerbell."
    He
laughed, not a trace of bitterness or judgment in his tone. 
"Tinkerbell?"
    She
nodded.  "My Dad has a sense of humor.  Tink weighed a
hundred and thirty pounds."  She sighed.  "There was nothing
lacking in my childhood.  I was shy in school, and the kids picked on me,
but I got great grades and a scholarship for college.”
     
“Maybe," she glanced at Isaac.  "Maybe I just expected too
much, you know?  I thought I would grow up to be like my parents, with a
nice, big house where I could stay at home and raise kids and dogs and be
perfectly happy."
    His
big thumb stroked absently over the smooth skin on the back of her hand, and
she focused her attention on the feeling that simple touch gave her, right
below her ribcage.  It staved off the regret that normally would have
overwhelmed her. 
    "I met Raman my
first year in college.  He was a med student when I was still a
freshman.  He fit all my ideals perfectly- smart, exotic, rich.  We
were married during our second year, and I got pregnant right after. 
I didn't think much about my education.  I had achieved my goal to be a
wife and mom, so I didn’t really need a career."  She paused to
draw a breath. 
    "But
you know how that turned out.  And then Raman left.  Then I
didn't have anything.  No husband, no house filled with
children and dogs, and no education or way to support myself."  She lifted
her shoulders and let them drop. 
    "Right
after I lost the baby, I kind of, I don't know- withdrew?  I didn't want
to see anyone or talk to anyone.  At first all my family and friends were
understanding.  After all, I'd just been through something terrible.”  She
shrugged again.  “But, for whatever reason, I got stuck.  I couldn't
move past it and get better.  Nothing mattered.  So they gradually
stopped understanding.  Then they stopped calling or coming around.
    “I
haven't talked to my parents in a couple of years.  And now...
well now I don't care about much of anything.  I live in a little flat
downtown, and I wait tables to pay my rent and my student loans.  I lost
my scholarship a long time ago, and I can't afford to finish school- even if
I wanted to, which I don't."  Her thoughts echoed
his.  "I'm no one.  I think… I think the only reason I keep
going through the motions of living is because I don’t know what else to
do."
    Isaac
didn't try to comfort