Read Online Pushing Upward by Andrea Adler - Free Book Online

imagined and the rooms were small? So what if there were no Persian rugs or French provincial furniture or priceless antiques? Somehow, I could already sense that it wasn’t the things in this place that were about to change me. It was a feeling—an underlying feeling of expansion and the premonition that anything in the world, anything in the realm of possibility, could happen to me here. This feeling seemed much more important than what my eyes were seeing or what my nose was inhaling.
    We followed Emma down the hallway. Paintings hung everywhere! Large paintings, small paintings, paintings in antique frames, paintings in modern frames. There were portraits and still lifes, landscapes and abstracts, each one more alluring, more animated, than the next, each one revealing a unique story. I realized then that this place, her home, where she had lived and breathed for years, was where she had nurtured Josef and where he had imbibed all her love and had woven the sum total of their love into his creations. I couldn’t imagine that I was being given the opportunity to live here, to drink in this energy, to bathe in it.
    One painting mesmerized me: it was of three middle-aged men sitting at a table in a dark bar. The intense brushstrokes of deeply penetrating browns and burgundies brought such depth to the characters that the figures truly came alive. I stopped at the next picture to study the rich colors of the robust country farmer, proud of the land he cultivated, when Emma’s voice, close beside me, said, “He was a great painter, wasn’t he?”
    â€œYes, he was,” I replied.
    And your encouragement—that made sure of it, I thought.
    The woman standing beside me was quiet. A moment of stillness turned into forever while everything around me intensified—colors, sounds, touch. I could hear dust fly and smell the dried paint on the canvas and the various woods that framed the paintings. And in that moment of stillness, there was an understanding between us that went beyond words or thoughts. As we stood there in front of Josef’s paintings, we were two vessels open to the mystery of what had brought us together. Open to the challenge of what the future might bring. Emma was a formidable woman indeed. She had plenty to teach me, and I had plenty to learn. I was about to be … Pushing Upward.
    â€œHoly crap. I gotta go!” Larry’s interjection startled me. He was looking at his Mickey Mouse wristwatch. “I’m s’posed ta meet my brother at the Sunset Diner in ten minutes.”
    â€œEmma, do you mind if we bring my things up now?”
    â€œGo ahead, dear.”
    â€œ Larry, where’d you leave your manners?” He didn’t answer as we headed down the elevator and piled the rest of my bags and loose shoes in each other’s arms. After Larry dropped my favorite dress on the ground, I had no words. I picked up the garment, and we took the elevator back up to my new home—in silence.
    I was pretty certain about saying good-bye to Larry—forever. Saying good-bye meant an end to a significant Chapter of my life, a major shift from surface encounters to what I hoped would be substantive, fulfilling relationships. I couldn’t wait to meet intelligent, talented people who knew where they were going and were willing to work hard to get there. People I could learn from and respect. I didn’t know when I’d meet these people; I just knew I was going to. It was all part of this impending excursion I was about to take off on. And like all great adventures, there was no telling how different the traveler would be when the trip was over, or where the changes would lead.
    After all my belongings were stacked high on my new bed, I gave a hug to the boy who had warmed my lips and caressed my body on nights I couldn’t stand to be alone. And as I pulled away from his tight embrace, I remembered how effortless it was to lie next to him,