Read Online Really Weird Removals.com by Daniela Sacerdoti - Free Book Online Page A

defiantly.
    “You sure? They’d treat you ok, and you’d be free in three hundred years,” he says, his expression deadpan.
    “MFFFFFF mfffff mmffff,” says Jimmy.
    Yes, you read right. We found Jimmy – Kenny’s neighbour who got bitten by the stone fairies – wandering in the woods in his underpants, frozen. He can’t remember a thing. We brought him to the van to warm him up but he keeps trying to run away, so we’ve wrapped him up warm in a jumper and an extra sleeping bag, which Alistair had brought just for him, and we’ve tied him up. He half drank, half drooled the mug of tea we gave him. Now he’s lying down, mmmffffing on the ground between us.
    “You wouldn’t swap us,” I protest, sitting up.
    “Mum and Dad would be pretty angry if you lost us,” points out Valentina, as if she’s not that worried.
    Uncle Alistair sighs deeply. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. I’m not going to lose anyone else,children.” His voice has a sad note, all of a sudden. His shoulders have stooped, and he seems far away.
    Valentina and I look at each other.
    “Of course. We know we’re safe with you,” whispers Valentina, taking his hand.
    “Uncle Alistair,” I ask, “I know you don’t want to tell us what happened, but… why does Dad think it’s your fault that Papa and Granny disappeared? Aunt Shuna said it was an accident…”
    He shook his head. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I have no excuses. But what happened… couldn’t have been predicted. So Shuna is right too, in a way. It was… a fluke. A terrible fluke…”
    While he’s talking, a strange sound builds up in my ears. I shake my head. It’s like my ears are ringing, in a weird way.
    “It should not have happened…”
    The sound is getting stronger, more defined. It’s a melody, similar to the music I heard in my room a few nights ago. I shake my head, thumping my ears with my hands. There can’t be music here, in the woods. It must be in my head. Nobody else seems to hear it.
    “…Duncan is right to blame me. But you know, I’m trying to make it right, Luca… I’ll make it up to all of you…”
    That very moment, something hits Alistair’s forehead – hard, right between his eyebrows. The melody stops at once.
    Alistair is stunned for a second, his eyes crossed, and then he jumps up, holding the missile. “It’s a walnut!” he cries. “So much for that book, Vally.”
    We look around, unsure what to do next, but aware that something has started.
    “HAIRSPRAY!” Uncle Alistair booms all of a sudden. We each take possession of a can and crouch expectantly. Camilla is floating above us, a can in each hand.
    A pause.
    A moment.
    A lifetime.
    And then they arrive: black, nasty, persistent – like flies, all around us, in horrible little clouds. We spray and spray and spray. A few lie stunned on the ground, others run away, while some hover around us, biding their time, darting this way and that every time one of us takes aim. I can see them clearly now, their little scrunched-up, malevolent faces, their wisp of black hair and their ghastly eyes , shining like pieces of night. They’re as small as my hand, but there are a lot of them. An awful lot. Awful being the key word.
    “STOP!” cries Alistair. His cry is not panicked, it’s commanding.
    The stone fairies actually stop too.
    Valentina is on one knee, her hairspray can ready to shoot. Her blonde hair is sticking out, solid, into what looks like a cloud around her head. The fairies must have ruffled it as they buzzed her, and the hairspray in the air has made it rigid. If I weren’t scared to death, I would laugh.
    “All right. You win. I have brought two children for you. In exchange for Ella. Look.”
    Oh, Mamma Mia , as Mum would say. What is he thinking?
    “Look. A boy and a girl! For you! Let Ella be.”
    The cloud of fairies buzzes, swerves, breaks into two battalions. In between, a single fairy emerges. It’s wearing a little